Rampage

Video game adaptations are almost universally bad. Not just bad, terrible. Today's film, Rampage, is an adaptation of a video games. One with which I have a personal connection, as Rampage: World Tour was one of the games I played the most for my Nintendo 64. It was great. Knowing the game (there were others before World Tour), I'm either the target audience of this one or most likely to hate it since I'd know at least some of what's been changed. Guess it's time to find out!

Rampage stars Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as the main character Davis Okoye, while Naomie Harris and Malin Åkerman round out the human cast. Jason Liles portrays the main kaiju of the film, George the albino gorilla. A director who's worked with Dywane Johnson several times, Brad Peyton, is the director on this one. There's very little interesting background on this, as Warner Brothers acquired the rights to the video games and decided to make the movie as a cash grab (as most Hollywood productions are). These intro paragraphs aren't going to shed a lot of light on why these films were made, it's an obvious reason. But the important thing is whether the film is any good despite the history of video game adaptations working against it, so let's skip to that.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- In 1993 (real life), CRISPR was invented/developed as a potential treatment for various genetic disorders. In present day aboard a space station, laboratory mice begin to mutate and eventually destroy the entire station as a result of their mania.

- The debris of the exploding station lands across the US, affecting a crocodile, wolf, and gorilla.

- The gorilla in question is George, friend of former special forces and primatologist Davis Okoye.

- As George grows larger and more aggressive every moment, we discover that the mutation is caused by CRISPR technology which has been modified into a bio-weapon by the Energyne corporation.

- A private military unit is sent to retrieve the wolf affected by the bio-weapon and find themselves eaten by a gigantic wolf instead. George is captured by the government and put on a plane against Davis' advice.

- The evil sibling duo leading Energyne try to attract their experiments gone wrong by using a giant antenna to bring them all to the same location in the hopes of collecting the data from their bodies for development of the CRISPR bio-weapon.

- Predictably, George crashes the plane he's on when the antenna gets his attention. Ralph the Wolf and Lizzie the giant Crocodile also head the same direction.

- When Ralph arrives in Chicago, George and Ralph go on a Rampage as they destroy the city in an attempt to stop the infernal antenna. To make matters worse, Lizzie arrives so now there are 3 giant animals wreaking havoc on the city.

- Davis and his new scientist friend attempt to steal an antidote from Energyne, but find out that it really only reduces aggressiveness and none of the other effects of the CRISPR weapon. They manage to get this antidote into George.

- With George back to his normal personality, Davis and George decide to take down the other monsters before the entire city is hit with a military strike that will likely kill everyone left in the city. Now we've got a kaiju battle baybee!

- The Energyne twins (they may not be twins, who cares) are victims of their own hubris and are alternately eaten and crushed to death by the havoc they've caused.

- George barely manages to stop Ralph, using Lizzie's giant croco-jaws to take his head off. He is impaled in the battle against Lizzie, managing to take her out but only after doing great damage to himself.

- George survives (though perhaps barely), and begins to help clean up the city he destroyed. Davis is now besties with a giant gorilla instead just a normal bigass one. End film.

Kaiju Notes 

- George is a giant ape. Albino, so at least he has some unique coloring.

- Ralph is a giant wolf. He also sprouts bat wings sometimes!

- Lizzie is a giant crocodile who also looks like a dinosaur sometimes.

- It's all pretty easy to understand. Giant animals.

Rampage is an audacious film with very little on its mind besides the spectacle of giant animals fighting each other, sometimes with the help of Dwayne. It's extremely hard to think of anything to really focus on with this one. It's fun and I enjoyed it. Bioweapons are bad! That's... about the extent of it. The movie doesn't seem to have a message or a point besides being an entertaining adaptation of a series of video games that began in the 80's, and it succeeded at that. Dwayne Johnson remains charismatic (if not a bit one note because he plays the same character in almost every movie). George is cute and fun. Ralph and Lizzie have no personalities besides being rage monsters. The movie is popcorn entertainment, but succeeds on that front. Let's not belabor the point. Not all video game adaptations have to be terrible, as it turns out.

Next: Godzilla: King of the Monsters!

Colossal

Kaiju movies can be funny. Death Kappa tried it, Shin Godzilla had some undeniable intentional comedic themes, and now we have Colossal. A dark comedy directed by Nacho Vigalondo, Colossal is a "lite-kaiju" movie for reasons you'll understand as you read on. The stars of this one are not really kaiju actors (especially not in suits), but instead the very famous Anne Hathaway and Jason Sudeikis. Originally billing itself as "the cheapest Godzilla movie ever made" when it was shown at the Cannes Film Festival, Colossal is a story about a lot of things: the kaiju being more metaphor than character in a manner we have not ever seen in any movie we've covered yet.

This film does have some interesting drama behind the scenes... That promo line, "the cheapest Godzilla movie ever made," alongside using some unauthorized images of Godzilla to bring in potential investors actually got the film in a bit of trouble. Toho, the copyright owners/creators of Godzilla, did not take kindly to the producers using Godzilla to finance their upcoming film and filed a lawsuit before the film even began filming. The resutling settlement that took place before the movie was widely released which caused the film's setting (for the kaiju elements) to move from Tokyo to Seoul and a promise that no Godzilla derivatives would appear. The greatest irony of all? Colossal had a budget of $15 million dollars, which is tiny for an American studio release but obviously quite a bit to most people. The original Gojira had a budget of 100 million yen, the equivalent of about $3 million today. Even Shin Godzilla, released the same year as Colossal's film festival premiere, had a budget equivalent to $15 million, making the fact that Colossal got in trouble for using Godzilla's image in its early stages and the "cheapest" tagline completely unnecessary because it wasn't even true! Hilarious. That all said, let's talk about this dark comedy.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- In Seoul, South Korea, we see a giant monster appear. 25 years later, we meet Gloria as she comes home after yet another night drinking. Her boyfriend breaks up with her and packs her things, so Gloria has little choice but to return to her hometown alone.

- Once back in town she coincidentally comes across old acquaintance Oscar. He owns a bar (perfect!) and offers her a job.

- Oscar shows signs of who he really is right away when Gloria almost smooches one of his friends and Oscar reacts very strongly but frames it as concern for her sake.

- Waking up to the news of a giant monster randomly materializing in Seoul, stomping through the city, and then simply disappearing into thin air, Gloria is shocked. She drinks to cope, predictably.

- Waking up to Oscar showing up at her house to offer her a TV they apparently discussed last night but that she doesn't remember, there's been another monster attack. 

- This attack being less severe with the monster mostly standing around looking confused, Gloria notices that the creature shares a particular gesture with her. It seems crazy, but maybe they're connected?

- Gloria conducts a test that confirms she is in fact the monster. While hanging with her drinking buddies (including Oscar) she drunkenly reveals her new secret.

- After accidentally crashing a helicopter into her head (in her defense, it did shoot her first) Gloria gets overwhelmed and ends up falling down. She wakes up panicked to find out how many people she killed when she crashed, but this news comes secondary to the reveal that when Oscar enters the park he also emerges in Seoul as a giant robot.

- Gloria decides to make an attempt at amends by having someone translate some Korean characters and writes an apology in the ground at her next opportunity. She stops drinking, trying to be better given everything.

- Gloria makes a move on the cute guy in her friend group and wakes up in the morning with him to find that the Oscar-Robot is taunting Seoul with threats of destruction. She confronts him in the playground and even slaps him in the face to the cheers of everyone who thinks it's just two monsters fighting.

- Oscar begins to finally act out more obviously, using his power over Gloria as her boss and a threat to the people of Seoul to control her, constantly vacillating between apologetic/kind and abusive.

- During one of Oscar's episodes, Gloria remembers the incident that caused the kaiju connection, when they were hit by lightning inside the playground while carrying toys that look like their respective creatures. She realizes he's always been this way and confronts him just as the air raid warnings go off indicating the time to destroy or save Seoul is nearly upon us.

- The two have a fight in Gloria's house where she breaks all of her furniture trying to stop him, but he escapes and heads toward the park. They square up to fight in the park, but Oscar is bigger and stronger than her so takes her down easily. While she tries to get up, Oscar intentionally steps on several buildings while she begs him to stop.

- Saying he will do this every morning if she leaves, Gloria seems despondent until she comes up with a plan for the next morning. She flies to Seoul.

- When the air raid sirens go off, both parties prepare to confront the other. Gloria uses her human body in Seoul to manifest her monster body in the park, now able to handle Oscar quite easily since now she's bigger and stronger. She throws him into the horizon, finally bringing an end to his robotic reign of terror.

