Godzilla Trilogy (Netflix)

We're talking anime now, baybee. While Attack on Titan was an adaptation of manga/anime, it was a live action film. So the first time we're talking about anime. In fact, this is our first animated film covered on this entire blog. This one is a bit complex as it is actually a trilogy of films rather than just one, but these are so closely connected that it felt weird giving a different post to each. When learning this existed I found myself confused about why it had never been done before: animation seems like the perfect medium for Godzilla (and all kaiju, really). So we're here to see if animation is indeed a good fit for the main man Big G, with a series of films directed by Kōbun Shizuno and Hiroyuki Seshita. This is going to be an extremely long synopsis since it is 3 films, so let's get to it!

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- Humanity has been away from planet Earth after being chased away by Godzilla, all of humankind living on a space colony alongside the alien races the Bilusaludo and Exif.

- The Exif are a religious species which worship an unnamed God and have advanced technology which allows them to glimpse the future, while the Bilusaludo are a hyper-logical and pragmatic species who have given up most of their culture and material comfort for the sake of accomplishing their goals.

- Main character Haruo Sakaki (human) desires nothing more than to return to Earth and kill Godzilla.

- With no viable options for another habitable planet, the Coalition decides to return to Earth but know they will have to contend with Godzilla. Upon arriving back on Earth, they discover they've been gone for 10,000 years due to relativity.

- Sakaki has developed a plan to kill Godzilla using EMPs, and it actually appears to work when they kill Godzilla shortly after making it back to Earth. They then realize that the Godzilla they've killed is basically Baby Godzilla, and the real one has no awakened again and kills nearly everyone on the planet.

- Sakaki swears revenge and is rescued by a group of humanoids who now live on Earth: the Houtua. The Houtua worship Mothra, and Sakaki's get involved with the Shobijin twins.

- The Houtua introduce the Coalition to nanometal, an incredibly advanced material created while developing MechaGodzilla and that can be shaped into functionally anything and they believe can be used to kill Godzilla once and for all.

- Despite being warned by the Houtua that the city is poison, the Coalition embraces the nanometal that has consumed a segment of the planet and dub this area MechaGodzilla City. They use the resources of the city to prepare to finish Godzilla.

- With the showdown with Godzilla impending, the Coalition is running out of time to finish their preparations and Sakaki learns that the Bilusaludo are fusing their bodies with the nanometal to serve as neural processors to increase the speed, efficienct, and power of the living city.

- Despite being told by the Bilusaludon commander that the process was strictly voluntary, when Godzilla wipes out most of their weaponry the commander orders the nanometal to forcibly absorb their remaining troops to make one final offensive and is guaranteed to work.

- Sakaki, having had his injuries treated by the Houtua and therefore immune to the nanometal (if he wants to be), makes the hard decision to destroy MechaGodzilla City rather than kill Godzilla, as the city itself would continue to absorb the rest of the planet after finishing the current task.

- While Sakaki's fate is being considered by his superiors, he is being treated as both hero and villain by the Coalition while he has taken refuge with a group of Exif led by the priest Mephties. 

- The remaining Bilusaludo functionally force the Coalition's hand, and remove their resources from the greater unit to demand that Sakaki is punished or even executed for destroying MechaGodzilla City.

- The Houtua have a philosophy that making life is "winning" and dying or disappearing is "losing," so the Shobijin twins offer to mate with Sakaki (on separate occasions, don't be weird) to ensure that he "wins" by continuing into the future. He eventually accepts one of their offers.

- The God of the Exif is revealed to be Ghidorah, who consumes almost all of the Exif as he manifests through an amulet in Mephties' eye.

- Unbound by the rules of physical reality, Ghidorah lays waste to Godzilla while remaining completely invulnerable to all weapons either human or kaiju.

- Sakaki is told he is key to the Exif's plan, who worship Ghidorah because of his unbridled and unstoppable power: Sakaki's hatred of Godzilla will be an anchor for Ghidorah to take permanent hold in this universe, allowing his destruction to be unimpending and no longer requiring summoning rituals.

- WIth the help of the Shobijin and some others, Sakaki decides to fight back and shatters the amulet in Mephties' eye, now binding Ghidorah to the physics of this universe and allowing Godzilla to fight back.

- Godzilla kills Ghidorah relatively easily and Sakaki, told that Ghidorah would be watching him as long as he lives, decides to provoke Godzilla into killing him so that Ghidorah will not be able to take hold in the world using Sakaki ever again, as he cannot give up his hatred of Godzilla.

- With both the Bilusaludo and Exif now extinct as a result of Ghidorah's actions, Humans and the Houtua live together happily on Earth, with Sakaki's descendants being among them. The difference is that they treat Godzilla as a natural unstoppable force rather than an enemy to be overcome.

Kaiju Notes 

- The baby Godzilla from part one is a chunky monkey in this one. Mah boi has big legs, big thighs, big chest, and big eyes. It looks much like Legendary Godzilla, being a little chonkier than most of the other versions.

- Godzilla's abilities have taken several levels in badass, including sending shockwaves with a flick of his tail and Atomic Breath which has evolved into something more akin to a sound cannon.

- Ghidorah being some sort of out-of-phase-of-time-and-space entity is a very great concept for the creature. Ghidorah has always been established as an alien and powerful entity, but the version we get here takes that aspect to 11 and it really works. The necks are also much longer than they've ever been, which is really only doable when the monster is not made using a suit, but am glad they decided to embrace what they could do.

So, the first thing to be said about this trilogy is that above all else they are truly sci-fi movies. We open in space, with aliens and advanced technology, and the kaiju are honestly minor elements in films that are primarily about exploring science fiction themes. The mystical religion of the Exif counterbalanced against the extreme logic of the Bilusaludo gives us "the two sides," and then we see the dangers in religion and technology in Ghidorah and MechaGodzilla, respectively. Combined with the other themes of nature's advance, the meaning of humanity, legacy, et cetera, this Planet Godzilla trilogy is really more a Future Planet featuring Godzilla trilogy. This isn't inherently a bad thing, but it does make it less interesting as a kaiju movie.

Let's talk about the kaiju in the sci-fi movie. Godzilla (and Ghidorah) is quite honestly just barely a character. Granted, this series is clearly going for the "force of nature" aspect of the character, especially when taking the ending into consideration, but it does become harder to really engage with any of the monsters in a series of movies that is named after one of those same monsters. In truth, MechaGodzilla doesn't even have a face and appears in one movie but is as much a character as Godzilla was throughout all three. Ghidorah gets an entire 5 minutes of screentime, so he too gets represented more as a force of nature. That, combined with how pretty much ever humanoid character dies, means that Sakaki is basically our only chance for emotional connection throughout. It's a bold choice, but honestly doesn't pay off in the end.

