Godzilla: Final Wars

We're in the endgame now, with the Milliennium series almost concluded. Godzilla is taking another hiatus, and this time Toho decided to throw a party beforehand. Instead of ending with a whimper like 1974's Terror of Mechagodzilla, or advertising the killing off of the main man Big G like 1995's Godzilla vs. Destoroyah, Godzilla: Final Wars is a celebration of 50 years of Godzilla history while allowing the giant lizard to take a well-deserved break. To add to this celebration of Godzilla in his 50th year, he also received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame just before the premiere of this film.

If you're not aware, this movie features a cavalcade of kaiju from Godzilla's history including at least one whom we've never discussed because it first appeared in a movie we've never covered on this blog (not a Godzilla movie). Tsutomu Kitagawa finishes his role as Millennium era Godzilla, but we've also got Naoko Kamio as both Rodan and Minilla, Kazuhiro Yoshida as Gigan and Hedorah, Toshihiro Ogura as Anguirus and Ebirah, and Motokuni Nakagawa pulling triple duty as Monster X, King Caesar, and Keizer Ghidorah. We've also got Kamacuras, Kumonga, Manda, Mothra, and American Godzilla (officially named Zilla by Toho in this film) to look forward to. I'm possibly forgetting someone, but with all these kaiju in one movie it's an understandable lapse in memory I think. Those other kaiju don't get suit actors listed because they are either CGI creatures or puppets.

Alright, enough build up: Godzilla's awesome we get it. Let's talk about the Final War, and watch Godzilla kick a kaiju-ton of kaiju-ass.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- Due to various environmental disasters, kaiju have been arising from the Earth for 60+ years. Humanity has stopped fighting wars with one another and are now united against these monsters as the Earth Defense Force (EDF). Superpowered mutant humans began to appear in the world around the same time as the kaiju, and are part of the EDF as Organization M.

- In the context of this film, most kaiju we've seen throughout Godzilla movies have already appeared and been defeated by the EDF, including Godzilla who was frozen solid in Antartica some time ago.

- The Gotengo, one of the EDFs super weapons which is a flying submarine with a drill on the front which can be used to kill kaiju, is crewed by (among others) mutant Ozaki and normal human Captain Gordon. These are our important human characters.

- Protecting an important biologist (a boring job), Ozaki comes across Gigan, encased in stone. Shortly after this, Rodan destroys some city in the US, and monsters begin to appear all around the world. King Caesar in Japan, Zilla in Australia, Anguirus in Shanghai, and Kamacuras in France.

- The EDF attempts to take the kaiju down, but with so many monster to fight on so many fronts, they are overwhelmed. Ebirah the giant lobster is taken down by Ozaki and his team, however.

- The monsters are captured by a UFO containing the Xiliens, who reveal themselves to humans and pledge their allyship. They warn that a planet is coming to crash into the Earth and will destroy it, but they can help.

- The Xiliens become famous and revered, especially the 2nd in command "X," who appears in various media and is quite popular. There is some controversy over them however and Ozaki agrees, finding it unlikely that right after finding out Gigan is an alien cyborg monster that "different" aliens appear.

- Realizing that several prominent politicians are behaving somewhat suspiciously, Ozaki and his friends publicly reveal that the Xiliens have been impersonating some (all?) of the leaders of Earth.

- Pissed off that the ruse has been exposed, X kills the commander of the Xiliens and assumes control. Having captured the kaiju in their UFO before, X releases them again to assert control over the Earth. Using his Xilien powers, he's also able to assume control of all of the mutants except Ozaki, so now almost all mutants and kaiju are under his command.

- Almost all of the EDF is destroyed by the kaiju, leaving only the Gotengo and it's crew available, and even that ship couldn't possibly take down all these monsters. Fortunately, they come up a plan: Godzilla.

- Being the most powerful of the kaiju according to Captain Douglas, Godzilla is not currently under the control of the Xiliens and can thus be used to fight them. They're going to use his aggressiveness to lure it toward all of the other monsters and take them down. After that, how do they then defeat Godzilla? They'll figure it out later!

- Godzilla wakes as the Gotengo is confronted by Gigan, and quickly destroys the cyborg before beginning to chase the ship. Now the drama begins, and punk rock tunes kick in to tell us it's kaiju time.

- For the remainder of this movie, Godzilla kicks the ass of every monster he comes across in relatively short order and it's entirely awesome.

- Having captured the human crew of the Gotengo and lost all of his kaiju weapons, X summons his final attack: a giant meteor from space. Godzilla sees this coming and Atomic Breath's it so hard that it lands in a gigantic explosion but doesn't harm him. From inside launches the dreadful Monster X.