Kaiju Notes 

- Monster-Gloria is a pretty generic looking beast, resembling a goblin as much as it does any animal or human. Considering it's now really the point of the movie, it's difficult to really fault it for not being a complex design. It does have a relatively scary countenance, but it shows a degree of expressiveness that really helps Gloria's thoughts and intentions come across.

- Robot-Oscar is a little more intentionally designed, having a square head and a singular red eye surrounded by little robot horns. The singular red eye (and perhaps automaton-ness) help make it seem a bit menacing.

If it's not entirely obvious, and it should be, this is a metaphor about abusive relationships. Gloria really just goes from one to another, as her boyfriend in the beginning of the movie is clearly fed up with her alcoholism and antics but displays that same "fed-up-ness" even when she's in recovery and in a better position. Oscar, of course, isn't her boyfriend (and could only barely be called a friend by the time he starts acting out) but is the most obvious case of the abusive men Gloria has to deal with. Oscar is an abusive relationship that's primarily empowered by the kaiju connection he and Gloria share with the people of Seoul as his pawns. And it's not just Gloria caught in his tangled web of abuse, as his friends seem unable to do anything against him when either he acts out or turns against them directly.

Joel, the cute guy Gloria starts a little fling with, is the worst. He knows how Oscar behaves and the consequences of it and leaves Gloria to do all of the work in trying to prevent it. I have to assume there's some sort of reason behind why he does nothing and watches Gloria get beat up instead of just punching his so-called friend Oscar in the dick, but it definitely makes me hate him. He does watch happily the television when Gloria confronts him from Seoul, but he was the person most able to actually do something about the situation and it just infuriates me that he didn't.

Both of the lead actors are great. Gloria's growing confidence and subtle recovery comes across quite well, and Sudeikis is quite good at unpeeling the onion of Oscar's rage as we go, first seeming fairly normal before becoming more and more noticeably unhinged. Anne Hathaway in particular is putting in a lot of work by focusing her performance on her body language and expressions, not getting the chance to make the same monologues as Sudeikis but manages to show Gloria's raveling at the same time as Oscar's unraveling.

Colossal is not a complex film. Even this review (is that what I do here? Reviews?) is relatively short because there aren't GIANT COMPLEX IDEAS to be explored. Abusive relationships, metaphor, kaiju, go. Great performances. But Colossal doesn't need to be complicated: it's great. Do yourself a favor and check it out.

Next: Godzilla Trilogy (Netflix)!

Attack on Titan (The Movie)

If you've heard anything about anime in the past 5 years, you've probably heard about Attack on Titan. Like most anime, Attack on Titan is based on an original manga/comic series of the same name. But this is a blog about movies, so let's talk about the director of Gamera: Guardian of the Universe (an awesome movie) made a movie based on a manga that is not the anime but at least related to it in that they're both based on the same thing. That director is Shinji Higuchi, whose work we previously discussed in the 90's Gamera trilogy. I consider this person one of the best kaiju movies directors in the biz, so here's to hoping he can replicate that quality with this adaptation.

As always, I want to credit the monster actors, but have been unable to find anyone credited as the Titans despite them clearly having at least some human element in their creation (likely human actors augmented with CGI. Word on the internet streets says I am correct). So instead we'll give credit to the 3 main "human" characters: Haruma Miura, Kiko Mizuhara, and Kanata Hongō star as Eren, Mikasa, and Armin (respectively).

There's not a whole lot to explain about the background of this one that wasn't done above, so let's see if Mr. Higuchi can repeat the quality of his previous forays into kaiju film! Fingers crossed.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- Over 100 years ago, the Titans appeared. Those who survived the Titan War have built 3 large walls around their city and stay safe inside them now.

- Our three main characters are Armin, Erin, and Mikasa. Eren is the main character and is a dreamer who just wants something besides living and dying inside the city's walls.

- The kids seek to escape from the city to go see the sea, and Eren casts doubt that Titans even exist as one hasn't been seen in over 100 years. As this happens they are caught by guards and Eren starts a fight. He is saved by Souda, an old acquaintance who prevents the guards from shooting him.

- Souda tells Eren of a scouting mission that will lead outside the walls and Eren gets excited. Before he can be too hype though, a tremor begins and the wall begins to shake. A giant, steaming Titan appears above them.

- This Colossal Titan breaks down the wall and it and many other Titans invade and begin to eat people. They are hit with cannons and many other weapons but simply regenerate their wounds, making them functionally unstoppable.

- Mikasa is separated from Eren and targeted by a Titan while trying to rescue a baby. Eren tries to make it outside to rescue her but is too late, but it does manage to save his life as the shelter he was previously in is torn apart by Titans and the occupants devoured.

- We next see Eren and Armin as member sof the military preparing for a plan to reclaim the lost part of the city (the farmland of Monzen). The military has developed a weapon to fight Titans: Omni-Directional Mobility Gear. This allows the user to moves in any direction and use swords to attack the nape of the Titans' neck, their only vulnerability.

- On their mission, Eren and his squadron are attacked by a Titan Baby, which is super fucking creepy, and several other Titans. The survivors, few of them that there are are, are saved by Captain Shikishima and Mikasa. Turns out she survived the invasion!

- Mikasa is (predictably) traumatized now, having barely survived her Titan attack when Captain Shikishima saved her from inside the jaws of the thing. She now lives only to kill Titans.

- As one of Eren's compatriots makes a very forward move on him by sticking his hand on her boob and asking him to be a father to her child, they are attacked by a Titan and she is eaten.

- Eren and his squad are now fighting an impossible battle against Titans, but at least have the aid of the incredibly skilled Shikishima and Mikasa.

- Eren eventually makes a final stand but ultimately has his leg bitten off. He falls onto a rooftop, alive but clearly unable to do much else for himself.

- Armin is next on the chopping block, being grabbed by a Titan near Eren and all of his companions being unable to prevent it. As Armin slides down the Titan's throat, Eren throws himself into the Titans' maw and launches Armin out. In return, of course, he ends up in the Titans' belly after losing an arm.

- Mikasa, low on the gas needed for her ODM Gear, goes for revenge against the Titans but (obviously) finds herself overwhelmed and helpless. Fortunately for her, another Titan literally bursts from the one that ate Eren, killing it (by pulling it's jaw apart).

- This is Eren, in Attack Titan form, and he proceeds the beat the living shit out of and kill all the other Titans. The sun comes up so the Titans retreat (they're nocturnal) and Eren is carved out of the Titan shell he was inhabiting.

- Having just been a Titan, Eren has regrown his arm and leg in his human form. So turns out Eren can become a Titan and fight back, which should really even the odds in the future. But that's the end of this first film.

Kaiju Notes 

- Titans are... horrifying. They are essentially giant, deformed, naked humans (with no genitals or nipples) who eat people but don't subsist on them. They all appear different sizes and shapes, but share the ability to regenerate from all wounds except being slashed across the nape of the neck..

- The Colossal Titan adds some pretty epic abilities on top of that, giving off absurd amounts of hear and being incredibly large compared to the others.

- The Attack Titan doesn't seem to have any unique abilities, but does at least have a distinct look. It does retain Eren's knowledge of how to kill Titans and fight, so it is a much more effective Titan than any of the other thus far seen.

This being a blog about kaiju movies, you might be surprised to learn that I am a nerd. This means that I have seen the anime this movie is based on. And with that anime based on the original manga, at the point of this film we're 2 adaptations deep. So, I know what comes from where and what's changed between the two "moving picture" versions. First and foremost, the characters are quite significantly different: simpler is the biggest change, but their personalities have shifted as well. I would say, quite honestly they're all three pretty boring. Especially Mikasa, who has gone from severe girl who is always the most badass person in any room she's in to... sidekick. Eren's changed from vengeance driven hardcore determinator to regular army grunt. And Armin has shifted from tactical genius to character who I genuinely don't remember being in the movie except when he almost gets eaten (like 3 times).

That's the downside. Here's the upside: pretty much everything else about it is pretty entertaining. This movie lacks depth of character, but of course it does it's adapting a much longer story into a bite-sized chunk. And that bite-sized chunk is actually pretty thoroughly entertaining. The overall impression of this movie is really more horror film than action movie, and that really contributes to the enjoyment factor. And now's the time where I say something controversial: this film as an introduction to the story is better than the actual beginning of the anime. Up to the point in the show where this movie ends: I'd watch the movie any day. I've seen enough to know that the show does pick up, but if I'm being perhaps too honest: the 1st season sucks and I have no idea why people were so into it. But this movie? Pretty entertaining. Lacks some depth of character, true, but that's not the worst sin when you're too busy being horrified/entertained.

