Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Godzilla (2014) and Kong: Skull Island apparently did well enough to warrant a sequel, so we return to the MonsterVerse once more for Godzilla: King of the Monsters. With this film we finally see an American rendition of King Ghidorah, alongside Mothra and Rodan. Former Godzilla director Gareth Edwards was unavailable for this film, focusing on smaller projects. With Edwards not available and a new script being co-written by Michael Dougherty, he was also tapped to direct. Millie Bobby Brown debuts as one of the most important characters and Ken Watanabe returns as the one and only Dr. Serizawa. The production on this one isn't terribly dramatic or interested except that Legendary managed to get rights to Rodan, Mothra, and King Ghidorah for this film and so insisted they be in the film. The film also features what are essentially cameos from about a dozen other Titans, some of which seem to be version of classic Toho creatures while others are brand new to the mythos. But enough preamble, I have a lot to say about this one so let's get to saying it.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- Godzilla hasn't been seen in 5 years and the world is in flux following the most recent Godzilla incident (in 2014's Godzilla). Environmental disasters and civil unrest have followed.

- We meet the central family of mom Emma, dad Mark, and daughter Madison. Madison's brother died in the 2014 incident, which has caused a significant rift through the family.

- Living on a Monarch base, Emma and Madison witness the birth of Mothra. Emma uses her new device called the ORCA to harness bioacoustics to calm Mothra before she kills too many people. Just as she is calmed, terrorists attack the Monarch base and capture Emma and Madison as Mothra takes off.

- Monarch, and Dr. Serizawa, argue with the government about why Monarch should not fall under military jurisdiction and why the Titans should not be exterminated. Essentially, the argument is that the rise of the Titans is our fault and destroying them will cause more harm than good.

- Recruiting Mark to find his wife and child (and most importantly to Monarch, the ORCA), they find themselves headed to Antarctica where the ancient creature Monster Zero has been frozen in ice for thousands of years.

- Using explosives and finally the ORCA, Emma and the terrorists wake up Monster Zero/King Ghidorah just as Godzilla arrives looking for a fight. Mark witnesses this and is able to conclude that Emma is actually working with the terrorists rather than just being a simply hostage.

- Godzilla and Ghidorah are rival Alpha Titans, both hoping to assert dominance not only over each other but over most other (non-alpha) Titans so that their will can be done on Earth.

- Before the next phase of the plan, Emma reveals her motivations: saving the world. Humans have had their chance with the planet and they've fucked it up. So unleashing all of the Titans will allow the Earth's "immune system" to shake off the infection that is humanity.

- Ghidorah heads to Mexico where he awakens Rodan (called the Fire Demon by locals) to serve him. Godzilla arrives again to resume their fight in Antarctica and ends up destroying one of Ghidorah's heads before he is hit with the massive missile The Oxygen Destroyer by the US military. This stops Godzilla's heart but doesn't affect Ghidorah, who regenerates its missing head and establishes his reign over Earth.

- With Ghidorah the new King of the Titans (King Ghidorah), he summons all of the Titans of the Earth and they all wake up simultaneously. Unlike before, with Ghidorah having woken them up, they all go on a rampage rather than seeking any particular goal. Ghidorah (and the other Titans doing his bidding) now aim to exterminate humanity, not restore the planet.

- Mothra emerges from a cocoon in her proper Moth-ra form and attempts to heal Godzilla. Monarch comes up with a plan to explode a nuclear bomb on Godzilla in order to power him up and make him able to fight again as his healing process will take literal years on its own. Serizawa sacrifices himself to set off the nuke as the remote trigger was damaged in the process.

- Madison steals the ORCA from her mother and the terrorists to lure Ghidorah to Boston for a final chance at stopping the three-headed tyrant. After activating it, the attacks from all of the Titans across the world cease but Ghidorah comes to destroy the threat to his rule. 

- With Madison's parents headed to Boston to rescue her, Monarch, Godzilla, Mothra, and Rodan also arrive for a final battle royale for control of the planet.

- Godzilla saves Madison's life as Monrach and their military might support his efforts by distracting Ghidorah and trying to evacuate Madison and retrive the ORCA.

- Literally burning with nuclear power, Godzilla is empowered in a manner that's not been seen before but also about 10 minutes away from total nuclear meltdown. This gives us a ticking clock to evacuate all of the human characters before everyone dies when Godzilla explodes.

- Mothra and Rodan get involved in the battle, ultimately facing off against each other as the sidekicks of their respective Alpha Titans. Godzilla begins to lose the battle and is badly wounded by Ghidorah after being dropped to the Earth from the stratosphere. 

- At this point Mothra has taken down Rodan but at great cost to herself and now sacrifices herself to both protect Godzilla and transfer her healing energy to him in one final desperate play.

- Emma ultimately sacrifices herself to save Madison and Mark and manages to distract Ghidorah long enough for Godzilla to rally. He unleashes his nuclear energy in powerful waves which devastate Ghidorah (and everything else nearby), allowing him to finally rip each head off Ghidorah and ensure the alien finally stays dead.

- With Godzilla once again the King of the Monsters, the other Titans arrive in Boston and bow to him, marking the beginning of a new paradigm on Earth.

Kaiju Notes 

- Larval Mothra is definitely the most intimidating version we've ever seen, really harnessing the ugliness of insects in a way Mothra is rarely allowed. She's also, like many of the Titans in this series, almost entirely uninterested in humans, so larval Mothra is also deadly in a way we've rarely seen. It's a brief sequence but sets a fine tone for the rest of the film. Imago Mothra also embraces the insectoid nature of the creature and is probably the only redesign that I don't like as much as the original. Legendary Mothra lacks the distinct colors and beauty of Toho Mothra, still having striking colors in a pretty (literally) dark and muted film but bright blues and greens are nothing compared to the sparkles and oranges of Toho Mothra.

- King Ghidorah is on his king shit in this movie, looking honestly great. While I will likely never be an advocate for CGI over practical effects in all instances, Ghidorah is a creature which is benefited by being created by computers. His three heads actually fit on his body and don't have the same "fattening up" effect that it often did when Ghidorah was a physical suit worn by an actor. The three heads are also given personalities, something we didn't see much in older films. The left head seems to be the dumb one, the middle one the leader, and the right the most vicious. It's a trait of Ghidorah that should definitely be used more often. Lastly, Ghidorah's gravity beams have taken a level in badass. While the literal ability to manipulate gravity is extremely cool as we've seen in other films, these seem to simply atomize their victims. A very different effect, yes, but visually striking to be sure.

- Godzilla continues to be the chunky baby he was in Godzilla, though this time seeming just a touch more empathetic and understanding. He kills fewer humans than even Mothra, coming out looking more as a protector than punisher. Godzilla is physically smaller than Ghidorah in raw size, but is much stockier and powerfully built which allows the size differential to be intimidating without being a foregone conclusion of who will win.

- Rodan is, for the very first time in its history, cool. Adding an element of lava/fire to everything that is Rodan, it's been evolved from a giant bird dinosaur to a pissed off fireball in the sky. The whirlwinds it generates as it flies past folks are effective in demonstrating its raw power (and Rodan is supposed to be one of the weaker Titans!) and setting up stakes in the world. Rodan is awesome in this movie and no others, and the scene where it awakens is one of the coolest goddamn things I've ever seen. We love the Fire Demon Rodan on this blog and in my life. If Rodan was like this all the time he'd be a household name because who could resist such a genuine badass.

First let's talk about themes and start with the obvious: this film has a very clear environmental message. Like some Japanese Godzilla films, especially in recent years, Godzilla serves as a metaphor for the entire environment. This is no exception, but it expands the metaphor to essentially all Titans. Early in the film it is mentioned that huge numbers of fish are dying off and this seems to be a result of searching for the absent Godzilla, and Serizawa mentions that the Titans were only awoken in 2014 as a result of nuclear testing, strip mining, and other environmentally disastrous human actions. The Titans are functionally stand-ins for climate change, being unstoppable forces caused by the actions of humankind. Emma's plan to awaken the Titans is an extension of this: allowing the Titans (the Earth) to supplant humans as the dominant species of Earth and therefore save the planet. Many humans will die, sure, but the Earth and who remains will thrive under the new rule of Titans.

Extending the metaphor further, in this particular film Ghidorah and Godzilla seem to represent two extremes: cooperation and acceptance of Titans as natural elements of the world like hurricanes and earthquakes or conflict and the total destruction of human life. This is, of course, the Titans as representatives of our options to deal with climate change. Ignoring or exacerbating it seems to be the Ghidorah option, resulting in devastation for humanity. Trying to halt or even reverse the issue is the Godzilla choice, perhaps too late to turn back but at least we can continue to live in relative peace. The Godzilla hurricane may destroy a city here or there but at least it'll let everyone else live. When one thinks about it, it's honestly a pretty morbid outlook. On the other hand, any basic understanding of climate change leaves you basically only morbid outlooks (to various degrees). Unlike real life, at least this film seems to have (some) American cities suffering the steepest consequences alongside the rest of the globe.