- Mothra, having been awoken a few minutes before, arrives to back up Godzilla as he does have some difficulty with Monster X. X sends the updated Gigan to fight Mothra, to keep things fair.

- Ozaki is revealed to be immune to the Xilien's control because he is a special mutant known as a keizer (just like X). While the kaiju fight it out nearby, Ozaki and X also engage in super-mutant battle onboard the ship.

- Mothra takes down Gigan by using his own weapons against him so that he slices off his own head, and then (having been set on fire by its laser) crashing into him in a final kamikaze attack. Mothra dies as she always does, but Gigan goes down.

- When X dies after being defeated by Ozaki, he causes the Xilien ship to delf-destruct as well. This causes a frantic escape and Ozaki only barely makes it back to the Gotengo before explosion.

- Monster X, defeated by Godzilla, evolves into its strongest form: Keizer Ghidorah. It's head expand to necks and it changes color to the familiar gold of King Ghidorah. He mollywops Godzilla for quite a while before clamping down on Godzilla's neck and beginning to absorb his energy.

- Godzilla losing the battle, Ozaki takes control of the Gotengo and uses his own keizer energy to fuel Godzilla. This causes KG to release Big G, and Godzilla turns the tide as he rips the extra heads off of Keizer Ghidorah before throwing him into the air and Atomic Breathing him into space where he explodes.

- Showing no loyalty, Godzilla turns around and knocks the Gotengo out of the sky. The crew survives, but the ship is out of commission.

- As Godzilla approaches the Gotengo to fully destroy it, the tiny Minilla appears to stop him and stands between the humans and Godzilla. Godzilla concedes the point and heads off to the sea with Minilla behind him. The end of an era. The Millennium era.

Kaiju Notes 

- Gigan has gotten a wild new update, being a new robot built for the 21st century. And while it's definitely more in line with modern aesthetic and looks quite chic, I have to confess to really enjoying the chicken-boy version of the past. I'll take both, though, because Nu-Gigan is badass in a whole OG-Gigan wasn't.

- Some of the other kaiju, even those who appear for only a few moments, have some upgrades. Kamacuras now has camouflage abilities and Anguirus can now roll into a spiked ball and launch himself into his enemies, for instance.

- This movie introduces very little "new" kaiju into it, so most of the kaiju information here is mostly relatively small changes or additions to update the creatures but with so little time to focus on any individual monster these are brief glimpses.

- Godzilla, at one point, throws Ebirah into Hedorah's eye and then Atomic Breaths them both so hard that the crash into a skyscraper and slide it into another, larger skyscraper before everything explodes. what

- Monster X is the closest thing to a new creature we get, and it's really just King Ghidorah but compact and gray instead of gold. It's a very edgy design, much like the upgraded Gigan, but not bad by any means. The three heads being compacted onto one small body makes a lot of sense to me as a more efficient design, and the "triple face" look actually seems more fearsome than the "triple head" of traditional King Ghidorah.

- Keizer Ghidorah's Gravity Beams, which we've always called them, now actually seem to have an effect on gravity. When hit with them, Godzilla actually lifts into the air and KG can manipulate him (and objects around him) by using his gravity beams.

The direction in this movie is a bit strange, but enjoyable. Actions scenes, especially for the humans/mutants, are often quick streaks across the screen punctuated by smaller moments of clarity. It's hard to explain, but it's a very dynamic way to shoot a film. It can be a bit disorienting at times, but it definitely tries to make the action sequences thrilling. That combined with the "very little time for your bullshit exposition" quality the movie has means that if you're here for an action movie you've got plenty to keep you focused. The human action pieces are probably more dynamic than they've ever been, but they're still weirdly distracting yet somehow entertaining in their own campy way. It's a very interesting quality of the film, as I truly can't decide whether I like them or hate them.

The man who plays X is potentially my favorite actor of all time. I love this man's over the top performance and have no other notes. He screams and tantrums with the best of them and his wild mood swings add an element of ridiculousness and entertainment to what could be an entirely flat character. That and actually being an interesting humanoid antagonist for once makes X one of the best Godzilla characters ever, quite honestly. We like X round these parts, he's the best.

So, this movie is overall pretty much exactly what some people want out of a Godzilla movie: monsters action. Rather than spend all of 2 hours having two monsters go back and forth, this is a gauntlet match with Godzilla tearing through his foes in ways we've never seen before. Alongside the human story which is... odd, but definitely not as boring as most, and you've got a movie which is nothing if not entertaining. There's no message, no metaphor, no hidden meanings here. Just Godzilla and mutants versus monsters and aliens. It's as delightful as it is shallow, but mileage is going to vary and whether it works for any particular viewer. Personally, this is one of my favorite Big G movies, but simultaneously not one I would consider "great." I would, however, definitely recommend one watch it, and see how it works for you!