Onto a specific point: the invasion scene near the beginning of the film is tremendously effective. The Titans appearing for the first time in these people's lifetimes and proving impervious to all of their weapons is a gripping sequence. The Titans kill indiscriminately and gleefully and the humans face some genuine horrors in their attempts to escape/survive. People's reactions vary, of course, but we see the range from panic to cooperation to acceptance of their fate to suicide. It's a pretty effective sequence when it comes to illustrating the raw terror of a Titan attack, and more explicit than anything we've seen in a kaiju movie thus far. Every Titan scene borders on horror movie territory, which honestly makes a lot of sense for movies about giant monsters but hasn't been done yet so far (probably because it'd be a huge downer). It is, honestly, a bit of an evolution in the genre. While the original Gojira was more akin to a horror movie than most of the ones which follows, Attack on Titan truly embraces it as the point, and it makes the Titan scenes quite disturbing throughout the entire film.

Overall, I liked this movie a lot more than I expected to. A movie adaptation of an anime which is an adaptation of a comic is usually a nightmare (see almost any anime movie made thus far), but Attack on Titan is genuinely entertaining, one could even argue good. The choice to make a horror-kaiju movie is a bold one, and pays off greatly. Showing the scale, danger, and consequences of kaiju battles has always been something I appreciated, but this one adds terror and dread to the equation and makes you I feel how terrible the situation is. It is likley not a coincidence that the director who managed to make the weight of kaiju battles feel real in his Gamera trilogy is also able to do the same here. The special effects are solid but not winning any awards, and the characters lack depth but do at least manage to not be actively annoying or dumb. One could argue that their lack of personality might be intentional to emphasize the lack of identity amongst both the monstrous Titans and their opposition the military, but that's stretching it. Probably just weak character writing. But Attack on Titan is a good choice if you're looking for entertainment value, distinct horror-tinge, or something relatively unique in the genre.

Next: Shin Godzilla

Godzilla (2014)

I mentioned in the previous post that we're doing mostly American movies for a while now, and here comes the second one: the first time in this semi-chronological blog that we've done two movies in a row from a country that is not Japan. The Godzilla film from 1998 was, for a time, the only American made Godzilla movie, but this changed in 2014 when director Gareth Edwards brought us Godzilla (2014). It's a proper remake, essentially creating a completely new timeline for the character, without even any real reference to the original Gojira. Origin stories can be tough, often because they can feel so unnecessary, so this will be a fun exploration of whether Godzilla even needs origin stories at this point.

We're dealing with CGI kaiju these days, so the stars of this show are primarily Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Ford and Ken Watanabe as Dr. Ishiro Serizawa. There's not a whole lot of background info to explore about this one except that it apparently took nearly 10 years to make and began as a short film. The producers, directors, and other creative minds on the film also apparently intended to replicate (but not copy) the look and feel of original Toho-created Godzilla. Rather than go for a "unique and new" American version of Godzilla (see Zilla), they intentionally built a Godzilla designed to resemble and blend into the Toho universe. I respect that. Last note: this MonsterVerse series, like Pacific Rim before it, is produced by Legendary Pictures.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- It's 1999, in the Phillipines, and main character Dr. Serizawa is investigating a collapsed cavern. Inside, they find the skeleton of some giant creature. Two parasitic spores are attached, one of which has already hatched.

- In Janjira, Japan, a nuclear reactor begins to meltdown. The family of dad Joe, mom Sandra, and child Ford are affected by this, primarily by Joe having to seal his wife inside the exploding reactor and watching her die (on his birthday!).

- 15 years later, Ford is a soldier who is called back to his former hometown of Janjira when his father is arrested after violating the permanent quarantine set up in Janjira.

- Ford and Joe are caught inside Janjira and arrested by Monarch, the organization Dr. Serizawa works for and apparently in charge of the quarantined area. Joe is ultimately proved correct when the cause of the nuclear reactor meltdown turns out to be the hatched spore from the first scene that has been feeding on the reactor for 15 years and now transforms into a giant monster they dub MUTO.

- As the MUTO destroys the facility in its escape, Joe is injured in the whole mess and dies. Ford is now left alone in Japan with his family in San Francisco. 

- The plot is explained to Ford: giant monsters including Godzilla exist in the world and the MUTO is just one such example. The MUTO was talking to something, which Monarch wants to find out and stop. If all goes particularly poorly, Godzilla will return to "restore order to nature."

- Spoilers: Godzilla comes back. After the MUTO makes a scene in Honolulu, Godzilla rises from the ocean and causes a tsunami. The two beasts argue very briefly before both leaving the area.

- Monarch tracks the monsters, Godzilla chasing after the MUTO after hearing its mating call. It turns out it is headed to Nevada after the other spore that was found in the original cavern. Despite being vivisected, analysed, and experimented on it appears that the other spore also survived and there is a second MUTO.

- Monarch is too late to do anything about it, and the second (larger, female) MUTO also hatches from her chrysalis and destroys Las Vegas as it heads toward its mate.

- After a plan by the military to destroy the 3 monsters off the western coast of the US fails (and only makes the MUTOs stronger), the 3 kaiju converge in San Francisco.

- With the warhead that was intended to kill the monsters being activated and now in San Francisco, Ford is sent in to help deactivate it before it destroys the entirety of the city his family is in.

- Ford attempts to get to and deactivate the warhead while Godzilla and the 2 MUTOs have a battle of the century. This is when the movie really gets online because we're here for motherfucking kaiju fights boi.

- While Godzilla is fighting both MUTOs and having a hard time of it, they are distracted when Ford and his team destroy the MUTO nest (and all of their eggs). This gives Godzilla an opening to finally unleash his Atomic Breath which briefly turns the tide before they unite against him again. 

- Godzilla smashes the male MUTO into a skyscraper, which kills the MUTO but also drops the entire building on top of himself, taking Godilla out alongside the smaller MUTO.

- With Godzilla downed, the female MUTO shifts her attention to the military, which she may or may not realize destroyed their nest. Ford and his team futilely attempt to fight back but almost everyone is killed when Ford finds himself face to face with the MUTO with nothing but a sidearm to defend himself.

- Fortunately for Ford, Godzilla rallies and sneak attacks, biting the MUTO on the neck before Atomic Breathing down its throat until its head detaches from its body. It's a badass move that is unique to this New American Godzilla.

- The next morning, Ford is rescued and Godzilla appears to have returned to land and died. As cleanup happens around him, Godzilla wakes up as Ford is reunited with his family. People are shocked Godzilla lives, but celebrate as he is given credit for saving the city.

- Godzilla roars in triumph as he heads back to the sea.

Kaiju Notes 

- Legendary Godzilla is a chunky little monkey and I love it. His feet are beautifully tender but thick as tree trunks, and he just looks somehow pissed off all the time but huggable. Most Godzillas in the past have had vaguely human proportions but this guy is built like a brick shithouse, all muscle and volume with no mind given to mobility. Lastly: Godzilla's roar is... awesome. It's not mimicry of anything Toho has used while also being something that seems respectful to it but unique to this version of the Big G. I am a very big fan of this Godzilla roar.

- The MUTO(s) is insect-like. It's not a particularly terrible design, but a bit uninteresting. With its sleek design, muted colors, and red visor-like eyes, it could also just be a robot and would look pretty much the same and give the same vibes. On the other hand, it is always nice to see a creature with an "unusual" number of appendages, whether that's Ghidorah's 3 heads or the MUTO's 8 limbs.

- The male MUTO is also much smaller than the female, being sleeker, smaller, and using the smaller size to have the ability to fly. He also has a very useful weapon in his EMP blast which he seems to have developed after absorbing nuclear radiation for 15 years. The female MUTO has a similar weapon, but more of a shield than a blast. It also appears to weaken Godzilla's Atomic Breath, somewhat crippling the Big G's greatest weapon.

- The female MUTO is big as hell, being nearly Godzilla's chunky size. She tremendous, like twice the size of the male, but lacks the wings (and therefore mobility) of her male counterpart. She also has an egg sac with dozens of prominent glowing eggs, so there's also the idea that far more than 2 MUTOs can be in the world if they're allowed to continue.

Godzilla is a somewhat complicated case. First things first: it's actually a solid movie. Downsides, however: it's pretty boring for the first 30-40 minutes. Until the first MUTO appears and especially once Godzilla appears, this is a movie weighed down by all of the exposition that has to be done to get it moving. I think this ultimately pays off, but mileage is definitely going to vary. Once the various kaiju appear things do pick up quite a bit and their scenes are all very cool, but before we see a big monster a part of me was thinking "can we do this already"?

