Godzilla vs. Megaguirus

The Millennium era of Godzilla continues, this time in Godzilla vs. Megaguirus, directed by newcomer to the series Masaaki Tezuka. Readers of this blog may remember that I was strongly disappointed by the creature Meganulon which was introduced in the original Rodan. So, I was pleased to discover that all I had to do was wait 40 years to receive a much-needed followup on that giant insect. Enter Megaguirus, portrayed in this film by Minoru Watanabe, an evolution of Meganulon into the truly fearsome form we should've seen fight with Rodan. Perhaps predictably, Tsutomu Kitagawa returns as Godzilla. 

Besides providing some redemption to my boy Meganulon, there's not much else to mention as lead up to this film. Let's get it on.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- In the continuity of this film, Godzilla attacked (only) in 1954, 1968, and 1998, always focusing on power plants. Clearly attracted to nuclear and plasma energy, the government bans these forms of power to deter attacks from Big G.

- Now, in the year 2001, a black hole weapon has been invented by the G-Graspers, a section of the JSDF dedicated to destroying Godzilla. One of the G-Graspers is Major Tsujimori, who lost her commanding officer and friend in the 1998 attack and seeks revenge on Godzilla.

- The idea is that they can suck Godzilla into the black hole, either killing him or trapping him inside for all eternity. Shortly after the first test, a young boy finds a giant egg inside the test field and eventually disposes of it down the sewer.

- The creature, a giant dragonfly called Meganulon, eventually emerges from the sewer and kills two people in brutal fashion. It takes up residence on a nearby skyscraper and appears to multiply.

- Meganula, being inside the sewers, cause the entire city to become flooded. An underwater drone captures images of the innumerable eggs underneath the water.

- While the G-Graspers move to destroy Godzilla with the black hold weapon, the swarm of Meganula surround Godzilla and also prevent the satellite based weapon from being able to target him.

- The Meganula feed on Godzilla while he tries to fight them off. He eventually kills enough of them that the satellite targets and fires its black hole at him.

- Predictably, Godzilla survives. The surviving Meganula swim to their base and feed the energy they collected from Godzilla to their Queen, which grows to enormous size and flies into Shibuya's airspace.

- Megaguirus, the Dragonfly Queen, raids Shibuya using razor sharp wings and some sort of sonic pulse which can destroy buildings.

- The two beasts now face off, Megaguirus being an entity of wanton destruction while Godzilla mostly focuses on defending himself.

- Eventually, Megaguirus flies in for an attack but Godzilla ducks underneath her and she slices her own arm off using his giant dorsal fin. Unfortunately the timing on this is really bad and it doesn't look like an intentional tactic.

- Adapting, Megaguirus pieces Godzilla with her tail and absorbs his energy, using it to fire a version of his Atomic Breath back at him. Knocking him down, she comes in for the killing blow, attempting to stab him in the face.

- In slow motion, Godzilla catches the pincer in his mouth and bites it off. This hurts Megaguirus and gives him to the chance to finish her off using a double blast of Atomic Breath. She falls from the sky in a plume of (atomic) fire.

- Tsujimori discovers that Godzilla is attacking the city only because the head of the G-Graspers has developed another plasma energy, which is luring the big lizard in just as it did last time he attacked. She punches her boss in the face since his actions have caused so many people to die.

- Fortunately, with Megaguirus gone, the black hole weapon is functional once more and falling into the atmosphere. Tsujimori jumps into her ship to help it target Godzilla before it's too late.

- Barely making it in time, she manages to lock on to Godzilla before ejecting at the last possible second. Godzilla sees the black hole coming and fires his Atomic Breath at it in return, the two projectiles colliding into a giant explosion that causes Godzilla to disappear and a giant chasm in the city. The humans have finally won.

- Some time later, in an epilogue, Tsujimori seeks to investigate some unusual activity. In a post-credits scene Godzilla's roar is heard outside a school, implying he is not truly gone for good.

Kaiju Notes

- Meganulon is a relatively standard "giant insect" design, but gets bonus points for being a brutal creature. Its first two kills are fucked up, including spitting some sort of grossness and squeezing a man's head until he spits up blood.