Next: D-War!

All Monsters Attack

Yo, Ishirō Honda is back with a movie about Godzilla! Kinda. It's mostly about Minilla and a little kid. But Haruo Nakajima is, of course, back as Godzilla for the few minutes of original monster footage they shot for this movie. Let's just get to it.

 

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- The opening credits are new, showing monsters doing monster stuff before staff are named. It's fun.

- Children walk down the street singing a song about baby Godzilla, Minilla, before being attacked by a bully named Gabara.

- The main character is a little boy named Ichiro who dreams of going to Monster Island. He spends a lot of time alone as his parents work a lot.

- He grabs a toy from his closet and day dreams about going to Monster Island and watching Godzilla fight Kamacuras and Ebirah in reused footage from Son of Godzilla.

- He falls down a hole and meets Minilla, who literally talks to him about the giant monster Gabara, who is bullying Minilla. Godzilla won't take down Gabara for his son because he thinks Minilla needs to learn to fight his own battles.

- We now rewatch one of the battles between Godzilla and Ebirah, as well as G vs giant monster Kumonga.

- After the stock footage finally, mercifully, ends, Minilla is attacked by Gabara again. Before we get the conclusion of this, Ichiro is grabbed by a legitimately surprising man covered in leaves in the forest.

- Back in the real world, Ichiro has been kidnapped by villains because of a convoluted and stupid reason.

- Stuff happens, and we're back on Monster Island where Gabara and Minilla fight.

- Minilla finally outwits Gabara, and Godzilla comes by to congratulate his child before being ambushed by an angry Gabara.

- He soundly destroys Gabara, throwing him right on his head and neck. Gabara is lucky he doesn't break in half. He runs away.

- Back in the real world, Ichiro uses the lessons he imagined to thwart his own attacks and stand up to his own bully: little boy Gabara.

- Fin.

 

Kaiju Notes

- Gabara sucks.

- I do like Gabara's electric hands powers.

- Gabara also fights like a bully, which is kind of fun. At one point he literally places a hand on Minilla's hand while Minilla helplessly swings and that's pretty cute.

 

Overall, this movie blows. I knew going in that this is generally considered one of if not the worst Godzilla movie, but goddamn was I not prepared. This movie actually actively sucks. It does have a message, which I typically enjoy in my kaiju flicks, but it's surrounded by weird, horrible nonsense. All of the monster battles are the literal figment of a child's imagination, and rather than that being a great excuse to do wild shit you might see in the dreamworld of a kaiju fanatic that is also 9 years old, you get stock footage showing battles we saw several movies ago with about 10 minutes of unique monster action. It's... disappointing, to say the least. When I was a child, my dreams about monster fights would've included alongside Godzilla riding a laser-shark into battle against King Ghidorah, each head holding a sword (all different types, of course) and them having a battle on the surface of Venus, complete with acid volcanoes and traveling lightning storms. But apparently little Ichiro is not the creative type so we get Ebirah and Godzilla playing rock volleyball again. I thought that scene was ridiculous but amusing the first time, I hate it this go round.

The message isn't necessarily a bad one. Ichiro did need a confidence boost and the incredibly annoying Minilla did give him the (fantasy) inspiration he needed to stand up to his own Gabara, but just because a movie might be good for a small and impressionable child does not make it amusing, enjoyable, or good. Skip it unless you're showing it to the children in your lives and also hate them.

Next: Godzilla vs. Hedorah!

Destroy All Monsters

It is time to Destroy All Monsters, a star-studded movie about many monsters doing many monstrous things. Ishirō Honda returns to the director's chair with Haruo Nakajima retaining his crown as the King of the Monsters. I have no major facts or news to share on this one, so let's get right to it.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- Every monster on Earth has been gathered into one place, a place appropriately called Monsterland. They are trapped by various containment systems and provided with plenty of natural food so they can live relatively peacefully.

- Monsterland is attacked, the human researchers and monster themselves all knocked unconscious with yellow gas.

- The various monster of Monsterland seem to have escaped, causing destruction worldwide!

- The Kilaaks, an alien race, are revealed to be in control of the situation: demanding that humanity surrender to their rule or be destroyed.

- Human story begins here, with resistance to the Kilaaks being critical to the plot. They search for a way to free the monsters (and thus, humanity) from the Kilaaks rule.

- Confident, perhaps too much so, in their strength, the Kilaaks send almost every monster in their control to Tokyo to obliterate it.