But once the movie picks up? I think it's quite good. It's an excellent mesh of the human and monster stories, a balance which is always difficult to successfully navigate. Ford's journey to get home paralleled by Godzilla and the MUTOs battles is an effective storytelling choice that actually makes the human element a part of the story without being a complete distraction that pulls us away from what we actually care about. The last 40-50 minutes is fairly spectacular... spectacle, now focusing on the Godzilla vs MUTO action now that all the pieces are in place. There's no arbitrary wins or random coincidences that turn the tide of battle, and both Godzilla and the MUTOs appear dangerous to each other without having to make the other look weak. If kaiju battle is professional wrestling (and it is), this is a 4 star match easy. According to the director this is an intentional slow burn, and I believe it because it absolutely works for me, a true connoisseur of film.

One thing I appreciate about this movie is that the various monsters are forces of nature. No trying to understand the mind or humanity of Godzilla the Giant Lizard, or the MUTOs being remotely concerned about the impact their nest might have on San Francisco. MUTOs want to mate and possibly take over the world, Godzilla wants to stop and kill them. Easy to explain, easy to understand, easy to convey. When Godzilla first appears on land he literally floods an entire city, but this is entirely an accident or natural consequence of this big mofo coming out of the ocean. Even when the female MUTO wakes up and destroys all of Las Vegas, she doesn't actually target anything that's not immediately in her way. The wake of destruction behind her is a straight line: the monsters don't care about causing wanton destruction in either direction. This makes the monsters more like volcanoes than "characters," which is a characterization that I have always enjoyed and is typically lost more and more as the various kaiju series continue. Gojira Godzilla was this, but by Son of Godzilla he was somehow a loving father who just wanted to get along with humanity before shifting between his heroic and villainous personas as needed for the script. I love a giant monster that's just a giant monster.

I also enjoy that by the end of this movie the humans seem to understand the same thing as above. When Godzilla wakes up in the middle of a destroyed San Francisco he is actually cheered on by the people whose homes and businesses he helped destroy. It's not that they wanted him alive, most people would probably prefer that Godzilla died alongside the MUTOs he killed - it's better for property values at least. But he wasn't being malicious and he stopped the creatures that were more of an obvious threat: a tsunami that washed away the raging inferno. Both events are dreaded and horrible, but one is at least "helping" a situation it didn't cause. When Godzilla next appears on land people will flee, as they should, but at least they seem to realize that Godzilla is on their side, as much as a creature which doesn't run by the morality of humankind can be.

Godzilla is good. Which is good news, because this film is the beginning of the American MonsterVerse, with several connected films and sequels to come. If for some reason you can't bring yourself to watch foreign monster films, this would be an great place to begin a kaiju movie journey.

Next: Attack on Titan!

Pacific Rim

After the end of the Millennium series of Godzilla we have only had a few extra Japanese kaiju movies made. Around this time, American producers seemed to pick up some interest in giant monsters. So the next several movies we cover are primarily going to be American releases! Finally, the Americans have gotten on board with how awesome kaiju are. The first of these films we're going through is Pacific Rim, directed by the legendary Guillermo del Toro. It is also the 21st century, so the era of suit actors for the monsters is functionally completely over. Our monsters (and robots, in this case) are now CGI. We will talk about suit actors in more detail in a later post. But it is something I will miss.

Pacific Rim is a movie about robots fighting Kaiju, so we in lieu of suit actors for the creatures we now have lots of human characters as the pilots of the robots. The most prominent stars of this one are Charlie Hunnam as Raleigh Becket, Rinko Kikuchi is Mako Mori, Idris Elba as Stacker Pentecost, and Charlie Day as Dr. Newt Geiszler.

There's no significant background drama to this one. It's a movie that was made by an American studio helmed by a Mexican director taking place primarily in China. Del Toro has claimed that the theme of the movie is empathy and/or togetherness, so if that's not a perfect example of that I don't know what is. Let's go!

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- Some years ago, giant monsters (called Kaiju in the movie) came out of the ocean and destroyed several cities and killed many people before humanity built giant robots called Jaegers that could fight back.

- Main character Raleigh pilots Gipsy Danger with his brother, as all Jaegers are piloted by 2+ pilots. On a fateful mission fighting a Kaiju, his brother is killed when he's ripped out of the cockpit, but Raleigh somehow manages to survive and even finish off their foe.

- Retired from Kaiju fighting life, Raleigh is brought back to the ranks with the promise of one last mission which will end the Kaiju threat for good.

- The plan is to go to the source of the Breach, the interdimensional portal allowing Kaiju to come to Earth, and blow it up with a giant bomb. This is time critical as the Kaiju attacks are coming faster and faster each time and they are expecting a double event (multiple Kaiju in one day) within a week.

- Still needing a 2nd pilot, Raleigh holds tryouts with everyone before finding a bond with Mako Mori, the adopted daughter of the boss Stacker Pentecost.

- In a training exercise, Mako loses control and nearly destroys the control center with the plasma cannon. Proving Stacker's initial hesitance to let her pilot correct, she and Raleigh are grounded.

- Shortly thereafter, a Kaiju emerges from near Hong Kong. All of the remaining 3 Jaegers are deployed, with Gipsy Danger left behind.

- 2 of the remaining 3 Jaegers (and their pilots) are killed when the Kaiju surprises everyone with an ambush partner (a double event), which also lures the 3rd robot Striker Eureka into the battle, only to be completely disabled with an EMP weapon one of the kaiju has.

- Gipsy Danger, being the last option and completely analog (nuclear), finally joins the battle since no one else is available to stop the 2 remaining kaiju. It pretty handily fucks them up, though does get taken into (and falls out of) the stratosphere in the process.

- Back on the ground, one of the pilots of Striker Eureka has been injured and is unable to continue the fight. But Marshal Stacker Pentecost is going to be the 2nd pilot of Striker Eureka despite knowing that piloting another Jaeger is going to kill him (after a past incident).

- Once under the ocean and approaching the Breach, Gipsy Danger quickly loses an arm and Striker Eureka is almost completely disabled because now there are 3 Kaiju with which to do battle.

- Revising the plan to have Gispy Danger explode it's nuclear core inside the Breach, Striker Eureka lures the monsters in before setting off their own bomb (and, of course, dying) in an explosion so powerful that it literally displaces the ocean.

- Heading into the Breach, Raleigh evacuates Mako before riding Gipsy Danger through the entire wormhole and making it face to face with their alien invaders. He sets Gipsy Danger to explode before riding his own evac pod back to the surface. Gispy Danger explodes in a fancy light show.

- Barely surviving, and the only Jaeger pilots to survive this entire endeavor, Raleigh and Mako simply touch heads with no words necessary as they have now been in each other's brains for quite some time.

Kaiju Notes 

- The focus in this film is definitely the Jaegers over the Kaiju, quite different from most movies we cover on this blog. That said, the Jaegers are pretty cool. The Kaiju have clear design elements as well, but they tend to be grayish amalgamations of animals. Still clearly well-loved, but the focus is on the robots.

- (Almost) All of the Jaegers have cool shit in their design. Gipsy Danger has a sweetass turbine in its chest, Crimson Typhoon has three arms and is piloted by three brothers with spinning blades on each hand, Cherno Alpha is just a giant hulking beast, and Striker Eureka is... a pretty generic robot, but does have missile launchers hidden beneath it's chest plate.

- The Kaiju on the other hand, are pretty much just amalgamations of animals. There's a shark one, a gorilla looking guy, a fishy one, a crab-ish one. It's hard to make any particular assessments when the Kaiju are not the star of the show. They're more interesting in their abilities than in their appearance, and even those are pretty generic outside of the scene in Hong Kong where the Kaiju brought some interesting weapons to the table.

- The Jaegers, on the other hand, truly seem to use their robotic nature to its full advantage: hidden weapons and design elements that would never be "natural" all in the same creature. Gipsy Danger, for instance, has a rocket in the elbows to extra punching power, a plasma cannon built into each hand, and a kickass sword which can function as either solid blades or whips. It would make zero sense as part of a natural creature, but in robots it's the perfect combination of ingenuity and utility.