- Megaguirus isn't the most creative of monster designs herself, being a pissed off demonic dragonfly, but we don't always need to reinvent the wheel. Dragonflies are kind of creepy anyway, so enlarging it and giving it sonic weaponry is pretty much kaiju design 101.

- Godzilla's Atomic Breath has improved somewhat in this film. While the 2000 version was fine, this movie upgrades him to a breath that looks more like plasma in consistency and color, which makes a lot of sense for his motivations in the story.

I only have a few things to say about this one, and the first is a positive: the human story is well-balanced, feeding into the kaiju story in a way that makes the human elements actually compelling enough to pay attention to while not feeling like they're detracting from what we're here for: Megaguirus vs. Godzilla. Tsujimori is a relatively interesting main human character, being a true hater of Godzilla but not letting that be her only personality trait or cause her to do incredibly stupid things. That last point shouldn't be so rare but it's incredibly uncommon in kaiju films for the human who hates the main kaiju to not be foolish as a result. As a for instance, Tsujimori does not at any point help Megaguirus because it also wants to kill Godzilla, only to realize that Megaguirus might be worse. Tsujimori: good.

On the negative side, some elements of the film are clunky. These are mostly technical errors, but can take away from the sweet kaiju action. The timing of the dorsal fin chop makes the (cool) idea seems accidental at best, and Megaguirus itself is a very physically focused attacker for a creatures with razor sharp wings and a sonic weapon. It has little claws, but they look pretty goofy trying to tussle with the much physically stronger looking Godzilla, whose teeth are roughly as large as Megaguirus' claws. Megaguirus at one point appears to try to strangle Godzilla, which works about as well as that sounds.

The Megaguirus vs. Godzilla element is quite good. As mentioned above, Megaguirus itself is pretty vicious and interesting even in larval form. When the creatures fight, there's even an element of strategy to the endeavor. While we don't fully realize this until the fight is over, Megaguirus is not the hardiest of blokes so spends much of the battle using hit and run tactics so that he can never be hit cleanly (because he'd die). Godzilla does genuinely have trouble against the mobile Mega, so ends up having to outsmart his enemy rather than rely on his sheer power and endurance as he normally can. Megaguirus itself also lack a particularly powerful weapon to use against the Big G, but he still does pretty well with what he's got. Overall, this is one of the better kaiju battles overall, not being one note or too short.

In the end, however, Godzilla vs. Megaguirus is relatively forgettable. Having seen it very recently (that's what the whole blog is about), all I can really remember is "black hole... Megaguirus...Tsujimori... Godzilla." There's not a whole lot to remember, even if all of it works. It's strange. But some things can't always be explained, so we're stuck with this fairly middling flick despite all of it being pretty solid on paper (or digital text, whatever).

Next: Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack!

Godzilla 2000

It's a new era for Godzilla, the Millennium era. After taking a little break between the death of Godzilla in Godzilla vs. Destoroyah, the giant leezard was put on a brief hiatus and we explored Gamera, Mothra, and American remakes on this blog. But the Millennium era has now come to Godzilla, and we're here until the Final Wars! Takao Okawara, the director for both vs. Destoroyah and vs. MechaGodzilla II returns to usher us into this time, and we welcome Tsutomu Kitagawa to the Godzilla suit after Kenpachiro Satsuma's excellent Heisei era work. The main villain of Godzilla 2000, Orga, is played by Makoto Ito.

Some backstory on this movie: Godzilla's hiatus was initially supposed to last longer than the 4 years between this film and vs. Destoroyah. But after the American remake (simply named Godzilla), Japanese audiences apparently craved a new take on the most famous kaiju in the world. Development of Godzilla 2000 began just two months after Tristar's take on the lizard king and it it not a secret that this is not a coincidence. Another relevant fact about the Millennium era is that every movie follows it's own continuity, acknowledging Gojira and making up its own history of Godzilla since. Godzilla 2000, for instance, doesn't comment much on the exact history of Godzilla but implies that he's been a frequent enough event to require a plan to destroy him and an ability to predict when he will appear next.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- A girl and her father have been hunting for Godzilla as part of the Godzilla Prediction Network (GPN). They barely escape with their lives as Godzilla destroys a nearby village.

- Elsewhere, an official with Crisis Control Intelligence (CCI) gives an update on "the meteorite." Inside, they discover an ancient UFO, 60 million years old.