Now that the metaphor is out of the way, let's talk about this movie. It rocks. This is one of my favorite films, period, period, period. As far as kaiju movies goes this is basically the movie all others should be modeled on. The human elements don't overwhelm the monster ones and tie in effectively, the monsters are all given independence and agency, and the action isn't relegated to just a few minutes near the end. When children play with their toys and bash all the various characters together, this is the movie they've created in their mind and it's spectacular. I have seen this movie no less than 10 times in the few years since it's been out and I love it every time. It's rad. Completely rad. If you have even the remotest interest in seeing a dope movie with giant monsters, this is the one because it's awesome.

The only weakness I would say this movie has is that a familiarity with the various monsters featured improves the movie and helps explain some of the weirder elements of it. Mothra being born a larva and then immediately cocooning herself until she emerges in her Imago form is an example of this, as without the knowledge/context of knowing that this is Mothra's life cycle one would likely be confused about these developments, especially as they mostly happen off-screen. As another example, Ghidorah's literal alien nature is touched on but never explored or properly acknowledged. It might be good to not focus on that in a movie which at least attempts to seem semi-realistic, but it also then becomes quite strange to mention at all without everyone in the audience knowing that Ghidorah has (almost) always been a violent alien creature so the reference to it being an alien is an homage to that legacy. As a kaiju movie fan I think it all works, but I have the context of all the previous films in the history of kaiju flicks to help me make sense of the stranger elements. Mileage will vary on whether any particular viewer would prefer more hand holding or appreciates the "world-building" of not being extremely specific.

To close, I reiterate my previous point. This movie rocks and you should see it. Full stop.

Next: Godzilla vs. Kong!

Godzilla Trilogy (Netflix)

We're talking anime now, baybee. While Attack on Titan was an adaptation of manga/anime, it was a live action film. So the first time we're talking about anime. In fact, this is our first animated film covered on this entire blog. This one is a bit complex as it is actually a trilogy of films rather than just one, but these are so closely connected that it felt weird giving a different post to each. When learning this existed I found myself confused about why it had never been done before: animation seems like the perfect medium for Godzilla (and all kaiju, really). So we're here to see if animation is indeed a good fit for the main man Big G, with a series of films directed by Kōbun Shizuno and Hiroyuki Seshita. This is going to be an extremely long synopsis since it is 3 films, so let's get to it!

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- Humanity has been away from planet Earth after being chased away by Godzilla, all of humankind living on a space colony alongside the alien races the Bilusaludo and Exif.

- The Exif are a religious species which worship an unnamed God and have advanced technology which allows them to glimpse the future, while the Bilusaludo are a hyper-logical and pragmatic species who have given up most of their culture and material comfort for the sake of accomplishing their goals.

- Main character Haruo Sakaki (human) desires nothing more than to return to Earth and kill Godzilla.

- With no viable options for another habitable planet, the Coalition decides to return to Earth but know they will have to contend with Godzilla. Upon arriving back on Earth, they discover they've been gone for 10,000 years due to relativity.

- Sakaki has developed a plan to kill Godzilla using EMPs, and it actually appears to work when they kill Godzilla shortly after making it back to Earth. They then realize that the Godzilla they've killed is basically Baby Godzilla, and the real one has no awakened again and kills nearly everyone on the planet.

- Sakaki swears revenge and is rescued by a group of humanoids who now live on Earth: the Houtua. The Houtua worship Mothra, and Sakaki's get involved with the Shobijin twins.

- The Houtua introduce the Coalition to nanometal, an incredibly advanced material created while developing MechaGodzilla and that can be shaped into functionally anything and they believe can be used to kill Godzilla once and for all.

- Despite being warned by the Houtua that the city is poison, the Coalition embraces the nanometal that has consumed a segment of the planet and dub this area MechaGodzilla City. They use the resources of the city to prepare to finish Godzilla.

- With the showdown with Godzilla impending, the Coalition is running out of time to finish their preparations and Sakaki learns that the Bilusaludo are fusing their bodies with the nanometal to serve as neural processors to increase the speed, efficienct, and power of the living city.

- Despite being told by the Bilusaludon commander that the process was strictly voluntary, when Godzilla wipes out most of their weaponry the commander orders the nanometal to forcibly absorb their remaining troops to make one final offensive and is guaranteed to work.

- Sakaki, having had his injuries treated by the Houtua and therefore immune to the nanometal (if he wants to be), makes the hard decision to destroy MechaGodzilla City rather than kill Godzilla, as the city itself would continue to absorb the rest of the planet after finishing the current task.

- While Sakaki's fate is being considered by his superiors, he is being treated as both hero and villain by the Coalition while he has taken refuge with a group of Exif led by the priest Mephties. 

- The remaining Bilusaludo functionally force the Coalition's hand, and remove their resources from the greater unit to demand that Sakaki is punished or even executed for destroying MechaGodzilla City.

- The Houtua have a philosophy that making life is "winning" and dying or disappearing is "losing," so the Shobijin twins offer to mate with Sakaki (on separate occasions, don't be weird) to ensure that he "wins" by continuing into the future. He eventually accepts one of their offers.

- The God of the Exif is revealed to be Ghidorah, who consumes almost all of the Exif as he manifests through an amulet in Mephties' eye.

- Unbound by the rules of physical reality, Ghidorah lays waste to Godzilla while remaining completely invulnerable to all weapons either human or kaiju.

- Sakaki is told he is key to the Exif's plan, who worship Ghidorah because of his unbridled and unstoppable power: Sakaki's hatred of Godzilla will be an anchor for Ghidorah to take permanent hold in this universe, allowing his destruction to be unimpending and no longer requiring summoning rituals.

- WIth the help of the Shobijin and some others, Sakaki decides to fight back and shatters the amulet in Mephties' eye, now binding Ghidorah to the physics of this universe and allowing Godzilla to fight back.

- Godzilla kills Ghidorah relatively easily and Sakaki, told that Ghidorah would be watching him as long as he lives, decides to provoke Godzilla into killing him so that Ghidorah will not be able to take hold in the world using Sakaki ever again, as he cannot give up his hatred of Godzilla.

- With both the Bilusaludo and Exif now extinct as a result of Ghidorah's actions, Humans and the Houtua live together happily on Earth, with Sakaki's descendants being among them. The difference is that they treat Godzilla as a natural unstoppable force rather than an enemy to be overcome.

Kaiju Notes 

- The baby Godzilla from part one is a chunky monkey in this one. Mah boi has big legs, big thighs, big chest, and big eyes. It looks much like Legendary Godzilla, being a little chonkier than most of the other versions.

- Godzilla's abilities have taken several levels in badass, including sending shockwaves with a flick of his tail and Atomic Breath which has evolved into something more akin to a sound cannon.

- Ghidorah being some sort of out-of-phase-of-time-and-space entity is a very great concept for the creature. Ghidorah has always been established as an alien and powerful entity, but the version we get here takes that aspect to 11 and it really works. The necks are also much longer than they've ever been, which is really only doable when the monster is not made using a suit, but am glad they decided to embrace what they could do.

So, the first thing to be said about this trilogy is that above all else they are truly sci-fi movies. We open in space, with aliens and advanced technology, and the kaiju are honestly minor elements in films that are primarily about exploring science fiction themes. The mystical religion of the Exif counterbalanced against the extreme logic of the Bilusaludo gives us "the two sides," and then we see the dangers in religion and technology in Ghidorah and MechaGodzilla, respectively. Combined with the other themes of nature's advance, the meaning of humanity, legacy, et cetera, this Planet Godzilla trilogy is really more a Future Planet featuring Godzilla trilogy. This isn't inherently a bad thing, but it does make it less interesting as a kaiju movie.

Let's talk about the kaiju in the sci-fi movie. Godzilla (and Ghidorah) is quite honestly just barely a character. Granted, this series is clearly going for the "force of nature" aspect of the character, especially when taking the ending into consideration, but it does become harder to really engage with any of the monsters in a series of movies that is named after one of those same monsters. In truth, MechaGodzilla doesn't even have a face and appears in one movie but is as much a character as Godzilla was throughout all three. Ghidorah gets an entire 5 minutes of screentime, so he too gets represented more as a force of nature. That, combined with how pretty much ever humanoid character dies, means that Sakaki is basically our only chance for emotional connection throughout. It's a bold choice, but honestly doesn't pay off in the end.

Sakaki is not a compelling main character. It really hurts the overall ability to enjoy these, because basically nothing that Sakaki does or says is interesting. He's like Forrest Gump in that every major event seems to revolve around him by some fluke of history, but he lacks the personality of Gump. Once we hit the third film and all of the other humanoid characters except Mephties and Sakaki are around, we basically lose any ability to really connect with anything going on. If one is super invested in Sakaki's genetic lineage, maybe it would work for them but I don't give a shit.

And that's really the conclusion of this series. While some elements are interesting and even fun, at the end of the day I found it really hard to get invested in this trilogy. I just can't really give a shit. I do appreciate some of the choices made (Ghidorah is pretty badass in this) and really embracing the sci-fi aspects of Godzilla movies, but the sci-fi movies they made around the kaiju just aren't awfully good. The 2nd one, City on the Edge of Battle, is the best one, by the way.

Next: Kong: Skull Island!