Sakaki is not a compelling main character. It really hurts the overall ability to enjoy these, because basically nothing that Sakaki does or says is interesting. He's like Forrest Gump in that every major event seems to revolve around him by some fluke of history, but he lacks the personality of Gump. Once we hit the third film and all of the other humanoid characters except Mephties and Sakaki are around, we basically lose any ability to really connect with anything going on. If one is super invested in Sakaki's genetic lineage, maybe it would work for them but I don't give a shit.

And that's really the conclusion of this series. While some elements are interesting and even fun, at the end of the day I found it really hard to get invested in this trilogy. I just can't really give a shit. I do appreciate some of the choices made (Ghidorah is pretty badass in this) and really embracing the sci-fi aspects of Godzilla movies, but the sci-fi movies they made around the kaiju just aren't awfully good. The 2nd one, City on the Edge of Battle, is the best one, by the way.

Next: Kong: Skull Island!

Colossal

Kaiju movies can be funny. Death Kappa tried it, Shin Godzilla had some undeniable intentional comedic themes, and now we have Colossal. A dark comedy directed by Nacho Vigalondo, Colossal is a "lite-kaiju" movie for reasons you'll understand as you read on. The stars of this one are not really kaiju actors (especially not in suits), but instead the very famous Anne Hathaway and Jason Sudeikis. Originally billing itself as "the cheapest Godzilla movie ever made" when it was shown at the Cannes Film Festival, Colossal is a story about a lot of things: the kaiju being more metaphor than character in a manner we have not ever seen in any movie we've covered yet.

This film does have some interesting drama behind the scenes... That promo line, "the cheapest Godzilla movie ever made," alongside using some unauthorized images of Godzilla to bring in potential investors actually got the film in a bit of trouble. Toho, the copyright owners/creators of Godzilla, did not take kindly to the producers using Godzilla to finance their upcoming film and filed a lawsuit before the film even began filming. The resutling settlement that took place before the movie was widely released which caused the film's setting (for the kaiju elements) to move from Tokyo to Seoul and a promise that no Godzilla derivatives would appear. The greatest irony of all? Colossal had a budget of $15 million dollars, which is tiny for an American studio release but obviously quite a bit to most people. The original Gojira had a budget of 100 million yen, the equivalent of about $3 million today. Even Shin Godzilla, released the same year as Colossal's film festival premiere, had a budget equivalent to $15 million, making the fact that Colossal got in trouble for using Godzilla's image in its early stages and the "cheapest" tagline completely unnecessary because it wasn't even true! Hilarious. That all said, let's talk about this dark comedy.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- In Seoul, South Korea, we see a giant monster appear. 25 years later, we meet Gloria as she comes home after yet another night drinking. Her boyfriend breaks up with her and packs her things, so Gloria has little choice but to return to her hometown alone.

- Once back in town she coincidentally comes across old acquaintance Oscar. He owns a bar (perfect!) and offers her a job.

- Oscar shows signs of who he really is right away when Gloria almost smooches one of his friends and Oscar reacts very strongly but frames it as concern for her sake.

- Waking up to the news of a giant monster randomly materializing in Seoul, stomping through the city, and then simply disappearing into thin air, Gloria is shocked. She drinks to cope, predictably.

- Waking up to Oscar showing up at her house to offer her a TV they apparently discussed last night but that she doesn't remember, there's been another monster attack. 

- This attack being less severe with the monster mostly standing around looking confused, Gloria notices that the creature shares a particular gesture with her. It seems crazy, but maybe they're connected?

- Gloria conducts a test that confirms she is in fact the monster. While hanging with her drinking buddies (including Oscar) she drunkenly reveals her new secret.

- After accidentally crashing a helicopter into her head (in her defense, it did shoot her first) Gloria gets overwhelmed and ends up falling down. She wakes up panicked to find out how many people she killed when she crashed, but this news comes secondary to the reveal that when Oscar enters the park he also emerges in Seoul as a giant robot.

- Gloria decides to make an attempt at amends by having someone translate some Korean characters and writes an apology in the ground at her next opportunity. She stops drinking, trying to be better given everything.

- Gloria makes a move on the cute guy in her friend group and wakes up in the morning with him to find that the Oscar-Robot is taunting Seoul with threats of destruction. She confronts him in the playground and even slaps him in the face to the cheers of everyone who thinks it's just two monsters fighting.

- Oscar begins to finally act out more obviously, using his power over Gloria as her boss and a threat to the people of Seoul to control her, constantly vacillating between apologetic/kind and abusive.

- During one of Oscar's episodes, Gloria remembers the incident that caused the kaiju connection, when they were hit by lightning inside the playground while carrying toys that look like their respective creatures. She realizes he's always been this way and confronts him just as the air raid warnings go off indicating the time to destroy or save Seoul is nearly upon us.

- The two have a fight in Gloria's house where she breaks all of her furniture trying to stop him, but he escapes and heads toward the park. They square up to fight in the park, but Oscar is bigger and stronger than her so takes her down easily. While she tries to get up, Oscar intentionally steps on several buildings while she begs him to stop.

- Saying he will do this every morning if she leaves, Gloria seems despondent until she comes up with a plan for the next morning. She flies to Seoul.

- When the air raid sirens go off, both parties prepare to confront the other. Gloria uses her human body in Seoul to manifest her monster body in the park, now able to handle Oscar quite easily since now she's bigger and stronger. She throws him into the horizon, finally bringing an end to his robotic reign of terror.

Kaiju Notes 

- Monster-Gloria is a pretty generic looking beast, resembling a goblin as much as it does any animal or human. Considering it's now really the point of the movie, it's difficult to really fault it for not being a complex design. It does have a relatively scary countenance, but it shows a degree of expressiveness that really helps Gloria's thoughts and intentions come across.

- Robot-Oscar is a little more intentionally designed, having a square head and a singular red eye surrounded by little robot horns. The singular red eye (and perhaps automaton-ness) help make it seem a bit menacing.

If it's not entirely obvious, and it should be, this is a metaphor about abusive relationships. Gloria really just goes from one to another, as her boyfriend in the beginning of the movie is clearly fed up with her alcoholism and antics but displays that same "fed-up-ness" even when she's in recovery and in a better position. Oscar, of course, isn't her boyfriend (and could only barely be called a friend by the time he starts acting out) but is the most obvious case of the abusive men Gloria has to deal with. Oscar is an abusive relationship that's primarily empowered by the kaiju connection he and Gloria share with the people of Seoul as his pawns. And it's not just Gloria caught in his tangled web of abuse, as his friends seem unable to do anything against him when either he acts out or turns against them directly.