- An attack by the humans on the Kilaaks' moon base is successful, breaking their control of the monsters on Earth and switching it to the humans.

- The monsters are sent to Mt. Fuji to finally and fully destroy the Kilaaks' base. As one last defense, King Ghidorah is sent by the Kilaaks to ward off their enemies.

- An epic battle commences, with King Ghidorah fighting Godzilla, Anguirus, Gorosaurus, Rodan, Mothra, and Kumonga while Minilla (baby Godzilla), Manda, and Varan cheer them on. Godzilla stomps one of King Ghidorah's neck near the end and it's actually pretty brutal.

- The Kilaaks' use a final weapon called Fire Dragon to destroy the human's control center so they also have no control over the monsters now. They seem to think this will matter but Godzilla interrupts whatever they were about to say to fuck their base right up just like the humans planned. Everyone dies.

- With the Kilaaks soundly defeated, the monsters return to Monsterland of their own accord so they can be in harmony again.

Kaiju Notes

- Rodan looks goddamn terrible. He always has, but this version is especially bad. Most of the other monsters look pretty much the same but they've brutalized my boy Rodan. King Ghidorah also took a hit in that he is more golden but less magnificent looking. It'll do, but it's not ideal. Your big end scene villain should definitely look as good as your best looking beast, if not better.

- Gorosaurus has an excellent color that they don't emphasize enough. His blue colored back is baller. Just like his first appearance, I think his design is good (basically just a big dinosaur), but I never noticed the super cool colors before.

- Mothra is significantly less moist in this movie, which is great because I have always found larval Mothra quite distressing to look (primarily because she'e so gooey).

- The scene of all of the monsters arriving at the Kilaaks' base to destroy it is actually pretty dope. It's like the Avengers or Justice League assembling, Godzilla leading every other monster. Especially once King Ghidorah arrives, the 1 vs. All aesthetic is very effective.

- Anguirus has a moment where he clamps onto King Ghidorah's neck as Ghidorah takes flight, and it's awesome. He loses this fight, but these little random moments of weirdness are also random moments of greatness.

Quite simply, the movie definitely seems like it was intended to be a culmination or even final film in the series. Many claims exist on the internet and otherwise that this actually was the case, though I've seen no evidence of it. Regardless, Destroy All Monsters is cool to watch because it is like seeing all of the strings pulled together like an Avengers movie. While crossovers between Godzilla and other Toho kaiju have happened before, this film features basically every kaiju at Toho's disposal and it is truly a sight to behold. As stated above, seeing all of the "Earth" monsters gather in one location to take down the villains is honestly quite awesome, and then adding a big fight with King Ghidorah makes it better. The fight could be more spectacular and amazing because it is over very quickly and there's very little use of the kaiju's various abilities, but sadly this movie clearly didn't have the budget it deserved. The monster action is some of the best in the series so far.

While the monster action is top tier, the human story is honestly quite dull. It's quite disappointing to have such a great ending but being in such a boring place beforehand. While we get a tiny amount of kaiju destruction in the 2nd act, the huge majority of the 1st and 2nd acts are dedicated to human's flying around on spaceships and arguing with aliens. It is not a compelling story at all, and my first attempt to watch it had me dozing off about two-thirds of the way into the movie. In its defense I was a bit sleepy anyway, but believe an interesting plot would've helped me get and stay awake and invested. If I had to describe it in any detail I'm honestly not sure I could, except to say that they fight with aliens and take over the monsters in some way that's either not explained or stupid. In the Justice League version of kaiju movies, everything would have been better off with more kaiju involvement.

Incredibly minor nitpick: while on the moon the humans call one of the Kilaak spaceships a "UFO." It's not a UFO if you know exactly what it is (a spaceship) and who it belongs to (the Kilaaks). This is obviously unimportant, but it amused me in the moment.

Conclusion: the last 30 minutes of this movie is pretty much the best 30 minutes in a kaiju movie since 1954. Unlike the original Gojira, however, the human story sucks and must be balanced against the monster fighting. The monster fighting is pretty great, ultimately making this a great addition to the series. If you're at all interested in kaiju movies this is likely an excellent start, as the crap human story will make up for itself when you see a monster stomp on another's neck while it coughs up blood. Other films in the series may be more balanced, but they're not more spectacular.

Next: All Monsters Attack!

Son of Godzilla

Let's talk about Son of Godzilla. It's directed by Jun Fukuda, with Haruo Nakajima of course returning as Godzilla, now a dad. The titular Son of Godzilla is played by newcomer to the franchise Marchan. I'm going to keep this short and sweet and get to talking about the movie as quickly as possible.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- Scientists do weather stuff on an island.