I love this movie. You'd think with a focus on robots rather than monsters that that might hurt my interest in the movie because I'm here for monsters not robots. Here's the dirty secret of this blog, don't tell anybody: robots are cooler than monsters. Who's my favorite kaiju? Gigan, a robot. If they made more films about robots (especially giant ones), this would be a blog about robot movies. So, Pacific Rim is great. It's not the most thematically dense or rich film, there's few important themes, it's not complex or leave you questioning. It's a movie about giant robots punching giant monsters in their giant faces, with the directorial excellence of Guillermo del Toro behind it. What more do you really need? It's not going to change the world, and it doesn't need to: it's baller.

That said, there's not a whole lot else to be said about it. I like it, it's nice. What else? ROBOTS COOL. What else?

Okay but I do have two things - the first is the film's biggest weakness. I feel like a we know enough about the pilots of Gipsy Danger and Striker Eureka to follow a general character arc for them. And the movie itself is relatively bleak, with only a few people surviving to the end. It seems that part of the message of this movie is truly "war is hell," and we do see that on a resource level but we don't feel it on an emotional one. When 2 of the 4 remaining Jaegers (and their crews) die in Hong Kong, we understand this is bad but we know nothing about the characters so it's difficult if not impossible to sympathize with them. I have seen this movie no less than 5 times in my life and could not even tell you the name of the pilots in either Cherno Alpha or the Crimson Typhoon. I know the Crimson Typhoon pilots are triplet brothers and I think the Cherno Alpha team are father and daughter, but they get absolutely no attention so when they die it really seems more like "aw damn that robot died' and not "aw damn those people died". Some sort of characterization or even knowing their names would potentially go a long way in making their deaths and the loss of more people on this mission to literally save the world hold more weight. Raleigh and Mako could have been avenging their lost compatriots rather than beating up big monsters because Kaiju are dangerous. Just a bit of wasted potential on the character front. It's not as though the robots themselves have any personality outside of the pilots, so it wasn't like there wasn't space for a few more personalities.

The only other significant thing I can think to mention is that Pacific Rim is a great example of subtlety in movie-making. The characters have thoughts and hope and dreams which are implied but largely left untouched, as things might happen in real life. Mako and Stacker being adopted family is basically never officially acknowledged, the grudging respect that the younger of the Striker Eureka pilots develops for Raleigh and Mako goes unmentioned, and Mako and Raleigh's apparent romance is left at apparent. These are just three examples, but all point to the same thing I'm going for here. It's impossible to do a movie like this without exposition, but if anything ever tried to pull it off it's Pacific Rim. This is something I really appreciate because 1) exposition and explaining every thought and feeling your characters have it boring and 2) it leaves room for interpretation. Does drifting with someone really show you every memory someone has? That seems... intense. Does Mako now have the memories of both Raleigh and his dead brother? How does Hercules feel about sending his son on a suicide mission? Why is everyone's name so damn strange? Lack of explanation, but I dig it!

Pacific Rim is dope and it does dope shit. End of. Watch it if you have literally any interest in either kaiju or robots (or both)!

Next: Godzilla (2014 film)!

Death Kappa

Death Kappa is a relatively rare item: a kaiju movie based on myth rather than an established franchise or completely original characters. Directed by Tomoo Haraguchi, this one also comes with a certain sense of humor built into its fabric, even the name. Going into this one, I know very little about it because when I was compiling a list of films to do for this blog I decided to choose this one based almost entirely on its name. In my defense, this was not a cultural landmark so a lot of information about it on the internet is pretty sparse. Let's get to it.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- Failed pop star/idol Kanako returns to her hometown to find it full of people with what seem to be radiation sickness. When she sees her grandmother for the first time in years, a group of rambunctious youths hit her with their car before driving off and knocking a statue of a kappa off a cliff into the sea.

- Kanako's grandmother, in her dying breaths, asks her to take care of thekKappa. This prompts Kanako to become the new guardian of the family shrine (unsurprisingly dedicated to a/the kappa).

- In the sea, the kappa statue awakens. Shortly thereafter, a creature attacks the youths who knocked the kappa statue it into the sea, who seem high as a kite.

- During the process of these multiple attacks, a man appears and kidnaps the girl in the group using a taser. He's creepy. Kanako also sees the kappa eating cucumbers (because kappas love cucumbers).

- The next day, some of Kanako's friends find her CDs and play them loudly. The kappa dances outside until they notice it. The group becomes friends with Kappa. At night, they are attacked and kidnapped by the creepy guy and his lady accomplice.
- Inside the lair of her kidnappers, Kanako finds herself surrounded by horrific artifacts and creatures, including ugly amphibuous creatures called Umihikos and a dessicated corpse in a wheelchair. 

- Umihikos were apparently created using cells of the Kappa during World War II as an attempt to turn Japanese soldiers into these amphibious super soldiers to turn the tide by invading America, but never managed to take hold because of how inhumane the project was. But this woman has continued her grandfather's research to create Umihikos, though it's not clear if she intends to take over the world.

- Threatened by the Umihikos, their creator, and her collaborators, Kappa shows up to protect Kanako. The Umihikos seem to stand some chance before Kanako destroys their control panel and paralyzes them. The scientist wields a machine gun and kills everyone and destroys everything except Kanako, as Kappa protects her using his turtle shell back.

- Upset, the scientist decides to unleash the atomic bomb she keeps in the lab, to destroy the lab and the entire village. I guess this... causes the Umihikos to fuse and grow to giant size and start ravaging the city? Either way, there's a giant monster now, called Hangyolas.

- The military confronts Hangyolas, managing to do damage but definitely not emerge victorious. Hangyolas breathes fire to destroy the tanks and planes before all of his foes run away in fear. 

- The military stands no chance, but good for everyone that Kappa was also mutated by the nuclear bomb and rises as the giant Death Kappa. He faces off with the Hangyolas, occasionally aided by the miltary delivering giant cucumbers to him.

- Death Kappa manages to make Hangyolas destroy himself, but then turns to destroying the city around him with his brand new mouth laser that he didn't use in the fight against the other giant monster.

- Kanako reappears, having somehow survived the literal nuclear explosion, and sweet talks Death Kappa into calming down and floating away into the sea.

Kaiju Notes 

- (Death) Kappa is based on the mythological kappa monster, as explained by the movie: a kind of ghoblin that inhabits rivers and ponds. With a plate on their heads and a turtle like shell on their back, they're expert swimmers and sumo wrestlers. The plate on their heads is also a weakness, and they love cucumbers.

- Kappa is fucking hideous. I'm not a big fan of killing things just cause they look weird, but I make an exception for kappas, apparently. This thing is a total abomination and its a sin to let it continue.

- The Umihikos are also quite ugly, but nowhere near as awful as Kappa. They're relatively nondescript, being humanoid looking but if you put their heads into a bloatfish. Boring.

- Hangyolas is the only monster in this movie that seems to have had any design put into it. It's not going to win any awards, but it's definitely not as atrocious as (Death) Kappa, and seems to be a semi-original idea since Kappa's appearance is really just modeled on the creatures of myth.

First things first: if that plot description above sounds particularly ridiculous: it is. This movie is clearly supposed to be funny. It's not. I regret choosing to watch this when I planned out all of the movies for this blog. This is the "Super Shark vs. KrakenOpolis" of Japanese cinema: a waste of time that no one tried with, and figured some tongue in cheek moments where military men call out for their mothers when they die at the hands of a giant monster would make up for the general shittiness of every other moment. As with the made up "Super Shark vs. KrakenOpolis", they are wrong. Maybe it's just me, but I genuinely don't enjoy things that suck on purpose. If a filmmaker or a writer or whatever is truly trying and just missing the mark, that can be entertaining and I can appreciate their heart (if not their work), but I don't see the point of just making disposable trash like Death Kappa.

There's not much else to say about this one. It sucks, but it sucks on purpose. It's not entertaining in its terribleness, and it's not trying hard enough to even care. Kappa is a horrific beast with no redeeming qualities. Kanako is barely a character. Let's forget this one happened.

Next: Pacific Rim!

Cloverfield

The only found footage movie on our list is here! It's Cloverfield, a movie many people remember but no one talks much about. Let's find out why. I remember being a citizen of the internet in those halcyon days of 2008, and this movie was a phenomenon in certain places. In other places... not so much. So let's talk about this Matt Reeves directed film starring lots of people who had decent careers going forward, including Odette Annable, Lizzy Caplan, Jessica Lucas, and the film debut of T.J. Miller. 

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- Main character Rob has been promoted and is moving to Japan, and his friend Hud is recording people at a party making farewell messages for him. When his friend Beth shows up, it's incredibly awkward because she brought a date.