Godzilla: Final Wars

We're in the endgame now, with the Milliennium series almost concluded. Godzilla is taking another hiatus, and this time Toho decided to throw a party beforehand. Instead of ending with a whimper like 1974's Terror of Mechagodzilla, or advertising the killing off of the main man Big G like 1995's Godzilla vs. Destoroyah, Godzilla: Final Wars is a celebration of 50 years of Godzilla history while allowing the giant lizard to take a well-deserved break. To add to this celebration of Godzilla in his 50th year, he also received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame just before the premiere of this film.

If you're not aware, this movie features a cavalcade of kaiju from Godzilla's history including at least one whom we've never discussed because it first appeared in a movie we've never covered on this blog (not a Godzilla movie). Tsutomu Kitagawa finishes his role as Millennium era Godzilla, but we've also got Naoko Kamio as both Rodan and Minilla, Kazuhiro Yoshida as Gigan and Hedorah, Toshihiro Ogura as Anguirus and Ebirah, and Motokuni Nakagawa pulling triple duty as Monster X, King Caesar, and Keizer Ghidorah. We've also got Kamacuras, Kumonga, Manda, Mothra, and American Godzilla (officially named Zilla by Toho in this film) to look forward to. I'm possibly forgetting someone, but with all these kaiju in one movie it's an understandable lapse in memory I think. Those other kaiju don't get suit actors listed because they are either CGI creatures or puppets.

Alright, enough build up: Godzilla's awesome we get it. Let's talk about the Final War, and watch Godzilla kick a kaiju-ton of kaiju-ass.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- Due to various environmental disasters, kaiju have been arising from the Earth for 60+ years. Humanity has stopped fighting wars with one another and are now united against these monsters as the Earth Defense Force (EDF). Superpowered mutant humans began to appear in the world around the same time as the kaiju, and are part of the EDF as Organization M.

- In the context of this film, most kaiju we've seen throughout Godzilla movies have already appeared and been defeated by the EDF, including Godzilla who was frozen solid in Antartica some time ago.

- The Gotengo, one of the EDFs super weapons which is a flying submarine with a drill on the front which can be used to kill kaiju, is crewed by (among others) mutant Ozaki and normal human Captain Gordon. These are our important human characters.

- Protecting an important biologist (a boring job), Ozaki comes across Gigan, encased in stone. Shortly after this, Rodan destroys some city in the US, and monsters begin to appear all around the world. King Caesar in Japan, Zilla in Australia, Anguirus in Shanghai, and Kamacuras in France.

- The EDF attempts to take the kaiju down, but with so many monster to fight on so many fronts, they are overwhelmed. Ebirah the giant lobster is taken down by Ozaki and his team, however.

- The monsters are captured by a UFO containing the Xiliens, who reveal themselves to humans and pledge their allyship. They warn that a planet is coming to crash into the Earth and will destroy it, but they can help.

- The Xiliens become famous and revered, especially the 2nd in command "X," who appears in various media and is quite popular. There is some controversy over them however and Ozaki agrees, finding it unlikely that right after finding out Gigan is an alien cyborg monster that "different" aliens appear.

- Realizing that several prominent politicians are behaving somewhat suspiciously, Ozaki and his friends publicly reveal that the Xiliens have been impersonating some (all?) of the leaders of Earth.

- Pissed off that the ruse has been exposed, X kills the commander of the Xiliens and assumes control. Having captured the kaiju in their UFO before, X releases them again to assert control over the Earth. Using his Xilien powers, he's also able to assume control of all of the mutants except Ozaki, so now almost all mutants and kaiju are under his command.

- Almost all of the EDF is destroyed by the kaiju, leaving only the Gotengo and it's crew available, and even that ship couldn't possibly take down all these monsters. Fortunately, they come up a plan: Godzilla.

- Being the most powerful of the kaiju according to Captain Douglas, Godzilla is not currently under the control of the Xiliens and can thus be used to fight them. They're going to use his aggressiveness to lure it toward all of the other monsters and take them down. After that, how do they then defeat Godzilla? They'll figure it out later!

- Godzilla wakes as the Gotengo is confronted by Gigan, and quickly destroys the cyborg before beginning to chase the ship. Now the drama begins, and punk rock tunes kick in to tell us it's kaiju time.

- For the remainder of this movie, Godzilla kicks the ass of every monster he comes across in relatively short order and it's entirely awesome.

- Having captured the human crew of the Gotengo and lost all of his kaiju weapons, X summons his final attack: a giant meteor from space. Godzilla sees this coming and Atomic Breath's it so hard that it lands in a gigantic explosion but doesn't harm him. From inside launches the dreadful Monster X.

- Mothra, having been awoken a few minutes before, arrives to back up Godzilla as he does have some difficulty with Monster X. X sends the updated Gigan to fight Mothra, to keep things fair.

- Ozaki is revealed to be immune to the Xilien's control because he is a special mutant known as a keizer (just like X). While the kaiju fight it out nearby, Ozaki and X also engage in super-mutant battle onboard the ship.

- Mothra takes down Gigan by using his own weapons against him so that he slices off his own head, and then (having been set on fire by its laser) crashing into him in a final kamikaze attack. Mothra dies as she always does, but Gigan goes down.

- When X dies after being defeated by Ozaki, he causes the Xilien ship to delf-destruct as well. This causes a frantic escape and Ozaki only barely makes it back to the Gotengo before explosion.

- Monster X, defeated by Godzilla, evolves into its strongest form: Keizer Ghidorah. It's head expand to necks and it changes color to the familiar gold of King Ghidorah. He mollywops Godzilla for quite a while before clamping down on Godzilla's neck and beginning to absorb his energy.

- Godzilla losing the battle, Ozaki takes control of the Gotengo and uses his own keizer energy to fuel Godzilla. This causes KG to release Big G, and Godzilla turns the tide as he rips the extra heads off of Keizer Ghidorah before throwing him into the air and Atomic Breathing him into space where he explodes.

- Showing no loyalty, Godzilla turns around and knocks the Gotengo out of the sky. The crew survives, but the ship is out of commission.

- As Godzilla approaches the Gotengo to fully destroy it, the tiny Minilla appears to stop him and stands between the humans and Godzilla. Godzilla concedes the point and heads off to the sea with Minilla behind him. The end of an era. The Millennium era.

Kaiju Notes 

- Gigan has gotten a wild new update, being a new robot built for the 21st century. And while it's definitely more in line with modern aesthetic and looks quite chic, I have to confess to really enjoying the chicken-boy version of the past. I'll take both, though, because Nu-Gigan is badass in a whole OG-Gigan wasn't.

- Some of the other kaiju, even those who appear for only a few moments, have some upgrades. Kamacuras now has camouflage abilities and Anguirus can now roll into a spiked ball and launch himself into his enemies, for instance.

- This movie introduces very little "new" kaiju into it, so most of the kaiju information here is mostly relatively small changes or additions to update the creatures but with so little time to focus on any individual monster these are brief glimpses.

- Godzilla, at one point, throws Ebirah into Hedorah's eye and then Atomic Breaths them both so hard that the crash into a skyscraper and slide it into another, larger skyscraper before everything explodes. what

- Monster X is the closest thing to a new creature we get, and it's really just King Ghidorah but compact and gray instead of gold. It's a very edgy design, much like the upgraded Gigan, but not bad by any means. The three heads being compacted onto one small body makes a lot of sense to me as a more efficient design, and the "triple face" look actually seems more fearsome than the "triple head" of traditional King Ghidorah.

- Keizer Ghidorah's Gravity Beams, which we've always called them, now actually seem to have an effect on gravity. When hit with them, Godzilla actually lifts into the air and KG can manipulate him (and objects around him) by using his gravity beams.

The direction in this movie is a bit strange, but enjoyable. Actions scenes, especially for the humans/mutants, are often quick streaks across the screen punctuated by smaller moments of clarity. It's hard to explain, but it's a very dynamic way to shoot a film. It can be a bit disorienting at times, but it definitely tries to make the action sequences thrilling. That combined with the "very little time for your bullshit exposition" quality the movie has means that if you're here for an action movie you've got plenty to keep you focused. The human action pieces are probably more dynamic than they've ever been, but they're still weirdly distracting yet somehow entertaining in their own campy way. It's a very interesting quality of the film, as I truly can't decide whether I like them or hate them.

The man who plays X is potentially my favorite actor of all time. I love this man's over the top performance and have no other notes. He screams and tantrums with the best of them and his wild mood swings add an element of ridiculousness and entertainment to what could be an entirely flat character. That and actually being an interesting humanoid antagonist for once makes X one of the best Godzilla characters ever, quite honestly. We like X round these parts, he's the best.

So, this movie is overall pretty much exactly what some people want out of a Godzilla movie: monsters action. Rather than spend all of 2 hours having two monsters go back and forth, this is a gauntlet match with Godzilla tearing through his foes in ways we've never seen before. Alongside the human story which is... odd, but definitely not as boring as most, and you've got a movie which is nothing if not entertaining. There's no message, no metaphor, no hidden meanings here. Just Godzilla and mutants versus monsters and aliens. It's as delightful as it is shallow, but mileage is going to vary and whether it works for any particular viewer. Personally, this is one of my favorite Big G movies, but simultaneously not one I would consider "great." I would, however, definitely recommend one watch it, and see how it works for you!