- There is conflict between the GPN and CCI because the GPN believes Godzilla should be studied while the CCI just seeks to destroy him. The CCI develops a plan to take out Godzilla at last: a special missile.

- When Godzilla emerges from the sea again, the CCI and JSDF are waiting for him and they unleash everything they can on Big G.

- While this is happening, the meteorite/UFO takes flight and interrupts the battle. After analyzing him, it blasts him with powerful energy that knocks Godzilla off his feet. They exchange fire but the UFO appears to win, Godzilla disappearing. The UFO lands nearby and lies dormant.

- The CCI and GPN join forces to discover that Godzilla's cells contain something they call Regenerator G1, which allows him to regenerate so quickly. They hope to potentially use this to help humans in the future.

- As the sun goes down the UFO awakens again and, despite the military's attempts to contain it, begins to hack Tokyo's supercomputer.

- In an attempt to stop the UFO, the building it is currently atop (housing the supercomputer) is detonated. This (predictably) fails and the UFO begins to change the nearby atmosphere to suit their own conditions.

- The plan is that the UFO wants Godzilla's Regenerator G1 cells so that they can reform their own body, finally taking a shape that's not a UFO.

- Godzilla returns for a rematch and is immediately wrapped in alien tendrils. They have a brief skirmish that ends in Godzilla being smashed underneath several collapsing buildings before the UFO's tentacles reach out and feed on Godzilla.

- Absorbing Regenerator G1, the UFO manifests an alien creature Now it's Godzilla vs. Orga in an epic kaiju duel, with the damaged UFO popping in to help Orga from time to time.

- Orga opens its maw and begins to completely consume Godzilla in an attempt to become a "clone" of Big G, including skin of the same color and dorsal fins which begin to grow. 

- Unfortunately for Orga, putting Godzilla in its mouth really just means Godzilla has perfect aim into its soft tissues, and the dorsal fins light up red before Orga explodes from being Atomic Breath'd from the inside.

- Godzilla approaches our human characters, specifically killing the leader of CCI (who behaves defiantly) while letting the GPN personnel live (who behave deferentially).

- Godzilla wrecks some more shit on his way out of town, but leaves. Ironically, the GPN people claim that Godzilla "keeps protecting us" despite them watching him completely raze the city with Atomic Breath. Literally, the final shot of the movie is Godzilla needlessly destroying several city blocks right after they claim Godzilla keeps protecting humanity. What the fuck?

Kaiju Notes 

- Millennium Godzilla is a bit smaller than the Heisei era, but the jagged teeth of the Heisei era are even more pronounced so this design retains the animalistic aspects of the previous. It also appears that his dorsal fins are larger and more uneven, giving an added sense of asymmetry (instability? unpredictability?) to the big guy.

- Orga, in its fully developed form, is ugly and a bit overdesigned. It's not by any means a "bad" design, and Destoroyah (who I love) could be argued to be overdesigned as well. The difference, I think, is that Destoroyah had a theme (demon) while Orga seems more "Godzilla clone but make it complicated."

- Orga's abilities are relatively few and far between, mostly seeming focused on trying to turn itself into Godzilla rather than being able to truly fight him on even ground. The expandable jaw is an awesome addition and should be seen in more kaiju, but was an obviously terrible idea and Orga otherwise had very little to really fight back with. The UFO version was possibly stronger than the monster.

The first thing to note about this movie is that an over-reliance on CGI plagues it visually. Suit action Godzilla (and Orga) looks cool, but CGI shots are often awkward. The most notable of these shots is when the military attacks Godzilla near the beginning of the film and Godzilla is pursuing a helicopter. The crutch of CGI also harms the special effects and there are several notable instances where practical effects would have looked much better but instead we get cheap VFX. When Orga first manifests its "alien" form is just an ugly CGI squid looking thing which really could have been left out of the film entirely (and should have been). It's only about 20 seconds, but it's really ugly and unnecessary CGI when just letting us see Orga (suit) would have been more effective and saved money in the budget.