- An argument begins between Rob and Beth because apparently (we the audience already knew this) they hooked up a few weeks ago and now things are super awk especially because Rob's been in love with her for god knows how long, but this is all interrupted by a massive earthquake that knocks the power out.

- When people go outside to investigate reports of an oil tanker capsizing in the harbor by the Statue of Liberty, an explosion rocks the skyline and sends debris everywhere. This culminates in the head of the Statue of Liberty being thrown into the street in front of us.

- The party is obviously over, and our main characters are now just trying to survive the night. We catch glimpses of the monster, which we'll call Clover, here and there but are primarily running away.

- Trying to cross the Brooklyn Bridge, Clover destroys it with its tail (and kills Rob's brother in the process). Rob receives a call from Beth that she is in danger, and decides to go after and save her. 

- We finally catch a semi-decent look at the obscured creature, and small Parasite monsters fall from it as the military attacks. These things, unlike Clover, are actively aggressive.

- Rob and his friends (who stupidly agreed to join him on his quest) are nearly killed in a battle between the military and Clover. Most of the actual danger is from the military launching explosives, but the giant monster who won't notice it stepped on you is a real concern as well.

- Making it into the subway tunnel, the group has a moment of reprieve where Rob has to explain to his mother (over the phone) that his brother is dead. They decide to walk through the tunnel since Beth should only be about an hour away.

- In the tunnels, the group finds themselves attacked by Parasites. While they manage to fend them off, one of the group (Marlena) takes a disgusting and large bite to her back.

- Discovered by military, the group is taken to a location where survivors are being treated. Marlena begins to bleed from her eyes and is isolated when the military realizes she's been bitten. Once behind a curtain, we see her expand quite rapidly and then explode. The remaining 3 of our group are allowed to leave, but warned that the military is getting one final shot at Clover before all of Manhattan is being "let go."

- Making it to Beth's apartment, they manage to find her unconscious and impaled by rebar. They remove the rod (this is a bad idea kids, don't do it!) and now try to make it to the escape helicopters. Rob even kills a Parasite along the way.

- Once back out on the street, explosions continue to rock the city as Clover is attacked by the military. It's not too far from them, though, and they manage to make it onto an evacuation chopper.

- Once in the air, the group witnesses Clover take several bombs to the back. Right when they celebrate, the monster lashes out and knocks their helicopter out of the sky.

- On the ground, the cameraman Hud gets eaten by Clover, and Rob and Beth exchange "I love yous" as they are rocked by explosions.

Kaiju Notes 

- Clover is only seen briefly on camera and usually in small pieces at a time. It's first appearance is barely the back legs, but makes it clear that it is a massive creature (especially because it takes down the Woolworth Building seemingly by accident).

- The destruction of the Brooklyn Bridge is another example of Clover's obvious power, as it seems to bisect the bridge unintentionally.

- When we finally see as much of the monster as we can, we can see that it has several legs and seems to be vaguely amphibious. The giant maw and fangs don't make it appear friendly, and it has a truly decent roar. It's kinda reminds me of discount Cthulhu, when you take all of its various features into account.

- The Parasites are small enough to be seen directly, unlike the larger monster. They have at least 6 legs and look like some kind of cross between spiders and crabs. They have maws similar to Clover, but obviously on a much smaller scale, and too many eyes. They are quite large, probably the size of a medium to large dog. They latch onto their prey and seem to infect them with some toxin that causes them to explode. Not sure what the purpose of exploding your food is, but it's a movie.

- The monsters in this film seem to work in tandem so there's no sweet versus action, but Clover is clearly a powerful beastie and the Parasites are a real problem anytime they appear. A lot of Clover's actions seem unintentional, but if that foul creature really tried I think it could do some significant damage to anything.

First, a quibble: when the head of the Statue of Liberty is thrown into the street, it hits a building first. This causes a medium sized explosion before the head hits the ground for our camera. But why does it explode? The Statue of Liberty isn't laced with explosives, as far as I know, and most buildings (especially skyscrapers) aren't either. It's probably for dramatic effect, but it literally makes no sense.

Cloverfield is one of the best found footage films I've seen, which makes sense being that it's one of the first (the first?). I know a lot of people have trouble with the shaky cam, but it doesn't bother me so helps me to be entertained. It is also one of the few example of shaky cam that I find tolerable, not because it typically makes me sense but because it typically pisses me off. In a film where the camera is held by one of the characters and they are running from a giant monster, it makes sense that most of the shots are unstable. In a sequence where, let's say, two super spies are fighting in a professionally staged movie, shaky cam just obscures what could be a really cool scene into a random and terrible assortment of semi-discernible shots. Is this about The Bourne Identity and how it sucks? Yes. What does this have to do with Cloverfield? Nothing, shut up.

There's not a whole lot to say about the movie itself. It's entertaining and I liked it, but I don't love it. But Cloverfield is interesting for reasons outside of itself. As I mentioned above, I remember this film being a phenomenon. There was speculation about every aspect of the movie and analysis of any information that was known, including the AR game tie-in and any promo material. A lot of this was based around "where Clover came from" and this is a perspective that I simply do not understand. Maybe this is why I enjoy kaiju movies in ways most people don't? Throw me into a fictional world and let's have the wheels turn, I don't need to know why things are as they are, just that they are. The how is important, because it changes everything that does happen or can happen going forward, but whether Godzilla is an ancient reawakened being, a mutated dinosaur, a mutated iguana, or a literal alien doesn't matter at all to me. Why would it?

But Cloverfield serves as an example that I am the unusual type, apparently. Many changes were even made to the movie/script to make audiences by in more and make implications about origins. If they're correct, audiences are uncomfortable with uncertainty. I don't understand this at all, but it does give me plenty to think about in regards to why films and stories are structured the way they are. Cloverfield, for me, is entertaining but ultimately disposable. But perhaps it became the sensation that it was partially because of its combination of "just enough yet not sufficient" information to guide people to speculate and try to decode the truth. It wasn't something I ever engaged in because for me it was just a movie so why bother, but couldn't one argue that this entire blog is me doing the same thing for a genre rather than any specific film? Possible.

Conclusion: Cloverfield is fun and I enjoy it. Other people really bit into it in a way I don't fully understand but appreciate. If you can handle the shaky cam without being nauseated, you'll be in for a good time with this one. And I would definitely not mind seeing Clover show up in more films. More American kaiju please and also thank you.

Next: Death Kappa!

Gamera the Brave

It's 2006 and Gamera is back! Just like Godzilla, at this point Gamera has had 3 eras. His eras have always began after Godzilla's, and this time the turtle is continuing the legacy of kaiju films even after Godzilla's Millennium era came to a close. So today we view Gamera the Brave. The titular turtle is played by Toshinori Sasaki, with Mizuho Yoshida portraying his (new to the series) enemy Zedus. Yoshida has been seen on this blog before, having played Godzilla in GMK a few years before. Counter to my typical disregard of the human actors, I feel obliged to mention that the main human character Toru is played by a young Ryo Tomioka.

There's not a whole lot of background to explore on this film, and like most Gamera films/series, it seems obvious why it was made. Godzilla was popular and Kadokawa/Daiei film studio wanted to make their own kaiju film. The end result here is interesting, however, as this Gamera film is the only one made for the time period (and the last one made as of this writing). This is because it was a commercial disaster, opening at #6 in the Japanese box office, which is just... devastating. So our goal here, as always, is to view the film on its own merits and see what there is to see. But with a #6 opening that might have destroyed an entire IP, this one should be interesting.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- In the very first scene, we see a town be destroyed as collateral damage as Gamera battles several Gyaos some distance away. As the Gyaos begin to overtake him, Gamera immolates and explodes, killing himself and the Gyaos as well.

- Over 30 years later, a survivor of the attack and his son Toru pay tribute to the memory of his recently deceased wife (Toru's mother). They live in the same town that was previously damaged by the battle and this is the first summer without Toru's mother.

- While on the beach Toru finds an egg which immediately hatches a tiny turtle. Toru names it Toto because his mother used to call him that. He and Toto make some new friends because everyone loves turtles.

- As Toto begins to grow and show signs of having the same abilities as Gamera, we see an old man be eaten by some unknown creature in the sea. It's brutal.

- Shortly thereafter, Toto disappears. As Toru tries to find him, a kaiju attack begins. Here we meet Zedus, who kills several people before Toto reappears to try to stop him, even larger than before. Still only about one third the size of Gamera, he fights with Z valiantly.

- After Zedus unleashes (one of) his secret weapon, a piercing, spear-like tongue, Toto climbs the tongue and surprises Zedus and us with his use of fire-breath right in Z's face. This knocks him off the bridge they are fighting on and into the water, while the unconscious Toto is surrounded by the military.