Next: D-War!

Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack

We're making history here, fellas. With the longest title in the Godzilla series, there is also another distinction in this film, but we'll get there. Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (or GMK from here on out) is another in the Millennium series but is also distinguished in that it's also one of the few Godzilla movies that fully embraces the supernatural. If you want to know exactly how, you'll have to read the synopsis! But let's talk about one other interesting facet of the movie: the titular monsters are all in a melee, but it is not the three-way fight one might expect. King Ghidorah is actually a heroic kaiju in this one, for the first time ever ole KG is one of the good guys. It's honestly a bit strange to consider, but here it is in all its glory. Mothra does remain on the side of the good guys, so she teams up with King Ghidorah (and one other monster) to try to bring down Godzilla in GMK.

Shusuke Kaneko directs, returning to kaiju movies after making the excellent Gamera trilogy in the mid 90's. Mizuho Yoshida retains his position as Millennium Godzilla, and Akira Ohashi is King Ghidorah. But the best credit goes to Rie Ota as Baragon, in the greatest performance of all time. Period. We love Rie Ota on this blog and in this life, end of. Let's talk about GMK.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- An American nuclear submarine has gone missing. While searching for it, the fun of a giant creature which resembles Godzilla is caught on camera. In this continuity, Godzilla has not been seen (officially) since 1954. While some sightings have been suspected, there's been no major attacks.

- A while later, Baragon appears on land and attacks. Many people assume this to be Godzilla's return, but we will discover this is not the case.

- A filmmaker/documentarian named Yuri Tachibana is our main human character, and she is given a book about the Guardian Monsters. These are Mothra, Baragon, and King Ghidorah.

- Elsewhere, a Mothra larva is woken up and kills several people when it capsizes their boat.

- Given a clue while investigating Mothra's awakening, Tachibana and her crew head to the supposed location of King Ghidorah. They find a mysterious stone and told that Godzilla is on its way to destroy Japan as punishment: Godzilla being either the manifestation of or fuelled by people who died during World War II, including soldiers, civilians, and .

- A man who was preparing to hang himself falls into King Ghidorah's cave, bringing all of our kaiju players into the story.

- As the human characters debate exactly what's happening and whether they believe the fairy tale of Godzilla being the manifestation of casualties of WWII and the Guardian Monsters awakening to fight him off, Baragon destroys the building they are in.

- While Baragon is initially mistaken for Godzilla, the true Godzilla appears on the nearby coast. The two monsters must now do battle.

- Baragon clamps down on Godzilla's arm and is simply tossed around due to his small size in comparison. After throwing Baragon to the ground, Godzilla simply stomps Baragon out and continues throwing him around the area before ending the fight with an Atomic Breath attack. This was not even close.

- With one of the Guardian Monsters dead and Godzilla destroying the country and the JSDF, Ghidorah and (Imago) Mothra return to the scene, finally fully emerging from their hiding places.

- Tachibana, always been closest to the developing story, warns the JSDF (and father, an admiral in the JSDF) to not attack Mothra or Ghidorah as they are actually allies of humanity.

- Mothra arrives, and attacks, first. Her speed proves to be a decisive factor and Godzilla can't make full contact.

- As Mothra gains an advantage by attacking Godzilla's neck and head, Ghidorah joins the fray and uses his three heads to bite at Godzilla and deliver Gravity Beams to his body. Unfortunately for him, having three necks means he has triple the targets and Godzilla clamps down on him.

- Ghidorah is defeated relatively quickly, Godzilla biting his neck and weakening him before aiming Atomic Breath at him for the finish. Fortunately, or unfortunately since she's been way more effective thus far, Mothra intercepts the beam and takes the hit for Ghidorah.

- While the Guardian Monsters recover, Godzilla is attacked by the JSDF and wipes them out too. Mothra attempts to sneak up on Godzilla and deliver some devastating attack but receives a point blank atomic blast for her troubles. She explodes into a golden mist which rains down on Ghidorah.

- Ghidorah, empowered by Mothra's sacrifice, rises from the ground and becomes 1000-Year Old Dragon Ghidorah, a powered up version of regular Ghidorah (with extra golden color!). He overpowers Godzilla in a Battle of the Blasts.

- Taking the battle into the water, Ghidorah seems to be winning. To take advantage of this opportunity, Tachibana's father plans to pilot a submarine to destroy Godzilla, expecting to die in the process despite his promise to Tachibana to return home.

- Reporting on the events as they happen, Tachibana falls off a bridge after it's destroyed as collateral damage of the kaiju battle.

- The submarine nearly manages to hit Godzilla with their special missile, but the Big G is clever and instead turns so Ghidorah take the impact. When it flinches, he Atomic Breaths Ghidorah and knocks him out.

- Tachibana, close to the battle and falling from a bridge, drops the stone she found earlier into the sea where Ghidorah is and Ghidorah is revived once more. Now on his 3rd chance, he takes flight while Godzilla stays in the water.

- This doesn't work, and Ghidorah is once again hit with Atomic Breath, this time full exploding so there's no more question about whether he's going to come back.

- The spirits of the Guardian Monsters linger in the air and seem to make one last (spiritual) attack against Godzilla which sends him underwater. Admiral Tachibana seizes the chance to pilot his submarine into the throat of Godzilla.

- Seeing a vision of his daughter encouraging him not to let Godzilla win, the Admiral launches the special missile into Godzilla's open wound. It slows him down but doesn't prevent him from gathering his Atomic Breath to laser the nearby (younger) Tachibana to death.

- Fortunately for both Tachibana's the gaping wound means that Godzilla's atomic power instead rips through him and destroys his body. Godzilla is finally dead, and Admiral Tachibana pilots his submarine back to the surface.

- Everyone celebrates, but as a final shot we see foreboding image of the still beating heart of Godzilla at the bottom of the sea.

Kaiju Notes

- Baragon is the cutest, bestest boy. While he's in this movie only very briefly, he's got beautiful floppy ears, a cool horn, and coloring we don't often get to say (reddish). He has no real powers worth mentioning considering how quickly he got his ass whipped, but we stan Baragon on this blog. His roar is a bit shrill but distinct. It's got nothing on what will always be his true roar: Rie Ota.

- Godzilla's appearance has changed somewhat from the previous Millennium films, and he is more menacing this time. His teeth are less jagged, his dorsal fins seem less pronounced and more orderly, and his eyes are all white at all times which gives him an aura of being possessed. While every element is actually less "wild" than his previous incarnation, this actually makes it seem like Godzilla is more designed for maximum efficiency rather than a wild animal. His Atomic Breath also causes mushroom clouds to longer where he uses it, really driving home the World War II connection.

- Mothra has been given longer legs and purple eyes, but otherwise looks very similar to every other Mothra design we've ever seen. She also looks more realistic than she ever has, the previous Mothra puppets having a certain "stuffed animal" feel to them.

- Ghidorah's necks have been shortened, which probably makes the suit much easier to manipulate. The golden color is muted because his only scenes are at night, but when the light catches it just right it looks quite good. 1000 Year Old Dragon Ghidorah gains fangs and some extra golden glow, but otherwise looks about the same as always.

Early on after the monsters begin to appear, there is a moment where, after Godzilla uses his Atomic Breath, a Japanese school teacher sees a mushroom cloud in the sky after a brief flash of light. Especially given Godzilla's origin story being directly tied to World War II, it's a genuinely affecting moment. The movie does not linger or dwell on this instance, but that is perhaps what makes it worse (and more effective). In perhaps a meta-commentary on it, whether intentional or not, the Japanese don't have the luxury of dwelling on the situation.

In one hilarious moment the military is watching the battle from a skyscraper which Mothra has used as a base from which to launch attacks. When she returns to the building at one point, Godzilla is trying to Atomic Breath her and we watch the soldiers inside realize they're about to explode as Mothra flies straight toward them before shooting up to the top of the building. If we didn't know better, we'd have to assume she did it on purpose because she hates soldiers. She might!

On the previous point, while I found that one example somewhat amusing, this film does a better job than many in the series of establishing the consequences of Godzilla's various battles. Rubble falls onto people, occupied buildings are destroyed, and people get caught in the crossfire while the kaiju battle it out. It's a small but underused element, in my opinion, in kaiju movies in general. Dwelling on the deaths of humans isn't really the goal, but making sure the audience can feel that these events are truly significant for more than just property damage makes the movies seem more relatable to me. It's the same effect as "kaiju destroys tanks and ships" versus "actually watching people react to their impending doom". It hits very different.

Godzilla is the literal manifestation of the casualties of World War II, apparently attacking Japan particularly because of their refusal to account for their own crimes during the war. It's an oddly pointed metaphor for Godzilla to embody when kaiju movies which bother with metaphors at all often go with the environmental or anti-nuclear message, but now we have the physical embodiment of the sins of war (both committed on and by the Japanese). It's not really clear whether that means Godzilla is supposed to be a consequence of mankind's fondness for violence or a simple monstrous representation of it, but the undying heart of Godzilla at the end somewhat implies the latter. It's also the first example of Godzilla's origin story being explicitly supernatural, and one of the relatively few Godzilla films to embrace supernatural elements entirely. It's what make me think that while this Godzilla is the casualties of WWII, the idea behind this one is that there will always be a Godzilla, even if it's the physical form of some different aspect of the horrors of humanity.