Joel, the cute guy Gloria starts a little fling with, is the worst. He knows how Oscar behaves and the consequences of it and leaves Gloria to do all of the work in trying to prevent it. I have to assume there's some sort of reason behind why he does nothing and watches Gloria get beat up instead of just punching his so-called friend Oscar in the dick, but it definitely makes me hate him. He does watch happily the television when Gloria confronts him from Seoul, but he was the person most able to actually do something about the situation and it just infuriates me that he didn't.

Both of the lead actors are great. Gloria's growing confidence and subtle recovery comes across quite well, and Sudeikis is quite good at unpeeling the onion of Oscar's rage as we go, first seeming fairly normal before becoming more and more noticeably unhinged. Anne Hathaway in particular is putting in a lot of work by focusing her performance on her body language and expressions, not getting the chance to make the same monologues as Sudeikis but manages to show Gloria's raveling at the same time as Oscar's unraveling.

Colossal is not a complex film. Even this review (is that what I do here? Reviews?) is relatively short because there aren't GIANT COMPLEX IDEAS to be explored. Abusive relationships, metaphor, kaiju, go. Great performances. But Colossal doesn't need to be complicated: it's great. Do yourself a favor and check it out.

Next: Godzilla Trilogy (Netflix)!

Shin Godzilla

We've entered yet another era of Godzilla movies: Reiwa. And with it comes another reboot in what is likely to be another series of movies about our favorite giant nuclear lizard, this time called Shin Godzilla. Blog favorite Shinji Higuchi directs this one alongside another absolute legend (in a different medium) Hideaki Anno. Higuchi is most noted (on this blog) for being the mind behind the adored trilogy of Gamera movies in the 90s (and the recently covered Attack on Titan film), while Anno is a legend in the anime world for being the mind behind Neon Genesis Evangelion. With those powers combined, and the knowledge that Shin Godzilla was considered by the Japan Academy Film Prize Association to be the best Japanese film of 2016, I'm looking forward to seeing this one like I should have 6 years ago. 

Since we are in 2016, there is no proper suit actor for the Godzilla in this film. Mansai Nomura was, however, the motion capture artist so we must give him credit. Like the Godzilla of the Reiwa era, the method of portraying him has changed as well. I suppose it's only fitting. But let's stop with the preamble and get to see what Anno and Higuchi have come up with this time.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- Off the coast of Japan, an abandoned boat belonging to one Dr. Maki is found. While being investigated, it is destroyed and a flood happens in Tokyo Bay. Several other disasters occur and politicians gather to discuss their options and solutions.

- For quite some time, we watch public servants argue about what to do but actually decide (and do) very little.

- An enormous tail emerges from the sea, which confirms that the responsible party was some living thing. This prompts more arguments about the use of weapons on Japanese land or trying to capture the hitherto unknown creature alive for study.

- While more arguing happens, a horrible beast makes land and destroys part of Tokyo as it moves through the city. As a response to its environment, it seems to transform/evolve into a new form that at least has arms before returning to the sea. This is Godzilla and he's ugly as sin.

- The bureaucrats are now able to mostly agree on getting some sort of force ready to attack, so we watch more people in suits discuss the situation in closed door meetings.

- Despite finding out that Godzilla leaves radiation in its wake, the politicians begin to argue about whether evacuation is warranted (or legal) among many other things. They do ultimately settle on fighting back.

- Just in time, Godzilla returns to shore and now looks much more like the traditional version.

- Godzilla seems completely unharmed by an attack by the JSDF, so the US military aids with some special bombs that actually seem to do damage. 

- The bad news: Godzilla seems to evolve again, now able to breath fire before it focuses into a powerful laser/Atomic Breath, which he also launches from his dorsal plates. Godzilla destroys every bomber, plane, helicopter, and bomb nearby before also slicing damn near the entire city in half with this incredibly powerful Atomic Breath.

- With many of the politicians either dead or missing (unconfirmed) following Godzilla's attack, new leaders are needed while Godzilla simply stands dormant in the middle of the city.

- The US, allied with the UN, commands Japan that a thermonuclear strike will be performed when Godzilla reawakens. The Japanese politicians are almost universally against this, not only because Tokyo will be completely destroyed but also... agreeing to a nuclear strike in Japan.

- Some of the bureaucrats work toward developing an alternate plan, but it has to be absolutely surefire to keep the nuclear strike from happening.

- Using Dr. Maki's decoded notes, the Japanese develop a plan to completely freeze Godzilla to render him helpless. After prodding, the UN/US agrees to let them try this first, but the nuclear strike is the backup plan.

- The Deep Freeze plan goes into effect, forcing Godzilla awake and making him deplete his energy by fending off more missiles and planes. Once he seems tired, several explosives are destroyed which throw buildings on top of Godzilla. Lastly, a group of trucks pump blood coagulant down his throat in the hopes of freezing him.

- Despite the number of deaths this all costs, it ultimately works and Godzilla is no longer a threat but remains frozen in the city.

- Japan is threatened with an immediate nuclear strike if/when Godzilla awakens again, but for now they take pride in their victory over Godzilla.

Kaiju Notes 

- Godzilla, at least initially, is horrible. He's always supposed to be scary and/or intimidating, but his first form is honestly just horrific.

- Once in his "final form," Godzilla is very recognizable but has some significant differences. First off, this is the ugliest Godzilla of all time. His teeth are jagged, his arms are weirdly short, and the red/black aesthetic is just wicked looking. He does look quite powerful (outside of his tiny t-rex arms), but this version of Big G is not nearly as approachable as the older versions.

- Godzilla's new abilities are simultaneous ridiculous and awesome. Shooting lasers/Atomic Breath from his mouth and back and tail and whatever else they could think of is absolutely absurd but truly awe-inspiring when it happens. Godzilla is a true nightmare: always changing and evolving into something more dangerous and more unstoppable as the military throws more might at him. It's great to see in the rare moments Godzilla is on screen and active.

Here's one major note about this movie, this is the first movie since 1954 to do away with Gojira. This is the first (Japanese) Godzilla movie since the very first one where Godzilla had never appeared before. It's an interesting decision and a real marker that this Reiwa era of Godzilla is supposed to be different. And if you read that synopsis up above, you might have noticed that that is certainly true.