- Toto is taken by the government for study, and despite being told there's nothing he can do about it Toru and his friends resolve to go rescue Toto.

- While on their way to save Toto, Zedus returns and attacks a major city. He damages the building Toto is contained in and the workers attempt to escape. Toto confronts Zedus a few minutes later, now free from his confines.

- Toru and his friends believe they have to deliver the red stone Toru found alongside Toto's egg in order for him to be strong enough to win, but Toru had let a friend borrow him as a good luck charm before she went into heart surgery. He goes to hospital and finds his father rather than his friend with the stone.

- Toru finds himself helpless, thinking that at this point even if he finds the stone and gets it to Toto, he'll probably have to self-destruct just like the Gamera from 30 years ago. His father tells him that Toto doesn't exist anymore, this is a Gamera. Either way, his father wants to escape and Toru wants to help.

- The kids organize against the wishes of every adult surrounding them, heading toward Toto-Gamera with the red stone and passing it to another child each time an adult or barrier stops them by simply stating "For Gamera."

- Gamera gets slammed into a skyscraper by Zedus while Toru and his father try to reach him with the red stone.

- When Toru reaches the top, he tells Toto-Gamera everyone didn't work this hard just to see him die, so when he takes the stone he can't just self-destruct and die like the older Gamera.

- After receiving the red stone Gamera seems to finally come into his true power and rocket-legs his way into Zedus, knocking him off a skyscraper and now prepared for a real fight.

- Gamera's chest begins to glow just like 30 years ago, indicating Toto-Gamera may be preparing to self-destruct in order to stop Zedus. The military tries to convince Toru and his father to escape, but Toru has faith that Gamera will not explode and stays to watch.

- Gamera rips Zedus' tongue out of his body. With his mouth open, Gamera's chest stop glowing as he launches a giant fireball into the big lizard-looking thing and explodes it from the inside.

- Gamera collapses in exhaustion after the battle concludes, and the military closes in again to capture him. This time, every child in the area surround Gamera and refuse to let him be taken. They encourage Gamera to fly away, and he shares a look with Toru before rocket-legging away to safety.

- Toru says goodbye to his friend with a tear in his eye as the movie ends.

Kaiju Notes 

- Zedus looks like a pissed off iguana porcupine. It's not the most creative kaiju design, but effective enough as a first foe for the return of a classic hero. His spear-tongue is an effective weapon but looks a bit goofy because it's purple and phallic. It also gets immediately countered by "teenage" Toto, so it proves to not be too effective pretty much immediately.

- Toto-Gamera is goddamn adorable. He's got biggest, most soulful eyes on the planet and lacks the tough-guy tusks of his previous incarnation. Even when he unleashes his first fireball into Zedus' eyes, it's completely unexpected because of how damn cute he is.

- There's not a whole lot else to talk about when it comes to kaiju in this one: Toto-Gamera looks very similar to the old one but is significantly cuter, but his powers and abilities are the same. Zedus is spiny lizard. End of.

The "For Gamera" scene is genuinely great. Kids being underestimated by everyone seems to be the theme, but the movie reinforces Gamera's "friend to all children" tagline with this sequence where every child seems to understand the importance of the situation but none of the adults do. Toru's dad eventually understands, even if he remains skeptical, but the sequence itself is affecting and fitting the film. Toru refuses to let Toto go without a fight and his dad eventually supports him in it, like Gamera was supported by every child who helped get to this point. Toru himself is even trusted by his father to finish the task by himself as he has to pass through some rubble his father can't and is encouraged to do so.

Toru is one of the better child actors we've seen in a kaiju movie to date, managing to deliver some real emotion to the role while not acting either too mature or too childish and cutesy. He loves Sgt. Frog and takes home a turtle that hatches from a mysterious egg, like a child does, but manages to make it clear that he's suffering from the loss of his mother (and eventually Toto) and doesn't want to lose his new friend. The speech he gives at the top of the building, the end of the road, is an excellent thematic wrap-up of his character arc, insisting that Gamera is going to live while being supported by all of his friends and (remaining) family. It's just great.

Gamera the Brave is, in my opinion, a real evolution in the telling of kaiju stories. Let me preface by saying this one isn't the first to do so, but it is proof that it came occur in series that aren't Godzilla: emotional storytelling and not needing to focus on kaiju action to tell an affecting story. When it comes to action, this movie is actually relatively light on it, but it's great nonetheless. This one isn't just an entertaining monster movie, it's legitimately quite good and proof that kaiju movies didn't peak 10, 20, or 50 years ago. Given how good this film is in addition to Gamera's 90's trilogy, I think the perception of Gamera as budget-Godzilla is entirely unfair. Gamera is great and has been for a long time. Genuinely worth everyone's time, watch Gamera the Brave.

Next: Cloverfield!

D-War

The same man who made the Yonggary film from 1999 is back for another shot at a kaiju movie: Shim Hyung-rae returns! While Yonggary did not go over well on this blog, we believe in 2nd (or 3rd or 4th or 75th) chances in this house! Like Yonggary, D-War is based in the US and stars mostly American (or at least English-speaking) actors. The most recognizable of these actors are Jason Behr and Robert Forster, but there's some other familiar faces in here too.

The monsters/kaiju in this one are almost entirely CGI, so there's no suit credit to be given. But it is notable that this film pulls from Korean mythology, with the premise being a dragon-like serpent called an Imugi transforming through mystical means into a proper Dragon. The movie spells this Imoogi, so that's what we're going with here. Another significant note for this film is that at the time it was released it was the most expensive Korean film ever made. So, hopefully that investment pays off when it comes to quality!

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- Every 500 years, a woman is born who contains a mighty spirit. Pursued by both good and evil serpents/Imoogi because of her power to turn them into powerful dragons, our main character Ethan is sworn to protect this woman.

- We get the story of the last woman born with this power, and see a tragic love story from 500 years ago where the woman and her protector/lover die after escaping from the evil serpent/Imoogi Baraki.

- Ethan, the reincarnation of the warrior who died with the previous Spirit lady, finds her reincarnation, a woman named Sarah.

- Tasked to bring Sarah to the Grand Cave on her 20th birthday, bad things begin to happen as the evil Baraki arrives in Los Angeles, and some mysterious and clearly evil human figure confronts Ethan (seems like a wizard or something).

- Escaping with Sarah and his friend, they are pursued by wizard guy but hit him with a car. He manifests armor and beats them up, but another car manages to knock him over and allow them to escape.

- Baraki's army rises to give chase, and now LA is under attack by the army in pursuit of Sarah (and Ethan).

- Not managing to make it out of LA before Baraki's army descends upon everyone, Baraki appears to be winning. Just in the nick of time, the military counter attacks and manages to fend Baraki off for a moment.

- We now get to watch Baraki's reptilian army battle the US military, and... it's kind of fun?

- Eventually, Baraki captures Ethan and Sarah and takes them to a ritual site. Once there, the good Imoogi emerges and tries to protect them, but is quickly felled by the powerful Baraki.

- Sarah realizes what she must do, and feeds her spiritual orb to the good Imoogi. She collapses and it transforms into a powerful dragon (even grows arms)!

- After another extremely quick battle, the good Dragon shoots a fireball down the throat of Baraki, who is reduced first to a skeleton and then to ash.

- Sarah is dead, but her spirit lingers long enough to tell Ethan she will love him for eternity.

Kaiju Notes 

- The Imoogi are giant snakes. They look like snakes and they act like snakes. Buraki is darker, so he looks more evil.

- The Atrox army also contains giant artillery bearing Dawdlers, the agile flying Bulco, and velociraptor/utahraptor like Shaconnes.

- Lastly, the Celestial Dragon is a very classic asian dragon creature.

- None of these kaiju designs are particularly creative, if you can't tell.

So, this is a very strange case. D-War is... horrible. And I love it. It starts out cheesy and weird and just doubles down over and over and over until a giant reptilian army is fighting with the US military. This movie has a distinct sense of humor but ultimately plays it straight, and I think its better for it. Despite how nonsensical every event is, the commitment to the bit makes it work despite never being anything resembling a quality film. It's a hard case, and it won't work for everyone. I waffle on whether I enjoy it myself. But at the end of the day for me it lands on the "so bad it's kinda good" side of things in that indiscernible way only movies of this kind.