Another note that distinguishes this film is that the script is super weird. Everyone is hyper aggressive with each other, with one of the characters constantly being called an imbecile with relatively little reason other than every other human just hating her for no reason. She's not the only one, of course, as the main father/daughter pair is primarily characterized by the pre-teen age daughter consistently implying her father is incompetent in everything except Godzilla tracking matters, and still seeming to believe she's better at that than him anyway. Bosses hate workers, workers hate bosses, coworkers hate coworkers, executives hate their fellow executives, and families hate each other. It's just a really strange social dynamic that doesn't get enough exploration or explanation, especially given how common it is.

This last bit is really only a commentary on the dubbed version that I was initially watching, but there's an especially terrible choice in the final 60 seconds where we watch Godzilla intentionally Atomic Breath the city but one of the characters comments on Godzilla's constant "protection" of Earth. While I typically prefer subtitled versions of my kaiju movies, I already owned the dubbed version so just rolled with it. That was a mistake! In the original version, this is simply a comment that humans created Godzilla, and followed up by "Godzilla living in the hearts of all of us." But a genuine question is why the dubbers decided to completely change this line and make all of the characters look like idiots rather than embrace the message they seem to be trying to send which is that Godzilla's destructive tendencies originate with humans.

That last sentence does seem to be the idea behind this film: humanity's insistence on destruction. Perhaps that is why this movie is so thoroughly contentious with all of the characters? The humans all hate each other and the various forces antagonize one another as a message about the nature of Godzilla and why he is such a devastating force of nature? It's not 100% clear, but if I could draw anything out of the script that would probably be it. The bit near the end where the leader of CCI is killed by Godzilla (specifically) because of his refusal to be harmonious with the big guy. Combined with the fact that the human element of the story is resolved by GPN and CCI deciding to actually work together rather than against each other, I'd say the lesson of Godzilla 2000 is a little underdeveloped, but likely about cooperation and unity as the solution to the naturally destructive and antagonistic nature of humanity.

At the end of the day, Godzilla 2000 is a mixed bag. It does not earn a place as the most boring or worse kaiju film by far, but without knowing what to expect from the others I would not be surprised to find this one to be the worst of the era. The buildup to Orga was long and slow, and the creature itself actually stood very little chance against Godzilla so all of the time spent building up to it was kind of meaningless. On the other hand, the human story is functional and complementary of the kaiju bits. The worst visual are often due to the usage of CGI, but the suits and other special effects (even some of the CGI, I'm sure) work very well. It's a truly mixed bag, which leads to this very mixed review. If I had to choose a "yes" or "no" on this one being worth it? No.

Next: Godzilla vs. Megaguirus!

Yonggary (Reptilian)

Yonggarry is a remake of a 1967 movie named Yongary, Monster from the Deep, directed by Shim Hyung-rae. Interestingly, despite being a Korean produced movie by Korean creators, the cast is primarily western actors and the movie seems to have been filmed in English and take place in a western country (probably the US). I'm not an expert on Korean cinema by any means so I have no idea if this is particularly significant, but definitely seemed worth noting. Like the previous film we covered, the titular monster does not have a (credited) suit actor, being a full CGI creation. Though suits were used in the production of the film, there's no trace of this in the final product. While I'm sure there was an actor inside said suit, I haven't been able to find their name.

The only really interesting background fact of this movie is why we're covering the 1999 remake instead of the 1967 classic and it's simple: the original is a lost film. While a short cut/version has been found in the years since it was initially thought lost to time, it's still not the complete film. Rather than do that film a disservice in speaking on an incomplete cut of it, I decided to watch the remake instead so I could get a full Yonggary experience. Hopefully it pays off.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- A group of archaeologists are exploring a cave. Coming across some creepy shit, they get exploded and a bunch of people die.

- A photojournalist, Bud, goes to the dig site and meets one of the only survivors from the previous party and the new leader, Campbell, as well as his assistant Holly. The giant bones they are uncovering is said to be "the most important discovery in human history."

- Mysterious incidents begin to happen to the camp, with men from the dig site dying in "accidents" which are very clearly not accidents. Campbell doesn't care at all, simply telling the workers to dispose of the body and continue working, at one point threatening to turn them in for being undocumented.

- The former leader of the archaeologists, Hughes, appears again, warning of a horrible fate to befall the Earth if the dig continues. He is ignored and taken away by the workers but inspires Holly to quit.

- When the bones are finally unearthed, they are revived by an alien spaceship which has been established to exist in the movie already. The creature, giant and angry, kills many of the workers, including Campbell.