- There's a woman here, unexpectedly.

- There's also giant mantis monsters: Kamacuras.

- A giant egg hatches and a baby Godzilla pops out: it's Minilla!

- Godzilla swings by to save his apparent child. This is a monster island!

- Scientists do boring science stuff and there's a light love story between the island woman and one of the guys. Minilla bonds with the woman and her beau.

- Monster Island isn't over: eventually, the giant angry spider Kumonga also wakes.

- Kumonga tries to kill everybody, monsters and humans alike.

- Realizing they're now in a giant monster turf war, the scientists devise a plan to freeze the island using weather science.

- Godzilla and baby Minilla take on Kumonga and another Kamacuras as the island begins to freeze.

- The humans escape the island safely as the surviving father-son pair slowly hibernate, tugging on our heartstrings as they seem to think they are dying.

Kaiju Notes

- Godzilla does full-on wrestling moves now. He's been getting more mobile in each movie, but at this point he's just like Lizard Stone Cold and I am here for it.

- In Minilla's intro scene there is an absolutely awesome shot of a flaming Kamacuras leg flying above the heads of the human characters escaping from the scene and landing in front of them.

- Kamakuras' play soccer to kick a ball into Minilla's face. Hilarious.

- Kumonga is unsettling. I attribute this mostly to him being uncomfortably hairy.

- New Godzilla suit is ugly as hell. You can't tell in this image, but trust me. Also this image plays into my next point:

- Minilla is a terrible hellspawn. Also his weirdly little body reminds me of Frank Reynolds Wanting to be Pure and I hate it.

First things first: this is a comfort movie, almost like a comfort food. It's not interesting or even particularly good, but decidedly comforting. 80% of the run time is just watching ugly ass Minilla run around while we watch a pretty dull human story. But somehow, it's a good time while not being a good time. Very strange experience, watching this, but it's not as though the concept of comfort movie's make no sense. I attribute part of this to the direction. I am ready to say it: I greatly prefer Fukuda to Honda. The shots I've spent several blogs mentioning now are still here, the aforementioned entirely awesome flaming leg throw, and even the fluff is more engaging than it might be under different direction. Also, having looked him up now, I know that he is also the director of my favorite Godzilla movie that I've seen so far. But we'll get to that.

Of note: Godzilla is a bad dad. After saving Minilla he immediately hits him in the head with his tail and walks off while a human actually takes care of him. Later, Minilla is literally just crying and begging for attention while his dad sleeps. Sure, this could be accounted for by them being animals/monsters and having different needs when it comes to child-rearing, but Minilla's actions tell us otherwise. Unlike a super-independent giraffe or something which just gallops off and comes back at feeding time, Minilla clearly wants love and affection from his pops. Daddy G does provide lessons on how to blow Atomic Breath and other steps in how to be a badass, but that's not really the same as giving Minilla the warm fuzzy feelings he's going to need to think he had a nice childhood. How Godzilla became a father is unclear and never touched on, and I honestly don't want to think about it at all because giant monster sexuality is not in the venn diagram of my interests (for now).

Another interesting note, and this applies to both Honda and Fukuda directed films: Kaiju are getting more aggressive as these movies continue. They have always done violence to each other, and Godzilla did literally murder an at-the-time defenseless Anguirus in Godzilla Raids Again, but even then the violence was fairly "tame." For a spell the violence was relatively non-deadly, many monsters escaping on their own or dying by their own hand instead. But recent films seem to trending toward escalation: King Kong breaking Gorosaurus' jaw in King Kong Escapes, and Kamacuras' attempts to murder a freshly born Minilla in this followed by Godzilla ripping off one of their legs, setting it on fire and throwing it across the island. Kumonga is also literally set on fire by Daddy G, just to ensure he stays dead (after faking his death moments before).

The end scene of the two remaining lizards freezing seems almost out of place in this otherwise charming but insubstantial movie. The kaiju seem to think they're going to die but the human characters are quick to remind us that this is not the case. Nonetheless, Godzilla embracing little Minilla as they settle in for a long hibernation is framed and filmed exactly like a parent comforting a child when they expect the bomb to drop, so it's an oddly specific and narratively unnecessary decision to end the movie on this relatively dour note. Not uncompelling, but truly odd, especially considering everything that came before it essentially just being a lovely jaunt through monster island. Then BLAM, a whole family is dying in front of your eyes as the baby cries and the parent tries to comfort him. Then BLAM AGAIN, they're not dying at all but just going into a nice and safe hibernation. What the hell.

Next: Gorgo