Beyond that, there's very little that can be said about D-War. It sucks, but in a way that somehow makes it work? I could never possibly recommend it as an even "okay" movie, but find it entertaining. Whether it's giant dinosaurs launching artillery or dragons whipping US military helicopters out of the sky, this movie is just strange, terrible, and entertaining all at the same time. The acting isn't particularly good and the jokes are generally pretty bad but this shit makes me laugh every time. I have no way to explain it, so I'm not going to try. If you're into awful movies that somehow make it work, this is an example (unlike Death Kappa, which just sucks).

Next: Gamera the Brave!

Godzilla 2000

It's a new era for Godzilla, the Millennium era. After taking a little break between the death of Godzilla in Godzilla vs. Destoroyah, the giant leezard was put on a brief hiatus and we explored Gamera, Mothra, and American remakes on this blog. But the Millennium era has now come to Godzilla, and we're here until the Final Wars! Takao Okawara, the director for both vs. Destoroyah and vs. MechaGodzilla II returns to usher us into this time, and we welcome Tsutomu Kitagawa to the Godzilla suit after Kenpachiro Satsuma's excellent Heisei era work. The main villain of Godzilla 2000, Orga, is played by Makoto Ito.

Some backstory on this movie: Godzilla's hiatus was initially supposed to last longer than the 4 years between this film and vs. Destoroyah. But after the American remake (simply named Godzilla), Japanese audiences apparently craved a new take on the most famous kaiju in the world. Development of Godzilla 2000 began just two months after Tristar's take on the lizard king and it it not a secret that this is not a coincidence. Another relevant fact about the Millennium era is that every movie follows it's own continuity, acknowledging Gojira and making up its own history of Godzilla since. Godzilla 2000, for instance, doesn't comment much on the exact history of Godzilla but implies that he's been a frequent enough event to require a plan to destroy him and an ability to predict when he will appear next.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- A girl and her father have been hunting for Godzilla as part of the Godzilla Prediction Network (GPN). They barely escape with their lives as Godzilla destroys a nearby village.

- Elsewhere, an official with Crisis Control Intelligence (CCI) gives an update on "the meteorite." Inside, they discover an ancient UFO, 60 million years old.

- There is conflict between the GPN and CCI because the GPN believes Godzilla should be studied while the CCI just seeks to destroy him. The CCI develops a plan to take out Godzilla at last: a special missile.

- When Godzilla emerges from the sea again, the CCI and JSDF are waiting for him and they unleash everything they can on Big G.

- While this is happening, the meteorite/UFO takes flight and interrupts the battle. After analyzing him, it blasts him with powerful energy that knocks Godzilla off his feet. They exchange fire but the UFO appears to win, Godzilla disappearing. The UFO lands nearby and lies dormant.

- The CCI and GPN join forces to discover that Godzilla's cells contain something they call Regenerator G1, which allows him to regenerate so quickly. They hope to potentially use this to help humans in the future.

- As the sun goes down the UFO awakens again and, despite the military's attempts to contain it, begins to hack Tokyo's supercomputer.

- In an attempt to stop the UFO, the building it is currently atop (housing the supercomputer) is detonated. This (predictably) fails and the UFO begins to change the nearby atmosphere to suit their own conditions.

- The plan is that the UFO wants Godzilla's Regenerator G1 cells so that they can reform their own body, finally taking a shape that's not a UFO.

- Godzilla returns for a rematch and is immediately wrapped in alien tendrils. They have a brief skirmish that ends in Godzilla being smashed underneath several collapsing buildings before the UFO's tentacles reach out and feed on Godzilla.

- Absorbing Regenerator G1, the UFO manifests an alien creature Now it's Godzilla vs. Orga in an epic kaiju duel, with the damaged UFO popping in to help Orga from time to time.

- Orga opens its maw and begins to completely consume Godzilla in an attempt to become a "clone" of Big G, including skin of the same color and dorsal fins which begin to grow. 

- Unfortunately for Orga, putting Godzilla in its mouth really just means Godzilla has perfect aim into its soft tissues, and the dorsal fins light up red before Orga explodes from being Atomic Breath'd from the inside.

- Godzilla approaches our human characters, specifically killing the leader of CCI (who behaves defiantly) while letting the GPN personnel live (who behave deferentially).

- Godzilla wrecks some more shit on his way out of town, but leaves. Ironically, the GPN people claim that Godzilla "keeps protecting us" despite them watching him completely raze the city with Atomic Breath. Literally, the final shot of the movie is Godzilla needlessly destroying several city blocks right after they claim Godzilla keeps protecting humanity. What the fuck?

Kaiju Notes 

- Millennium Godzilla is a bit smaller than the Heisei era, but the jagged teeth of the Heisei era are even more pronounced so this design retains the animalistic aspects of the previous. It also appears that his dorsal fins are larger and more uneven, giving an added sense of asymmetry (instability? unpredictability?) to the big guy.

- Orga, in its fully developed form, is ugly and a bit overdesigned. It's not by any means a "bad" design, and Destoroyah (who I love) could be argued to be overdesigned as well. The difference, I think, is that Destoroyah had a theme (demon) while Orga seems more "Godzilla clone but make it complicated."

- Orga's abilities are relatively few and far between, mostly seeming focused on trying to turn itself into Godzilla rather than being able to truly fight him on even ground. The expandable jaw is an awesome addition and should be seen in more kaiju, but was an obviously terrible idea and Orga otherwise had very little to really fight back with. The UFO version was possibly stronger than the monster.

The first thing to note about this movie is that an over-reliance on CGI plagues it visually. Suit action Godzilla (and Orga) looks cool, but CGI shots are often awkward. The most notable of these shots is when the military attacks Godzilla near the beginning of the film and Godzilla is pursuing a helicopter. The crutch of CGI also harms the special effects and there are several notable instances where practical effects would have looked much better but instead we get cheap VFX. When Orga first manifests its "alien" form is just an ugly CGI squid looking thing which really could have been left out of the film entirely (and should have been). It's only about 20 seconds, but it's really ugly and unnecessary CGI when just letting us see Orga (suit) would have been more effective and saved money in the budget.

Another note that distinguishes this film is that the script is super weird. Everyone is hyper aggressive with each other, with one of the characters constantly being called an imbecile with relatively little reason other than every other human just hating her for no reason. She's not the only one, of course, as the main father/daughter pair is primarily characterized by the pre-teen age daughter consistently implying her father is incompetent in everything except Godzilla tracking matters, and still seeming to believe she's better at that than him anyway. Bosses hate workers, workers hate bosses, coworkers hate coworkers, executives hate their fellow executives, and families hate each other. It's just a really strange social dynamic that doesn't get enough exploration or explanation, especially given how common it is.

This last bit is really only a commentary on the dubbed version that I was initially watching, but there's an especially terrible choice in the final 60 seconds where we watch Godzilla intentionally Atomic Breath the city but one of the characters comments on Godzilla's constant "protection" of Earth. While I typically prefer subtitled versions of my kaiju movies, I already owned the dubbed version so just rolled with it. That was a mistake! In the original version, this is simply a comment that humans created Godzilla, and followed up by "Godzilla living in the hearts of all of us." But a genuine question is why the dubbers decided to completely change this line and make all of the characters look like idiots rather than embrace the message they seem to be trying to send which is that Godzilla's destructive tendencies originate with humans.

That last sentence does seem to be the idea behind this film: humanity's insistence on destruction. Perhaps that is why this movie is so thoroughly contentious with all of the characters? The humans all hate each other and the various forces antagonize one another as a message about the nature of Godzilla and why he is such a devastating force of nature? It's not 100% clear, but if I could draw anything out of the script that would probably be it. The bit near the end where the leader of CCI is killed by Godzilla (specifically) because of his refusal to be harmonious with the big guy. Combined with the fact that the human element of the story is resolved by GPN and CCI deciding to actually work together rather than against each other, I'd say the lesson of Godzilla 2000 is a little underdeveloped, but likely about cooperation and unity as the solution to the naturally destructive and antagonistic nature of humanity.

At the end of the day, Godzilla 2000 is a mixed bag. It does not earn a place as the most boring or worse kaiju film by far, but without knowing what to expect from the others I would not be surprised to find this one to be the worst of the era. The buildup to Orga was long and slow, and the creature itself actually stood very little chance against Godzilla so all of the time spent building up to it was kind of meaningless. On the other hand, the human story is functional and complementary of the kaiju bits. The worst visual are often due to the usage of CGI, but the suits and other special effects (even some of the CGI, I'm sure) work very well. It's a truly mixed bag, which leads to this very mixed review. If I had to choose a "yes" or "no" on this one being worth it? No.

Next: Godzilla vs. Megaguirus!