There is one major theme of this movie: how useless bureaucracy is, first and foremost. Watching people argue about whether weapons can be used against a giant creature because the rules say that weapons can only be used against an attacking nation of equivalent is damn near perfect scripting when it comes to demonstrating how the people in charge of the most important things are often incompetent at best. There are several funny scenes where the bureaucracy is shown in operation by having about 12 characters all repeat the same order or information in a series. It's effective at demonstrating how utterly dysfunctional it all is. The downside of this theme being hammered home is that much of the film is spent literally watching politicians and strategists argue while actually doing very little. It's effective at getting the point across, but it is not effective at being entertaining.

And that's truly the greatest sin of this movie: it's boring as shit. Quite honestly, it seems so wrapped up in proving its point (which it does do, to be fair) that it fails to make any of it interesting or fun. There are precious few moments that are actively funny, but they don't manage to make up for the constant droning that happens throughout. Combine that with the almost total lack of Godzilla and we've got a Godzilla movie which doesn't really work for me at all. Not a joke, at one point in the movie Godzilla literally freezes for about 30 minutes of runtime before reactivating for about 3-5 minutes before credits. It's honestly bizarre.

I feel like I have to be missing something, as this movie was quite popular when it came out. Both Japanese and non-Japanese reviewers love this thing while I am lost in the woods. I'm confused, but this blog is about saying what's in my heart and in my heart I hate this movie. And I'm so confused by what everyone else is seeing. I might have to watch it again sometime with the hope that I "get it," but I was pretty hyped for this so it's not like I went in with a sour mood.

But, since this movie is so good at themes, let's talk about one more: sacrifice. When this film isn't exploring the true horror of bureaucracy the human characters are dying over and over again. Not in vain, however, as many of the folks who die are doing it knowingly. To stop Godzilla requires sacrifice and so many squadrons of humans volunteer to put themselves in the line of fire and be destroyed so that the plan to take down Godzilla might have a chance of succeeding. Adding this to the hard position Japan is forced into by the UN forcing a nuclear strike on it and there is the shade of something really special here. It's just surrounded by so much plodding dialogue in stuffy rooms in stuffy suits that it really made it difficult for me to enjoy it, because even the more interesting bits near the end of the film are surrounded (and preceded) by raw fun-sucking boredom.

Welp, I'm disappointed. Let's press on and see what happens next.

Next: Colossal!

Attack on Titan (The Movie)

If you've heard anything about anime in the past 5 years, you've probably heard about Attack on Titan. Like most anime, Attack on Titan is based on an original manga/comic series of the same name. But this is a blog about movies, so let's talk about the director of Gamera: Guardian of the Universe (an awesome movie) made a movie based on a manga that is not the anime but at least related to it in that they're both based on the same thing. That director is Shinji Higuchi, whose work we previously discussed in the 90's Gamera trilogy. I consider this person one of the best kaiju movies directors in the biz, so here's to hoping he can replicate that quality with this adaptation.

As always, I want to credit the monster actors, but have been unable to find anyone credited as the Titans despite them clearly having at least some human element in their creation (likely human actors augmented with CGI. Word on the internet streets says I am correct). So instead we'll give credit to the 3 main "human" characters: Haruma Miura, Kiko Mizuhara, and Kanata Hongō star as Eren, Mikasa, and Armin (respectively).

There's not a whole lot to explain about the background of this one that wasn't done above, so let's see if Mr. Higuchi can repeat the quality of his previous forays into kaiju film! Fingers crossed.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- Over 100 years ago, the Titans appeared. Those who survived the Titan War have built 3 large walls around their city and stay safe inside them now.

- Our three main characters are Armin, Erin, and Mikasa. Eren is the main character and is a dreamer who just wants something besides living and dying inside the city's walls.

- The kids seek to escape from the city to go see the sea, and Eren casts doubt that Titans even exist as one hasn't been seen in over 100 years. As this happens they are caught by guards and Eren starts a fight. He is saved by Souda, an old acquaintance who prevents the guards from shooting him.

- Souda tells Eren of a scouting mission that will lead outside the walls and Eren gets excited. Before he can be too hype though, a tremor begins and the wall begins to shake. A giant, steaming Titan appears above them.

- This Colossal Titan breaks down the wall and it and many other Titans invade and begin to eat people. They are hit with cannons and many other weapons but simply regenerate their wounds, making them functionally unstoppable.

- Mikasa is separated from Eren and targeted by a Titan while trying to rescue a baby. Eren tries to make it outside to rescue her but is too late, but it does manage to save his life as the shelter he was previously in is torn apart by Titans and the occupants devoured.

- We next see Eren and Armin as member sof the military preparing for a plan to reclaim the lost part of the city (the farmland of Monzen). The military has developed a weapon to fight Titans: Omni-Directional Mobility Gear. This allows the user to moves in any direction and use swords to attack the nape of the Titans' neck, their only vulnerability.

- On their mission, Eren and his squadron are attacked by a Titan Baby, which is super fucking creepy, and several other Titans. The survivors, few of them that there are are, are saved by Captain Shikishima and Mikasa. Turns out she survived the invasion!

- Mikasa is (predictably) traumatized now, having barely survived her Titan attack when Captain Shikishima saved her from inside the jaws of the thing. She now lives only to kill Titans.

- As one of Eren's compatriots makes a very forward move on him by sticking his hand on her boob and asking him to be a father to her child, they are attacked by a Titan and she is eaten.

- Eren and his squad are now fighting an impossible battle against Titans, but at least have the aid of the incredibly skilled Shikishima and Mikasa.

- Eren eventually makes a final stand but ultimately has his leg bitten off. He falls onto a rooftop, alive but clearly unable to do much else for himself.

- Armin is next on the chopping block, being grabbed by a Titan near Eren and all of his companions being unable to prevent it. As Armin slides down the Titan's throat, Eren throws himself into the Titans' maw and launches Armin out. In return, of course, he ends up in the Titans' belly after losing an arm.

- Mikasa, low on the gas needed for her ODM Gear, goes for revenge against the Titans but (obviously) finds herself overwhelmed and helpless. Fortunately for her, another Titan literally bursts from the one that ate Eren, killing it (by pulling it's jaw apart).

- This is Eren, in Attack Titan form, and he proceeds the beat the living shit out of and kill all the other Titans. The sun comes up so the Titans retreat (they're nocturnal) and Eren is carved out of the Titan shell he was inhabiting.

- Having just been a Titan, Eren has regrown his arm and leg in his human form. So turns out Eren can become a Titan and fight back, which should really even the odds in the future. But that's the end of this first film.

Kaiju Notes 

- Titans are... horrifying. They are essentially giant, deformed, naked humans (with no genitals or nipples) who eat people but don't subsist on them. They all appear different sizes and shapes, but share the ability to regenerate from all wounds except being slashed across the nape of the neck..

- The Colossal Titan adds some pretty epic abilities on top of that, giving off absurd amounts of hear and being incredibly large compared to the others.