GMK is a mixed bag. The story and all of the elements truly do work. Even King Ghidorah, somehow, make a decent hero. Godzilla comes off as a truly unstoppable force, killing all of his kaiju enemies off either easily or multiple times. While Baragon is adorable and deserves better, crushing the cutie so ruthlessly makes Godzilla meaner and harsher. And anyone with experience in Godzilla movies knows that King Ghidorah is typically quite threatening, so watching his get killed by Godzilla on multiple occasions is like seeing the Undertaker lose at Wrestlemania. The story of the two Tachibana's is effective and blends nicely into the rest of the film, never overtaking or undermining the kaiju story. The only true downside is that the Guardian Monsters looks incompetent throughout and it becomes much harder to believe they have any chance at all as the movie continues. In fact, they really don't succeed at all, Godzilla ultimately being killed by the combination of a human weapon and his own immense power. And, as an aside, in a 50 year old series of movies about a cool and often heroic Godzilla, it's a little bit difficult to root against him. Seeing him beat the brakes off of King Ghidorah is oddly and viscerally satisfying even though we know we're supposed to be on the other side. It doesn't damage the movie in any significant way and remains quite fun throughout, but the behind the scenes decisions behind this one make it just a little harder to get behind than it could have or should have been. Definitely worth a watch, though!

Next: Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla!

Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah

We're on a bit of a Godzilla kick recently, mostly because this blog is done in almost chronological order and no other kaiju movies were being made in this timeframe. The good news is the last couple have been quite good, so hopefully we've got something to look forward to with Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah. With the production crew staying almost entirely the same, Kazuki Ōmori is once again the writer and director with Big G once again being played by Kenpachiro Satsuma. This is the first movie of the Heisei series to bring back a classic Godzilla foe: this time King Ghidorah. Also, because Godzilla vs. Biollante was apparently a box office disappointment because audiences are idiots, Toho decided to make this one even more fantastical to hopefully draw in the crowd who enjoys such things. It was actually more successful, but I'd chalk this up to the return of a recognizable beast rather than time travel, but hey who really knows.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- In the year 2204, the body of King Ghidorah is seen underwater, missing a head.

- Back in 1992, Godzilla is still weakened from his previous battle with Biollante and the ANEB, and hasn't been seen since then.

- For some reason, it seems very important to this plot that Godzilla is actually a mutated dinosaur that was created from hydrogen/atomic weapon testing.

- A UFO is also seen around this time, one of the first to be seen (or at least tracked). Investigators are greeted by the Futurians, time travelers who warn of a Japan that has been fully destroyed by Godzilla.

- The Futurians are here to go back in time to prevent Godzilla from mutating in the first place, thereby saving Japan.

- Back in 1954, we see dino-zilla kill some American soldiers before being wounded. To prevent him from becoming Godzilla, the Futurians teleport him away before he can be hit by radiation.

- Back in 1992, King Ghidorah appears and begins to destroy Japan completely. The modern humans question if this is related to them time traveling to prevent Godzilla's existence, and one has to question their intelligence.

- Now defenseless against King Ghidorah, the Japanese decide creating Godzilla is their only choice.

- Turns out the Futurians made this plan to destroy Japan so that in their time they wouldn't be beaten by Japan's economic superpower status.

- One of Futurians turns out to be a super powerful android from the future and he absolutely destroys the humans who are trying to create Godzilla. He gets reprogrammed to be helpful.

- The plan to create Godzilla fails, because he already exists! Created by a Russian nuclear submarine in the 70's, 90's Godzilla absorbs the power of the Japanese submarine and is now fully recovered from his injuries from the last film.

- Godzilla versus King Ghidorah begins! The two fight to a relative stalemate, both gaining the upper hand before losing it.

- While the kaiju fight, the humans fight to prevent the Futurians from escaping to their own time, using their new reprogrammed super-droid to absolutely wreck everyone's shit.

- With the Futurians having lost control of KG, Godzilla blasts off his middle head before also killing the Futurians himself. He finishes off King Ghidorah by Atomic Breathing him into the ocean.

- Rampaging through Japan, as Godzilla is wont to do, he is interrupted by Mecha-King Ghidorah, from the future. A robot head replacing his destroyed middle one, he's part robot but all anger.

- Carried off by MKG, Godzilla wins this fight in the ocean (far away from the mainland).

- Movie's basically over. Let's call it here.

Kaiju Notes

- King Ghidorah looks better than he ever has. His color is not as over the top as some of his earlier appearances, but it makes his golden hue appear somewhat natural. His face(s) is also specifically aggressive looking and his necks actually seem to fit onto his body, a feat none of the older suits had managed to pull off.

- Godzilla is larger in this film, his body bulking up to make him appear mightier. The effect is double-edged: he does look bigger and possibly stronger but also clunkier and chunkier.

- Mecha-King Ghidorah is hilarious. That's all. Still a fine design because it's just the already good KG design but now a cyborg.

- The kaiju fighting is relatively unmemorable. Lots of Lightning Lasers versus Atomic Breath action but not a whole lot of grit.

This movie apparently attracted controversy due to perceived Japanese nationalist themes. It's easy enough to see why: the plot is about non-Japanese time travelers going back in time to ensure that Japan doesn't become an economic powerhouse which it is apparently totally on the way to doing. That combined with the military scenes from WWII, which do distinctly leave out that Japan was among the villains of that conflict, can be combined to see that this movie is at least somewhat predicated on Japan being uniquely awesome in a way that a lot of the others in the series are not. But so fucking what? Every country thinks they're the best one, fuck outta here with this stupid concern. As an American I can confidently say that it is especially ironic for any American critic or viewer to somehow be upset about this one instance of this one theme in this one movie, given our entire output. I'm not saying it's not in this movie, but it's just... incredibly unimportant.

The changing of the Godzilla canon is somewhat interesting, in a mostly bad way. Original Godzilla was an ancient creature (or possibly just a creature with an unknown origin) that was either waken up or created by nuclear weapons, and now we have a different origin story. Now we have set it in stone that he is a dinosaur, a Godzillasaurus, that somehow lived into the 1940's before being transformed by nuclear testing. That a dinosaur lived into the 1950's is never explained, of course, but that's relatively unimportant in comparison. I'm not sure which version of a Godzilla origin I prefer, but "weirdly long-lived dinosaur turned terrible lizard" is not really any good. It also eliminates the existence of the original Gojira, because in the new canon Godzilla didn't exist until the 70's and therefore definitely didn't attack in the 50's. It's an entirely unforced error that raises a million questions but is never really touched upon again. Did Godzilla attack in the 70's when he was created or was The Return of Godzilla actually the first time he was seen in the world? How did Godzillasaurus survive into the 1970's when he was left to die on the island? Did the two previous films happen exactly as they did despite the change in the world? Does the memory of the entire world get changed to match the new time-travel shenanigan version of events? It's just so unnecessary, and that's just the tip.

The change in the origin does bring us one moment that's entirely worth it, though: the moment when Godzilla comes face to face with the Japanese soldier that gave the command to leave him behind on the island in 1954. While the soldiers saluted and appreciated Godzilla for saving them, they had little recourse but to leave Godzillasaurus to die. The commander shed a tear as they left the helpless dinosaur, and in the modern era Godzilla sees this man once more. The lizard legitimately looks both incredibly pissed off and sad as the soldier repeats his salute and sheds another tear when he comes across his former savior. The moment when Godzilla Atomic Breaths this man in the face 50 years after their last encounter is incredible. It's the perfect combination of excellent suit acting, kaiju characterization, and using the human side of the story to create emotional bond to the story all at once.

Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah is a mixed bag. The human elements are among the strongest they've ever been: the super-powered android is always fun and the above described human-Godzilla connection is one of the greatest scenes in Godzilla movie history so far. On the other hand, the time travel story is largely idiotic, including a real question about why they would come to Japan in the 90's at all. If the time traveler's wanted to go back in time and prevent Godzilla's creation so that Japan could be destroyed, why would they tell the Japanese about the plan at all? If they'd simply gone to the 1940's first, the Japanese would not have even had the knowledge to create Godzilla in the modern era as a way to protect themselves from the attacking King Ghidorah. Time travel often messes stories up, and this movie is no exception at all. I'm conflicted on a final judgement on this one as the general story is pretty bad, but the highs of this film are among the highest of any movie in the series yet. Plus, it gave us the enduring image of Mecha-King Ghidorah, so that's worth a little extra something. See it, bruh.

Next: Godzilla vs. Mothra!

Godzilla vs. Gigan

Gigan is, no joke, my favorite kaiju. So rather than doing a bunch of setup about how this movie is directed by Jun Fukuda and stars Haruo Nakajima with Kenpachiro Satsuma reprising his role as the titular antagonist, let's get straight to talking about the movie that introduces the best boi Gigan.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- Hired to make some monster designs for an upcoming theme park called Children's Land, a manga artist sees a woman flee a building as he heads in. She drops a tape which he retrieves, and becomes embroiled in a conspiracy.