- The Attack Titan doesn't seem to have any unique abilities, but does at least have a distinct look. It does retain Eren's knowledge of how to kill Titans and fight, so it is a much more effective Titan than any of the other thus far seen.

This being a blog about kaiju movies, you might be surprised to learn that I am a nerd. This means that I have seen the anime this movie is based on. And with that anime based on the original manga, at the point of this film we're 2 adaptations deep. So, I know what comes from where and what's changed between the two "moving picture" versions. First and foremost, the characters are quite significantly different: simpler is the biggest change, but their personalities have shifted as well. I would say, quite honestly they're all three pretty boring. Especially Mikasa, who has gone from severe girl who is always the most badass person in any room she's in to... sidekick. Eren's changed from vengeance driven hardcore determinator to regular army grunt. And Armin has shifted from tactical genius to character who I genuinely don't remember being in the movie except when he almost gets eaten (like 3 times).

That's the downside. Here's the upside: pretty much everything else about it is pretty entertaining. This movie lacks depth of character, but of course it does it's adapting a much longer story into a bite-sized chunk. And that bite-sized chunk is actually pretty thoroughly entertaining. The overall impression of this movie is really more horror film than action movie, and that really contributes to the enjoyment factor. And now's the time where I say something controversial: this film as an introduction to the story is better than the actual beginning of the anime. Up to the point in the show where this movie ends: I'd watch the movie any day. I've seen enough to know that the show does pick up, but if I'm being perhaps too honest: the 1st season sucks and I have no idea why people were so into it. But this movie? Pretty entertaining. Lacks some depth of character, true, but that's not the worst sin when you're too busy being horrified/entertained.

Onto a specific point: the invasion scene near the beginning of the film is tremendously effective. The Titans appearing for the first time in these people's lifetimes and proving impervious to all of their weapons is a gripping sequence. The Titans kill indiscriminately and gleefully and the humans face some genuine horrors in their attempts to escape/survive. People's reactions vary, of course, but we see the range from panic to cooperation to acceptance of their fate to suicide. It's a pretty effective sequence when it comes to illustrating the raw terror of a Titan attack, and more explicit than anything we've seen in a kaiju movie thus far. Every Titan scene borders on horror movie territory, which honestly makes a lot of sense for movies about giant monsters but hasn't been done yet so far (probably because it'd be a huge downer). It is, honestly, a bit of an evolution in the genre. While the original Gojira was more akin to a horror movie than most of the ones which follows, Attack on Titan truly embraces it as the point, and it makes the Titan scenes quite disturbing throughout the entire film.

Overall, I liked this movie a lot more than I expected to. A movie adaptation of an anime which is an adaptation of a comic is usually a nightmare (see almost any anime movie made thus far), but Attack on Titan is genuinely entertaining, one could even argue good. The choice to make a horror-kaiju movie is a bold one, and pays off greatly. Showing the scale, danger, and consequences of kaiju battles has always been something I appreciated, but this one adds terror and dread to the equation and makes you I feel how terrible the situation is. It is likley not a coincidence that the director who managed to make the weight of kaiju battles feel real in his Gamera trilogy is also able to do the same here. The special effects are solid but not winning any awards, and the characters lack depth but do at least manage to not be actively annoying or dumb. One could argue that their lack of personality might be intentional to emphasize the lack of identity amongst both the monstrous Titans and their opposition the military, but that's stretching it. Probably just weak character writing. But Attack on Titan is a good choice if you're looking for entertainment value, distinct horror-tinge, or something relatively unique in the genre.

Next: Shin Godzilla

Godzilla (2014)

I mentioned in the previous post that we're doing mostly American movies for a while now, and here comes the second one: the first time in this semi-chronological blog that we've done two movies in a row from a country that is not Japan. The Godzilla film from 1998 was, for a time, the only American made Godzilla movie, but this changed in 2014 when director Gareth Edwards brought us Godzilla (2014). It's a proper remake, essentially creating a completely new timeline for the character, without even any real reference to the original Gojira. Origin stories can be tough, often because they can feel so unnecessary, so this will be a fun exploration of whether Godzilla even needs origin stories at this point.

We're dealing with CGI kaiju these days, so the stars of this show are primarily Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Ford and Ken Watanabe as Dr. Ishiro Serizawa. There's not a whole lot of background info to explore about this one except that it apparently took nearly 10 years to make and began as a short film. The producers, directors, and other creative minds on the film also apparently intended to replicate (but not copy) the look and feel of original Toho-created Godzilla. Rather than go for a "unique and new" American version of Godzilla (see Zilla), they intentionally built a Godzilla designed to resemble and blend into the Toho universe. I respect that. Last note: this MonsterVerse series, like Pacific Rim before it, is produced by Legendary Pictures.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- It's 1999, in the Phillipines, and main character Dr. Serizawa is investigating a collapsed cavern. Inside, they find the skeleton of some giant creature. Two parasitic spores are attached, one of which has already hatched.

- In Janjira, Japan, a nuclear reactor begins to meltdown. The family of dad Joe, mom Sandra, and child Ford are affected by this, primarily by Joe having to seal his wife inside the exploding reactor and watching her die (on his birthday!).

- 15 years later, Ford is a soldier who is called back to his former hometown of Janjira when his father is arrested after violating the permanent quarantine set up in Janjira.

- Ford and Joe are caught inside Janjira and arrested by Monarch, the organization Dr. Serizawa works for and apparently in charge of the quarantined area. Joe is ultimately proved correct when the cause of the nuclear reactor meltdown turns out to be the hatched spore from the first scene that has been feeding on the reactor for 15 years and now transforms into a giant monster they dub MUTO.

- As the MUTO destroys the facility in its escape, Joe is injured in the whole mess and dies. Ford is now left alone in Japan with his family in San Francisco. 

- The plot is explained to Ford: giant monsters including Godzilla exist in the world and the MUTO is just one such example. The MUTO was talking to something, which Monarch wants to find out and stop. If all goes particularly poorly, Godzilla will return to "restore order to nature."

- Spoilers: Godzilla comes back. After the MUTO makes a scene in Honolulu, Godzilla rises from the ocean and causes a tsunami. The two beasts argue very briefly before both leaving the area.

- Monarch tracks the monsters, Godzilla chasing after the MUTO after hearing its mating call. It turns out it is headed to Nevada after the other spore that was found in the original cavern. Despite being vivisected, analysed, and experimented on it appears that the other spore also survived and there is a second MUTO.

- Monarch is too late to do anything about it, and the second (larger, female) MUTO also hatches from her chrysalis and destroys Las Vegas as it heads toward its mate.

- After a plan by the military to destroy the 3 monsters off the western coast of the US fails (and only makes the MUTOs stronger), the 3 kaiju converge in San Francisco.

- With the warhead that was intended to kill the monsters being activated and now in San Francisco, Ford is sent in to help deactivate it before it destroys the entirety of the city his family is in.

- Ford attempts to get to and deactivate the warhead while Godzilla and the 2 MUTOs have a battle of the century. This is when the movie really gets online because we're here for motherfucking kaiju fights boi.

- While Godzilla is fighting both MUTOs and having a hard time of it, they are distracted when Ford and his team destroy the MUTO nest (and all of their eggs). This gives Godzilla an opening to finally unleash his Atomic Breath which briefly turns the tide before they unite against him again. 

- Godzilla smashes the male MUTO into a skyscraper, which kills the MUTO but also drops the entire building on top of himself, taking Godilla out alongside the smaller MUTO.

- With Godzilla downed, the female MUTO shifts her attention to the military, which she may or may not realize destroyed their nest. Ford and his team futilely attempt to fight back but almost everyone is killed when Ford finds himself face to face with the MUTO with nothing but a sidearm to defend himself.

- Fortunately for Ford, Godzilla rallies and sneak attacks, biting the MUTO on the neck before Atomic Breathing down its throat until its head detaches from its body. It's a badass move that is unique to this New American Godzilla.

- The next morning, Ford is rescued and Godzilla appears to have returned to land and died. As cleanup happens around him, Godzilla wakes up as Ford is reunited with his family. People are shocked Godzilla lives, but celebrate as he is given credit for saving the city.

- Godzilla roars in triumph as he heads back to the sea.

Kaiju Notes 

- Legendary Godzilla is a chunky little monkey and I love it. His feet are beautifully tender but thick as tree trunks, and he just looks somehow pissed off all the time but huggable. Most Godzillas in the past have had vaguely human proportions but this guy is built like a brick shithouse, all muscle and volume with no mind given to mobility. Lastly: Godzilla's roar is... awesome. It's not mimicry of anything Toho has used while also being something that seems respectful to it but unique to this version of the Big G. I am a very big fan of this Godzilla roar.

- The MUTO(s) is insect-like. It's not a particularly terrible design, but a bit uninteresting. With its sleek design, muted colors, and red visor-like eyes, it could also just be a robot and would look pretty much the same and give the same vibes. On the other hand, it is always nice to see a creature with an "unusual" number of appendages, whether that's Ghidorah's 3 heads or the MUTO's 8 limbs.

- The male MUTO is also much smaller than the female, being sleeker, smaller, and using the smaller size to have the ability to fly. He also has a very useful weapon in his EMP blast which he seems to have developed after absorbing nuclear radiation for 15 years. The female MUTO has a similar weapon, but more of a shield than a blast. It also appears to weaken Godzilla's Atomic Breath, somewhat crippling the Big G's greatest weapon.

- The female MUTO is big as hell, being nearly Godzilla's chunky size. She tremendous, like twice the size of the male, but lacks the wings (and therefore mobility) of her male counterpart. She also has an egg sac with dozens of prominent glowing eggs, so there's also the idea that far more than 2 MUTOs can be in the world if they're allowed to continue.

Godzilla is a somewhat complicated case. First things first: it's actually a solid movie. Downsides, however: it's pretty boring for the first 30-40 minutes. Until the first MUTO appears and especially once Godzilla appears, this is a movie weighed down by all of the exposition that has to be done to get it moving. I think this ultimately pays off, but mileage is definitely going to vary. Once the various kaiju appear things do pick up quite a bit and their scenes are all very cool, but before we see a big monster a part of me was thinking "can we do this already"?

But once the movie picks up? I think it's quite good. It's an excellent mesh of the human and monster stories, a balance which is always difficult to successfully navigate. Ford's journey to get home paralleled by Godzilla and the MUTOs battles is an effective storytelling choice that actually makes the human element a part of the story without being a complete distraction that pulls us away from what we actually care about. The last 40-50 minutes is fairly spectacular... spectacle, now focusing on the Godzilla vs MUTO action now that all the pieces are in place. There's no arbitrary wins or random coincidences that turn the tide of battle, and both Godzilla and the MUTOs appear dangerous to each other without having to make the other look weak. If kaiju battle is professional wrestling (and it is), this is a 4 star match easy. According to the director this is an intentional slow burn, and I believe it because it absolutely works for me, a true connoisseur of film.

One thing I appreciate about this movie is that the various monsters are forces of nature. No trying to understand the mind or humanity of Godzilla the Giant Lizard, or the MUTOs being remotely concerned about the impact their nest might have on San Francisco. MUTOs want to mate and possibly take over the world, Godzilla wants to stop and kill them. Easy to explain, easy to understand, easy to convey. When Godzilla first appears on land he literally floods an entire city, but this is entirely an accident or natural consequence of this big mofo coming out of the ocean. Even when the female MUTO wakes up and destroys all of Las Vegas, she doesn't actually target anything that's not immediately in her way. The wake of destruction behind her is a straight line: the monsters don't care about causing wanton destruction in either direction. This makes the monsters more like volcanoes than "characters," which is a characterization that I have always enjoyed and is typically lost more and more as the various kaiju series continue. Gojira Godzilla was this, but by Son of Godzilla he was somehow a loving father who just wanted to get along with humanity before shifting between his heroic and villainous personas as needed for the script. I love a giant monster that's just a giant monster.

I also enjoy that by the end of this movie the humans seem to understand the same thing as above. When Godzilla wakes up in the middle of a destroyed San Francisco he is actually cheered on by the people whose homes and businesses he helped destroy. It's not that they wanted him alive, most people would probably prefer that Godzilla died alongside the MUTOs he killed - it's better for property values at least. But he wasn't being malicious and he stopped the creatures that were more of an obvious threat: a tsunami that washed away the raging inferno. Both events are dreaded and horrible, but one is at least "helping" a situation it didn't cause. When Godzilla next appears on land people will flee, as they should, but at least they seem to realize that Godzilla is on their side, as much as a creature which doesn't run by the morality of humankind can be.

Godzilla is good. Which is good news, because this film is the beginning of the American MonsterVerse, with several connected films and sequels to come. If for some reason you can't bring yourself to watch foreign monster films, this would be an great place to begin a kaiju movie journey.

Next: Attack on Titan!