- When they play the tape, it sounds like garbled nonsense but we the audience can see the monsters on Monster Island react. They then have a conversation we see through cutesy subtitles and Anguirus goes to "check it out" after Godzilla tells him to.

- Anguirus arrives on land and is viciously attacked by the military. He retreats as the bad guys reveal themselves to the good humans and are also forced to retreat. 

- The bad guys are revealed to be Nebulans, aliens, cockroach-like alients who want to establish "peace" and take over the planet for themselves. They summon King Ghidorah and new monster Gigan to Earth to fight on their behalf using their tapes to control them.

- As Gigan and KG utterly destroy Tokyo while being controlled by the Nebulons, Anguirus returns with Godzilla in tow to bring an end to the assault on humankind.

- Realizing the aliens are controlling Gigan and King Ghidorah, Godzilla turns to attack the Nebulon's lair. It is, of course, equipped with a powerful laser that legitimately injures him (after his other foes have done some damage).

- Near the end of the film, the heroes (human and kaiju alike) are getting their shit absolutely rocked by the combined might of the Nebulons and their minions, but the human plan to blow up the base finally frees Godzilla from the wrath of the laser inside the children's theme park.

- With Gigan and King Ghidorah free from Nebulon control, the monsters have another tornado tag match. Godzilla and Gigan settle things first, with Godzilla scoring a come-from-behind advantage while Anguirus mostly loses his own fight against King Ghidorah.

- The fight ends with Godzilla giving King Ghidorah the Kurt Angle special: first holding him still while Anguirus tackles him (spines-first) and then suplexing him 3 times. For understandable reasons, Gigan and KG decide to run away back into space.

- Our human heroes big adieu to Godzilla and Anguirus as they head back home now that peace on earth has been achieved once more.

Kaiju Notes

- Gigan is perfect. He is the best boi and the only kaiju for which I will always have no notes. His luscious, chicken like form is stunning. His rotating chest blade is amazing. The choice to give him a single giant red eye that is apparently useless is stupendous. The fact that he has no hands and just has hooks instead is genius. Some of this might be hyperbole even though I mean every word, but Gigan legit does have an excellent profile.

- Gigan is especially aggressive compared to most kaiju, who typically (try to) ignore the military around them. But Gigan specifically jumps and reaches for planes to destroy, using his (incredibly dope) hook-hands to knock them out of the sky, even though they clearly can't harm him.

- The fight in Tokyo when the four monsters meet up for the first time is actually one of the more spectacular (literally, a spectacle) events we've seen in any kaiju movie thus far. The monsters fight, but in a reckless manner (as a giant monster might) that destroys almost as much as it saves. Like fighting Hedorah before, it's actually more interesting to me to see the destruction that all kaiju cause all the time, even when they're not trying to destroy a city.

- King Ghidorah does return in this one, and it's nice to see him come back and actually use his Gravity Beams in a fight. He gets his ass kicked every time he decides to use his armless body to physically fight and it makes him look stupid. Not to say a neck could never be used for a successful attack, but it's not typically recommended.

- For the first time ever, Godzilla bleeds. He is cut by Gigan's rotating saw and apparently has normal red-colored blood. Anguirus also gets a truly brutal slice to the face that caused an audible reaction from me. This reflects the above comment that Gigan is pretty brutal; he also uses his hook hands at one point to hit Godzilla in the same spot enough times int he face to cause another gush of blood. Gigan's a beast.

- Anguirus repeats his tactic (and footage) from Destroy All Monsters and latches onto King Ghidorah's neck. It goes exactly as well this time. He does learn to launch himself using his spiny back as a weapon, so he's capable of trying some new tricks.

This now makes a few Fukuda-directed Godzilla movies we've seen so far and I think it's time to confess that I prefer him to Honda. Honda obviously gets credit for originating kaiju fluids and making several great films, but we're 3 into Fukuda's run and I have enjoyed all of them. Even the one most people hate: vs Ebirah. In comparison to Honda, he has a great sense of scale and consequence, as well as embracing the monstrousness of the monsters. It is, as most film related opinions, a matter of taste, but Fukuda seems to know how to hook me in a way that Honda didn't always. I am also cheating a bit by knowing that Fukuda directed one of my absolute favorite Godzilla movies that I've seen so far, so in this paragraph he's getting future credit that we will get to. Another trait of Fukuda's direction that I prefer: much more focus on kaiju fights. I watch these movies primarily to see monsters battle, and Fukuda seems to understand that. While human stories help anchor things, we're here for the monsters.

Monsters talking to each other doesn't happen enough. I love it every time and especially appreciate that the movie doesn't try to give monster conversations pathos. They're silly, let them be silly. You remember the best episode of Pokemon? It was the one where the pokemon talked to each other but still did their stupid "repeat only our names" thing and it was rad. So let's have Anguirus and Godzilla have a chat usint giant speech bubbles while weird sounds come out of their mouths. It won't work in films of every tone, but it did for this especially "out there" film.

Another highlight of this film: it might feature the most thorough destruction of Tokyo (or similarly large city) we have seen in a kaiju movie thus far. Gigan and King Ghidorah wreck it pretty thoroughly before Godzilla and Anguirus arrive, and they manage to contribute to the destruction of Tokyo once they make it to land as well. As I mentioned above, Fukuda (and this script) truly embraces the danger of kaiju. This was also a theme in the previous film in the series, Godzilla vs. Hedorah, which readers may remember as being a big hit for me. 

But! The seriousness of the violence is weighed delicately against the absurdity of both the plot and the "human story." The above plot points is an intensely simplified version, as the plot moves in unusual lurches and jumps in logic. Explaining it as it happens seem impossible through text, so it has to be reduced to its "points" rather than being a chronological telling of the story as it happens. It's entirely reasonable to see this as a weakness of the storytelling, but I personally find it engaging. Multiple times while watching I said, out loud, "this movie is fucking bonkers." And it is. And that's part of why I love it.

In a movie about a manga artist taking down a children's theme park that is also a secret base for a group of cockroach-aliens that have an extremely powerful laser inside the mascot and want to bring peace to Earth through violence and then take it over for themselves, somehow even more absurd things happen as it moves. Seeing a squirming, talking cockroach is simultaneously disgusting and hilarious. I hate looking at cockroaches in any capacity, but watching them call out for their friend under a pile of rubble is amusing nonetheless.

The last note I have is that there does seem to be a message here about the cost of peace. Multiple times peace is implied to be simple to achieve (by the aliens, who are liars) but the latter half of the movie is determined to demonstrate this is not the case: even defending Tokyo from monsters who were destroying it causes a ton of the city to also be destroyed. Perhaps there's something there. The characters reference how complex peace truly is on multiple occasions, first pushing back on the Nebulons insistence that a theme park can bring it about (okay, fair) but later struggling with having the power of Godzilla and Anguirus be the saving grace against the ultra-violence of King Ghidorah and Gigan. It's not settled by the end of the movie, of course, but the humans seem to acknowledge that all of the events (including their own bombing of Children's Land) were necessary to bring some notion of peace back to the world.

Conclusion: I love this movie. Even when it's ridiculous and stupid, it's ridiculous and stupid in a way I enjoy. The monster action is quite good, complex, and lengthy. It's basically everything I want in a silly kaiju movie. Though I do prefer my kaiju movies somewhat more serious-minded to be truly "great," I can still enjoy the hell out of the absurd ones (and often do!).

Next: Godzilla vs. Megalon!

Destroy All Monsters

It is time to Destroy All Monsters, a star-studded movie about many monsters doing many monstrous things. Ishirō Honda returns to the director's chair with Haruo Nakajima retaining his crown as the King of the Monsters. I have no major facts or news to share on this one, so let's get right to it.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- Every monster on Earth has been gathered into one place, a place appropriately called Monsterland. They are trapped by various containment systems and provided with plenty of natural food so they can live relatively peacefully.

- Monsterland is attacked, the human researchers and monster themselves all knocked unconscious with yellow gas.

- The various monster of Monsterland seem to have escaped, causing destruction worldwide!

- The Kilaaks, an alien race, are revealed to be in control of the situation: demanding that humanity surrender to their rule or be destroyed.

- Human story begins here, with resistance to the Kilaaks being critical to the plot. They search for a way to free the monsters (and thus, humanity) from the Kilaaks rule.

- Confident, perhaps too much so, in their strength, the Kilaaks send almost every monster in their control to Tokyo to obliterate it.

- An attack by the humans on the Kilaaks' moon base is successful, breaking their control of the monsters on Earth and switching it to the humans.

- The monsters are sent to Mt. Fuji to finally and fully destroy the Kilaaks' base. As one last defense, King Ghidorah is sent by the Kilaaks to ward off their enemies.

- An epic battle commences, with King Ghidorah fighting Godzilla, Anguirus, Gorosaurus, Rodan, Mothra, and Kumonga while Minilla (baby Godzilla), Manda, and Varan cheer them on. Godzilla stomps one of King Ghidorah's neck near the end and it's actually pretty brutal.

- The Kilaaks' use a final weapon called Fire Dragon to destroy the human's control center so they also have no control over the monsters now. They seem to think this will matter but Godzilla interrupts whatever they were about to say to fuck their base right up just like the humans planned. Everyone dies.

- With the Kilaaks soundly defeated, the monsters return to Monsterland of their own accord so they can be in harmony again.

Kaiju Notes

- Rodan looks goddamn terrible. He always has, but this version is especially bad. Most of the other monsters look pretty much the same but they've brutalized my boy Rodan. King Ghidorah also took a hit in that he is more golden but less magnificent looking. It'll do, but it's not ideal. Your big end scene villain should definitely look as good as your best looking beast, if not better.

- Gorosaurus has an excellent color that they don't emphasize enough. His blue colored back is baller. Just like his first appearance, I think his design is good (basically just a big dinosaur), but I never noticed the super cool colors before.

- Mothra is significantly less moist in this movie, which is great because I have always found larval Mothra quite distressing to look (primarily because she'e so gooey).

- The scene of all of the monsters arriving at the Kilaaks' base to destroy it is actually pretty dope. It's like the Avengers or Justice League assembling, Godzilla leading every other monster. Especially once King Ghidorah arrives, the 1 vs. All aesthetic is very effective.

- Anguirus has a moment where he clamps onto King Ghidorah's neck as Ghidorah takes flight, and it's awesome. He loses this fight, but these little random moments of weirdness are also random moments of greatness.

Quite simply, the movie definitely seems like it was intended to be a culmination or even final film in the series. Many claims exist on the internet and otherwise that this actually was the case, though I've seen no evidence of it. Regardless, Destroy All Monsters is cool to watch because it is like seeing all of the strings pulled together like an Avengers movie. While crossovers between Godzilla and other Toho kaiju have happened before, this film features basically every kaiju at Toho's disposal and it is truly a sight to behold. As stated above, seeing all of the "Earth" monsters gather in one location to take down the villains is honestly quite awesome, and then adding a big fight with King Ghidorah makes it better. The fight could be more spectacular and amazing because it is over very quickly and there's very little use of the kaiju's various abilities, but sadly this movie clearly didn't have the budget it deserved. The monster action is some of the best in the series so far.

While the monster action is top tier, the human story is honestly quite dull. It's quite disappointing to have such a great ending but being in such a boring place beforehand. While we get a tiny amount of kaiju destruction in the 2nd act, the huge majority of the 1st and 2nd acts are dedicated to human's flying around on spaceships and arguing with aliens. It is not a compelling story at all, and my first attempt to watch it had me dozing off about two-thirds of the way into the movie. In its defense I was a bit sleepy anyway, but believe an interesting plot would've helped me get and stay awake and invested. If I had to describe it in any detail I'm honestly not sure I could, except to say that they fight with aliens and take over the monsters in some way that's either not explained or stupid. In the Justice League version of kaiju movies, everything would have been better off with more kaiju involvement.

Incredibly minor nitpick: while on the moon the humans call one of the Kilaak spaceships a "UFO." It's not a UFO if you know exactly what it is (a spaceship) and who it belongs to (the Kilaaks). This is obviously unimportant, but it amused me in the moment.

Conclusion: the last 30 minutes of this movie is pretty much the best 30 minutes in a kaiju movie since 1954. Unlike the original Gojira, however, the human story sucks and must be balanced against the monster fighting. The monster fighting is pretty great, ultimately making this a great addition to the series. If you're at all interested in kaiju movies this is likely an excellent start, as the crap human story will make up for itself when you see a monster stomp on another's neck while it coughs up blood. Other films in the series may be more balanced, but they're not more spectacular.

Next: All Monsters Attack!

Invasion of Astro-Monster

Today is the day for the 1965 movie Invasion of Astro-Monster, the second appearance of one legendary kaiju: King Ghidorah, having another showdown with Godzilla. Rodan also makes an appearance, but they cut out my girl Mothra from this one. Once again directed by Ishirō Honda, Haruo Nakajima and Shoichi Hirose reprise their roles as Godzilla and King Ghidorah, respectively. With Gamera, the Giant Monster in the past, we are now gaining a little perspective on the differences in both suit performance and direction of kaiju movies, and better still the next movie in our series has a different director! We're hitting the big time!

Invasion of Astro-Monster has some significant downsides to it: primarily a lower budget and reusing previous shots. Rodan's scenes are particularly noticeable as rehashed footage. Honda himself reflected on this period with "If we recycled scenes from previous movies, we could cut the effects budget. But then we received complaints from our fans saying, 'It looks weird, it's not fresh.' We could fool the audience for a little while, but eventually they would know the trick and stop coming to see the shows. Then the studio would think that special effects film don't sell anymore. It's no wonder we could not make anything good around that period... It is a sad story."

I am hoping that several good ones are still to come, but if this movie and Honda's own words are to be believed then we may be in for some rocky times while we journey through the history of kaiju movies. Let's talk about the movie first and then possibly revisit some of this.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- Two astronauts, Fuji and Glenn, arrive on Planet X.

- They meet aliens, Xiliens, who hide them from a rampaging King Ghidorah and explain that he is the horrible Monster Zero who is destroying their planet.

- In exchange for "borrowing" Godzilla and Rodan to fight Monster Zero, the Xiliens offer humans the cure for cancer. They make the exchange. Big G, Rodan, Glenn, and Fuji all head to Planet X.

- Once on Planet X, Godzill and Rodan succeed in driving away King Ghidorah.

- Glenn and Fuji realize something funky is going on after suspecting the Xiliens of ill-intent for most of the movie so far, and are briefly taken prisoner before being released due to their status as guests of the Xiliens.

- Leaving the monsters behind and with the cure for cancer in hand, the astronauts return to Earth.

- The tape the astronauts were given is revealed to be an ultimatum and not a cure, calling for Earth to surrender to Planet X or be destroyed by all 3 monsters they now have control over.

- Under the control of the Xiliens, Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah begin destroying the world before the invention is broadcast from every available radio on the planet

- Glenn is formally imprisoned by the Xiliens later, and meets another man who apparently has invented a device which interrupts the Xiliens' electronics. They use this to escape prison and also free Rodan and Godzilla from Xilien control.

- After being set free from mind control, Godzilla and Rodan decide to turn their energy toward King Ghidorah in a final, utterly unspectacular battle.

- All three monsters fall off a cliff, into the water. Ghidorah retreats to space while the human propose that Godzilla and Rodan could still be alive.

- Fuji and Glenn are made ambassadors to Planet X. END

Kaiju Notes

- All of the suits for the monsters look pretty much the same as they did for King Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster. King Ghidorah's necks may be just a bit shorter, but my memory may be trash. He also appears to be somewhat less golden, the more muted color making him seem perhaps more dangerous but also less SPECTACULAR. Godzilla's eyes are noticeable in this again, after spending some time not being an obvious feature.

- Godzilla is beginning to transition into full "hero" mode. After cross bodying King Ghidorah, knocking him down and making him flee, Godzilla leaps into the air no less than four times doing a victory pose. It's strange, but undeniably entertaining to see the usually lumbering Godzilla doing cheerleader moves.

- The kaiju are much more human in this movie generally. At one point Godzilla, under the control of the Xiliens, even does the "cut throat" gesture when Earth is threatened with total destruction by him and the other two big bois.

- Godzilla does boxing moves in this one! No more Atomic Breath for this guy, he throws some jabs and crosses alongside some fancy foorwork before throwing King Ghidorah off a cliff (alongside himself and Rodan).

Let's start with the bad: I don't enjoy this movie. I find it plodding, a bit strange, and the monster action pretty disappointing. But the strange thing to consider is that there are also some significant highlights: the Xiliens, the inventive plot, the team-up shenanigans. For some odd reason the cohesive movie doesn't come together for me despite enjoying many aspects of the movie itself. It's also nice to compare this to Gamera, the Giant Monster as two films made on a tight budget and indulging their strangest desires. Comparatively, I think Gamera did a better job between the two despite it's obvious disadvantages.

Let's start by talking about the Xiliens: I love these guys. And I do mean guys, as apparently all of the female Xiliens are... clones of each other? It was unclear. But either way, the Xiliens come up with this entirely wild plan to kidnap Godzilla and Rodan so they can turn them against the Earth. But if they had the technology couldn't they simply do this anyway? They could just go grab them, brainwash them, and come back for conquest. But they decide to use subterfuge and deception, I think, because it amuses them. They never seem to have fun or smile as they represent themselves as beings of pure logic, but you look at that plan and tell me what part of it makes any logical sense.

Doubling down here: I think part of this movie is about the value of human emotions over pure logic. While arguing about the Xiliens attempting to take over Earth, one of the lady Xiliens has fallen in love with Glenn and expresses her desire to be a human like him: "A man is immortal. A material machine can be destroyed." Even the kaiju of this movie, still giant animals and monsters, seem a bit more human-like in contrast to the Xilien villains. It's not a necessarily well-developed theme, but one that I found myself unable to shake.

Related: despite their relative humanity compared to previous appearances, when the kaiju conflict with human forces they seem more brutal than normal, wasting little time and just wrecking havoc. Perhaps this is because they are under control of aliens to destroy rather than the more base instincts that typically drive them. Or perhaps it is destruction that is the base instinct, and thus they are now more effective at it? Either way, all 3 kaiju in this movie are forces of utter destruction in a way that hasn't been seen since Godzilla's first appearance. Even in recycled footage, humans take an absolute beating in this movie compared to almost everything since the 1954 original, as in most of the films the kaiju typically try to ignore humans for the sake of their own objectives. But when that objective becomes "destroy all humans," they are shockingly good at it.