Pacific Rim

After the end of the Millennium series of Godzilla we have only had a few extra Japanese kaiju movies made. Around this time, American producers seemed to pick up some interest in giant monsters. So the next several movies we cover are primarily going to be American releases! Finally, the Americans have gotten on board with how awesome kaiju are. The first of these films we're going through is Pacific Rim, directed by the legendary Guillermo del Toro. It is also the 21st century, so the era of suit actors for the monsters is functionally completely over. Our monsters (and robots, in this case) are now CGI. We will talk about suit actors in more detail in a later post. But it is something I will miss.

Pacific Rim is a movie about robots fighting Kaiju, so we in lieu of suit actors for the creatures we now have lots of human characters as the pilots of the robots. The most prominent stars of this one are Charlie Hunnam as Raleigh Becket, Rinko Kikuchi is Mako Mori, Idris Elba as Stacker Pentecost, and Charlie Day as Dr. Newt Geiszler.

There's no significant background drama to this one. It's a movie that was made by an American studio helmed by a Mexican director taking place primarily in China. Del Toro has claimed that the theme of the movie is empathy and/or togetherness, so if that's not a perfect example of that I don't know what is. Let's go!

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- Some years ago, giant monsters (called Kaiju in the movie) came out of the ocean and destroyed several cities and killed many people before humanity built giant robots called Jaegers that could fight back.

- Main character Raleigh pilots Gipsy Danger with his brother, as all Jaegers are piloted by 2+ pilots. On a fateful mission fighting a Kaiju, his brother is killed when he's ripped out of the cockpit, but Raleigh somehow manages to survive and even finish off their foe.

- Retired from Kaiju fighting life, Raleigh is brought back to the ranks with the promise of one last mission which will end the Kaiju threat for good.

- The plan is to go to the source of the Breach, the interdimensional portal allowing Kaiju to come to Earth, and blow it up with a giant bomb. This is time critical as the Kaiju attacks are coming faster and faster each time and they are expecting a double event (multiple Kaiju in one day) within a week.

- Still needing a 2nd pilot, Raleigh holds tryouts with everyone before finding a bond with Mako Mori, the adopted daughter of the boss Stacker Pentecost.

- In a training exercise, Mako loses control and nearly destroys the control center with the plasma cannon. Proving Stacker's initial hesitance to let her pilot correct, she and Raleigh are grounded.

- Shortly thereafter, a Kaiju emerges from near Hong Kong. All of the remaining 3 Jaegers are deployed, with Gipsy Danger left behind.

- 2 of the remaining 3 Jaegers (and their pilots) are killed when the Kaiju surprises everyone with an ambush partner (a double event), which also lures the 3rd robot Striker Eureka into the battle, only to be completely disabled with an EMP weapon one of the kaiju has.

- Gipsy Danger, being the last option and completely analog (nuclear), finally joins the battle since no one else is available to stop the 2 remaining kaiju. It pretty handily fucks them up, though does get taken into (and falls out of) the stratosphere in the process.

- Back on the ground, one of the pilots of Striker Eureka has been injured and is unable to continue the fight. But Marshal Stacker Pentecost is going to be the 2nd pilot of Striker Eureka despite knowing that piloting another Jaeger is going to kill him (after a past incident).

- Once under the ocean and approaching the Breach, Gipsy Danger quickly loses an arm and Striker Eureka is almost completely disabled because now there are 3 Kaiju with which to do battle.

- Revising the plan to have Gispy Danger explode it's nuclear core inside the Breach, Striker Eureka lures the monsters in before setting off their own bomb (and, of course, dying) in an explosion so powerful that it literally displaces the ocean.

- Heading into the Breach, Raleigh evacuates Mako before riding Gipsy Danger through the entire wormhole and making it face to face with their alien invaders. He sets Gipsy Danger to explode before riding his own evac pod back to the surface. Gispy Danger explodes in a fancy light show.

- Barely surviving, and the only Jaeger pilots to survive this entire endeavor, Raleigh and Mako simply touch heads with no words necessary as they have now been in each other's brains for quite some time.

Kaiju Notes 

- The focus in this film is definitely the Jaegers over the Kaiju, quite different from most movies we cover on this blog. That said, the Jaegers are pretty cool. The Kaiju have clear design elements as well, but they tend to be grayish amalgamations of animals. Still clearly well-loved, but the focus is on the robots.

- (Almost) All of the Jaegers have cool shit in their design. Gipsy Danger has a sweetass turbine in its chest, Crimson Typhoon has three arms and is piloted by three brothers with spinning blades on each hand, Cherno Alpha is just a giant hulking beast, and Striker Eureka is... a pretty generic robot, but does have missile launchers hidden beneath it's chest plate.

- The Kaiju on the other hand, are pretty much just amalgamations of animals. There's a shark one, a gorilla looking guy, a fishy one, a crab-ish one. It's hard to make any particular assessments when the Kaiju are not the star of the show. They're more interesting in their abilities than in their appearance, and even those are pretty generic outside of the scene in Hong Kong where the Kaiju brought some interesting weapons to the table.

- The Jaegers, on the other hand, truly seem to use their robotic nature to its full advantage: hidden weapons and design elements that would never be "natural" all in the same creature. Gipsy Danger, for instance, has a rocket in the elbows to extra punching power, a plasma cannon built into each hand, and a kickass sword which can function as either solid blades or whips. It would make zero sense as part of a natural creature, but in robots it's the perfect combination of ingenuity and utility.

I love this movie. You'd think with a focus on robots rather than monsters that that might hurt my interest in the movie because I'm here for monsters not robots. Here's the dirty secret of this blog, don't tell anybody: robots are cooler than monsters. Who's my favorite kaiju? Gigan, a robot. If they made more films about robots (especially giant ones), this would be a blog about robot movies. So, Pacific Rim is great. It's not the most thematically dense or rich film, there's few important themes, it's not complex or leave you questioning. It's a movie about giant robots punching giant monsters in their giant faces, with the directorial excellence of Guillermo del Toro behind it. What more do you really need? It's not going to change the world, and it doesn't need to: it's baller.

That said, there's not a whole lot else to be said about it. I like it, it's nice. What else? ROBOTS COOL. What else?

Okay but I do have two things - the first is the film's biggest weakness. I feel like a we know enough about the pilots of Gipsy Danger and Striker Eureka to follow a general character arc for them. And the movie itself is relatively bleak, with only a few people surviving to the end. It seems that part of the message of this movie is truly "war is hell," and we do see that on a resource level but we don't feel it on an emotional one. When 2 of the 4 remaining Jaegers (and their crews) die in Hong Kong, we understand this is bad but we know nothing about the characters so it's difficult if not impossible to sympathize with them. I have seen this movie no less than 5 times in my life and could not even tell you the name of the pilots in either Cherno Alpha or the Crimson Typhoon. I know the Crimson Typhoon pilots are triplet brothers and I think the Cherno Alpha team are father and daughter, but they get absolutely no attention so when they die it really seems more like "aw damn that robot died' and not "aw damn those people died". Some sort of characterization or even knowing their names would potentially go a long way in making their deaths and the loss of more people on this mission to literally save the world hold more weight. Raleigh and Mako could have been avenging their lost compatriots rather than beating up big monsters because Kaiju are dangerous. Just a bit of wasted potential on the character front. It's not as though the robots themselves have any personality outside of the pilots, so it wasn't like there wasn't space for a few more personalities.