In the end, this movie is a bit of a lesson in the importance of all pieces of a piece of art working together. Despite enjoying the wacky plot and human story (a rarity for me when it comes to kaiju movies), something about this just didn't click for me. If I had to guess it would be the relative lack of agency on the part of the kaiju: almost all of their time in this movie is spent being manipulated or controlled by the humanoid characters rather than being themselves forces of nature that humanoids have to operate around. Even the end of the movie doesn't bother to truly establish whether Rodan and Godzilla even lived, instead spending more time on the human elements and making our two main human characters into ambassadors to a planet that tried to conquer them not 20 minutes ago. While I think the human and monster pieces of a good kaiju movie have to work together, something about letting the monsters be subsumed by the other side of things seems counter to the point of the genre. It could work, I am sure, but I don't personally think it did here. I wish I liked this more, but if you're into wild rides and wacky notions, this might still be the kaiju movie for you!

Next: Ebirah, Horror of the Deep!

Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster

Today we watch Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster. This is the introduction of the creature that is most commonly regarded as Godzilla's archenemy: King Ghidorah. A movie of returns, the director remains Ishirō Honda with Godzilla still played by Haruo Nakajima. Shoichi Hirose also returns from playing King Kong in King Kong vs. Godzilla to be the titular King Ghidorah, so we're dealing with veterans all over this flick. I am trying to get notes on the style of all of these people as we go, but because they have remained consistent thus far it is not yet possible to compare how Nakajima's Godzilla looks opposed to anyone else, or Honda's direction holds up to his successor. But we'll get there, so this information will be more relevant as we go!

If You Haven't Seen it Before

 - A group of UFO enthusiasts are joined by a reporter when they see a meteor shower rain down.

- Onboard a plane, a literal princess is told to flee by an alien force. She jumps out of the emergency exit, unaided, just as the plane explodes in an assassination attempt.

- The Princess reappears, but now claims to be an alien from Venus here to help save this planet.

- The Twin Fairies (Shobijin) of Mothra fame appear on a show to sing a song to Mothra.

- The Venusian/Princess appears at a volcano to warn people just before Rodan re-emerges for the first time in many years.

- As the Shobijin head back to Infant Island, the Venusian appears to insist that they not set sail. We find out later that the Shobijin sensed something wrong as well and listened, hiding out elsewhere.

- The ship that was meant to have the Shobijin on it is destroyed by Godzilla, who emerges from the ocean.

- Rodan and Godzilla meet and don't immediately duke it out. They seem to be moving toward the same place together.

- The Venusian warns of the arrival of King Ghidorah, who will completely destroy the world.

- A meteorite that landed in the first scene and has been a source of curiosity throughout the movie continues to grow and now hatches, unleashing the three-headed monster King Ghidorah.

- The Shobijin explain to government officials that even Mothra cannot defeat King Ghidorah, and it will potentially take all three monsters (Godzilla, Mothra, and Rodan) to take him down. Right after, Ghidorah flies through the city and destroys several buildings with his Gravity Beam.

- Apparently having a disagreement, Rodan and Godzilla begin to fight before being interrupted by larval Mothra. After a quick game of volleyball (it's hard to explain) she string shots them until they listen to her.

- The Shobijin translate for the humans as the kaiju discuss saving the planet from King Ghidorah.

- As this happens, King Ghidorah is approaching the location where all of the human and kaiju characters are, forcing their hands right now.

- Unable to convince the others, Mothra (larval) goes to fight King Ghidorah on her own. The ass-kicking she receives finally prompts Rodan and Godzilla to help.

- King Ghidorah is ultimately driven away, but not killed, by the trio. He appears to fly away into space. Methinks he'll be back.

Kaiju Notes

- Rodan's first appearance is ugly as hell. And he unhinges his jaw in a truly distressing manner to roar. I hate it. But if it's intentionally horrifying, then it's very effective.

- King Ghidorah has a cute little paunch where the heads meet, making him the first kaiju with a dad bod.

- Rodan has been greatly improved. Besides just the movement of the wings, the designer did a good job in giving Rodan the perfect amount of simple improvements. His stomach armor is a nice touch that I don't remember from his original appearance.

- At one point Godzilla is literally picked up by Rodan and it's hilarious. Like Mothra dragging his ass in the last movie, seeing Rodan grab him by the dorsal plates and him flail helplessly is pretty funny. I will watch kaiju actors flail about anytime.

- Every time larval Mothra has been seen in this series she gets uglier and grosser. I thought the first version was kind of cute, but each one gets slimier and I hate it. Especially given how majestic Big Girl Mothra is.

- Ghidorah's lack of arms is a choice that I have to respect for being bold but it makes him look weird. Perhaps the necks aren't long enough to make it seem as though they could reasonably substitute having any other appendages. Otherwise it's a strong design and his color is one of the better choices they've made from an aesthetic perspective.

This is the first movie to feature kaiju actually communicating in a discernible fashion. With the Shobijin translating, we're able to gain some insight into the various monsters personalities. When Mothra initially tries to convince them to help her save the Earth from King Ghidorah. Godzilla and Rodan disagree that they should team up to protect the Earth, they don't care. Humans are always bullying them anyway, so why should they help protect their planet? They also demand apologies from the other, because apparently kaiju can communicate complex ideas and are as petty as any human. Even when Mothra points out that the Earth doesn't belong to humans alone so they should defend it as well, Godzilla and Rodan disagree. Like the single episode of Pokémon that features the pokemon speaking with each other, I would watch this shit all day. I want more kaiju discussions! I know at least one more happens, but I want way more of this.

My favorite moment is when Rodan is facing off with Ghidorah and hides behind a rock. After Gravity Beams stop shooting in his direction, he adorably peeks his little pteronadon head out to check if the coast is clear and it's just... perfect. And this comes immediately after Godzilla helps a weakened Mothra climb up a mountain by biting onto his tail while he walks. Godzilla also does a little shimmy at one point after being hit by Gravity Beams. The volleyball scene happens before all of this so it really just sets the stage for all of the upcoming kawaii. There are more cute moments to discuss, but then this would be a post about all of the cuteness kaiju are capable of so let's just say that this movie gets 10/10 on the adorableness scale.

The end fight is interrupted with a long scene about the Venusian/Princess regaining her human consciousness, and it's a weird and pointless thing to interrupt a 4 Kaiju fight. Fortunately when this is over we get right back to a true 3-on-1 beatdown, but it's just bad moviemaking to include this part in the middle of our climactic showdown. King Ghidorah retreats, presumably back into space, by the combination Rodan flying Mothra on his back while she shoots string shots to bind KG and Godzilla throws rock at him. It's a relatively innovative way to have them join forces, Rodan making Mothra and hard target and Godzilla doing the assault while Mothra hinders. It's like a proper TTRPG party firing on all cylinders.

I have something I do want to say about this movie, and generally. I know that men are almost inherently stupid/over confident. I'm not going to claim that I've never been completely sure I could do or accomplish something well beyond my capabilities. BUT, in this movie there are multiple examples of men doing just this in very silly ways. Early on, a man and his apparent girlfriend are hanging around one of the "giant monster sights" and things start to go askew. She says they should leave and he says "don't worry, I will protect you." HOW?! Rodan kills everyone around him accidentally, Godzilla sometimes does it intentionally, and if it's a new creature why would you roll those dice? Later still, the Venusian is warning the world about the incoming doom and is, of course, disbelieved by all of the very important men. She even predicts something will happen on one mountain and is ridiculed because another mountain is the one that has been having recent volcanic activity. AND THEN RODAN COMES OUT OF THE MOUNTAIN SHE SAID AND DUDES IS STILL LIKE "LUCKY GUESS."

It's either a weakness of the storytelling or an indictment of the overconfidence of mankind that they live in a world of frequent kaiju attacks and everyone is still insistent that every woman with some insight is simply overreacting or delusional. But these dudes deliver every time, even as the Venusian is proven correct time and time again. Me thinking I could be the greatest Guilty Gear Strive player in the world if I just set my mind to it is one thing, me thinking I could protect anyone from hundred ton monsters with nothing but my wits and charm is a level of arrogance I simply don't understand. Charitably, I am going to chalk this one up to the writing of the movie, but something in my core tells me that I am incorrect to do so. There's entire websites and subreddits dedicated to people being unreasonably sure they could handle situations despite all evidence speaking to the contrary, and many of them die.

This movie is not one of the deeper ones of the batch, but as we discussed with King Kong vs. Godzilla, that's okay sometimes. The human plot is oddly complex for a movie that brings in 4 giant monsters to enjoy. Streamlining and focusing on all of the arrangements of the 4 in a versus situation seems like a more obvious choice, but word on the street is there was some drama behind the scenes that kept Ghidorah from being on screen as much. People will be people, I guess. Even if it hurts what they're working on. Outside of being the most adorable kaiju movie so far, it lacks the extra specialness that makes the great ones great.

Next: Frankenstein Conquers the World!