The only other significant thing I can think to mention is that Pacific Rim is a great example of subtlety in movie-making. The characters have thoughts and hope and dreams which are implied but largely left untouched, as things might happen in real life. Mako and Stacker being adopted family is basically never officially acknowledged, the grudging respect that the younger of the Striker Eureka pilots develops for Raleigh and Mako goes unmentioned, and Mako and Raleigh's apparent romance is left at apparent. These are just three examples, but all point to the same thing I'm going for here. It's impossible to do a movie like this without exposition, but if anything ever tried to pull it off it's Pacific Rim. This is something I really appreciate because 1) exposition and explaining every thought and feeling your characters have it boring and 2) it leaves room for interpretation. Does drifting with someone really show you every memory someone has? That seems... intense. Does Mako now have the memories of both Raleigh and his dead brother? How does Hercules feel about sending his son on a suicide mission? Why is everyone's name so damn strange? Lack of explanation, but I dig it!

Pacific Rim is dope and it does dope shit. End of. Watch it if you have literally any interest in either kaiju or robots (or both)!

Next: Godzilla (2014 film)!

Death Kappa

Death Kappa is a relatively rare item: a kaiju movie based on myth rather than an established franchise or completely original characters. Directed by Tomoo Haraguchi, this one also comes with a certain sense of humor built into its fabric, even the name. Going into this one, I know very little about it because when I was compiling a list of films to do for this blog I decided to choose this one based almost entirely on its name. In my defense, this was not a cultural landmark so a lot of information about it on the internet is pretty sparse. Let's get to it.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- Failed pop star/idol Kanako returns to her hometown to find it full of people with what seem to be radiation sickness. When she sees her grandmother for the first time in years, a group of rambunctious youths hit her with their car before driving off and knocking a statue of a kappa off a cliff into the sea.

- Kanako's grandmother, in her dying breaths, asks her to take care of thekKappa. This prompts Kanako to become the new guardian of the family shrine (unsurprisingly dedicated to a/the kappa).

- In the sea, the kappa statue awakens. Shortly thereafter, a creature attacks the youths who knocked the kappa statue it into the sea, who seem high as a kite.

- During the process of these multiple attacks, a man appears and kidnaps the girl in the group using a taser. He's creepy. Kanako also sees the kappa eating cucumbers (because kappas love cucumbers).

- The next day, some of Kanako's friends find her CDs and play them loudly. The kappa dances outside until they notice it. The group becomes friends with Kappa. At night, they are attacked and kidnapped by the creepy guy and his lady accomplice.
- Inside the lair of her kidnappers, Kanako finds herself surrounded by horrific artifacts and creatures, including ugly amphibuous creatures called Umihikos and a dessicated corpse in a wheelchair. 

- Umihikos were apparently created using cells of the Kappa during World War II as an attempt to turn Japanese soldiers into these amphibious super soldiers to turn the tide by invading America, but never managed to take hold because of how inhumane the project was. But this woman has continued her grandfather's research to create Umihikos, though it's not clear if she intends to take over the world.

- Threatened by the Umihikos, their creator, and her collaborators, Kappa shows up to protect Kanako. The Umihikos seem to stand some chance before Kanako destroys their control panel and paralyzes them. The scientist wields a machine gun and kills everyone and destroys everything except Kanako, as Kappa protects her using his turtle shell back.

- Upset, the scientist decides to unleash the atomic bomb she keeps in the lab, to destroy the lab and the entire village. I guess this... causes the Umihikos to fuse and grow to giant size and start ravaging the city? Either way, there's a giant monster now, called Hangyolas.

- The military confronts Hangyolas, managing to do damage but definitely not emerge victorious. Hangyolas breathes fire to destroy the tanks and planes before all of his foes run away in fear. 

- The military stands no chance, but good for everyone that Kappa was also mutated by the nuclear bomb and rises as the giant Death Kappa. He faces off with the Hangyolas, occasionally aided by the miltary delivering giant cucumbers to him.

- Death Kappa manages to make Hangyolas destroy himself, but then turns to destroying the city around him with his brand new mouth laser that he didn't use in the fight against the other giant monster.

- Kanako reappears, having somehow survived the literal nuclear explosion, and sweet talks Death Kappa into calming down and floating away into the sea.

Kaiju Notes 

- (Death) Kappa is based on the mythological kappa monster, as explained by the movie: a kind of ghoblin that inhabits rivers and ponds. With a plate on their heads and a turtle like shell on their back, they're expert swimmers and sumo wrestlers. The plate on their heads is also a weakness, and they love cucumbers.

- Kappa is fucking hideous. I'm not a big fan of killing things just cause they look weird, but I make an exception for kappas, apparently. This thing is a total abomination and its a sin to let it continue.

- The Umihikos are also quite ugly, but nowhere near as awful as Kappa. They're relatively nondescript, being humanoid looking but if you put their heads into a bloatfish. Boring.

- Hangyolas is the only monster in this movie that seems to have had any design put into it. It's not going to win any awards, but it's definitely not as atrocious as (Death) Kappa, and seems to be a semi-original idea since Kappa's appearance is really just modeled on the creatures of myth.

First things first: if that plot description above sounds particularly ridiculous: it is. This movie is clearly supposed to be funny. It's not. I regret choosing to watch this when I planned out all of the movies for this blog. This is the "Super Shark vs. KrakenOpolis" of Japanese cinema: a waste of time that no one tried with, and figured some tongue in cheek moments where military men call out for their mothers when they die at the hands of a giant monster would make up for the general shittiness of every other moment. As with the made up "Super Shark vs. KrakenOpolis", they are wrong. Maybe it's just me, but I genuinely don't enjoy things that suck on purpose. If a filmmaker or a writer or whatever is truly trying and just missing the mark, that can be entertaining and I can appreciate their heart (if not their work), but I don't see the point of just making disposable trash like Death Kappa.

There's not much else to say about this one. It sucks, but it sucks on purpose. It's not entertaining in its terribleness, and it's not trying hard enough to even care. Kappa is a horrific beast with no redeeming qualities. Kanako is barely a character. Let's forget this one happened.

Next: Pacific Rim!