- As Yonggary, the giant monster, is snatched away by the aliens, Hughes and Holly are taken into military custody. They are eventually confronted by Yonggary again. A helicopter squadron attacks it but is predictably destroyed, but gives Holly and Hughes enough time to escape.

- A showdown between the military and Yonggary ensues, revealing that Yonggary is a weapon for the aliens to weaken Earth and allow them conquest.

- Hughes and Holly eventually figure out that Yonggary is being controlled by the aliens using a node in its forehead.

- The node destroyed, Yonggary becomes a bit of a hero, trying to help people rather than harm them.

- The aliens, as predicted by H&H, send another monster (Cykor) to destroy Yonggary.

- Cykor is eventually destroyed by Yonggary after initially getting the upper hand, and Yonggary is safely transported to a remote island where it can live peacefully.

Kaiju Notes

- Yonggary looks... terrible. Not just due to the bad CGI, though it is quite bad, but also because it's just a very generic design for a very generic monster. It's vaguely reptilian but lacks any real defining features or weight. Pretty disappointing for the star of your monster movie.

- Cykor is actually better than Yonggary, being some sort of chimera which is at least interesting if still 90s-CGI-ugly. Though it lacks a face, it at least has a distinct shape and purpose: a weapon. With wrapping tentacles, many claws, at least four legs, and a thick tail that can be used for leverage, this is the only creature that adds some character to a movie that otherwise lacks any.

- Cykor also gets up after being fully decapitated by Yonggary. It raises the question of why the aliens waited for Yonggary to be revived. While the titular Y-man did eventually win the fight, Cykor seems plenty able to wipe out all militaries all by its lonesome. The aliens would have plenty of time to dig up Yonggary themselves and then have 2 monsters under their control.

This movie absolutely sucks.

Next: Godzilla 2000!

Godzilla (1998)

Finally, it is time for a real American Godzilla film. Godzilla, released in 1998, stars everyone's favorite rambunctious youth, Matthew Broderick, but 20 years older. There is an uncredited suit actor for the titular monster named Kurt Carley, though I'm not sure how much of the creature is CGI and how much is suit (I imagine everything we see on screen is CGI but that there was a suit actor to help on set) and Frank Welker and Gary A. Hecker provide monster vocal effects. The disaster movie master, Roland Emmerich, directs this one, so as far as spectacle goes there is hope! But I saw this movie when I was 12 years old so I would like to lower your expectations. Independence Day is rad: this ain't that.

If You Haven't Seen it Before

- A Japanese ship is attacked by an enormous creature that a survivor calls Gojira. Dr. Nick Tatopoulos, a biologist, is called in to investigate.

- Zilla, as we will call it for reasons that will be explained much later, is a mutated iguana that continues to attack things and wreak havoc. Zilla appears to the public for the first time and its existence is revealed before it disappears, unable to be found.

- Trying to lure Zilla in, the military and Tatopoulos set up a giant pile of delicious raw fish. It works, and Zilla is attacked by the military. This goes predictably poorly, and several buildings and lots of military equipment is destroyed in the process.

- Tatopoulos does some blood work and discovers that Zilla is pregnant, and seems to be in Manhattan in order to nest and give birth to its kin, which will create a rapidly growing population of giant lizards.

- Tatopoulos runs out to tell people, having left his ex-girlfriend behind in his research tent. She steals this material to further her hopeful career as a TV news anchor, revealing the truth to the public.

- Tatopoulos is fired from the project for the info getting out into the press, and ends up with French Secret Service agents who do believe the nest exists despite the military disavowing this fact to the public.

- Tatopoulos' ex-girlfriend wants to make her betrayal up to him, so she follows him and his new French friends in an attempt to prove he was right to the whole world.

- In the meantime, the military lures Zilla into Central Park with another fish trap, and once again lose a lot of people and equipment to the giant iguana. They eventually manage to score a direct hit with two missiles while it is underwater, believing to have killed it.

- Tatopoulos (and friends) go into Madison Square Garden and find the eggs they were expected, but over 200 of them rather than the 12 he estimated. As they prepare to destroy them with plastic explosives, they begin to hatch.

- The baby Zillas are alive now, and they begin to hunt the humans. One of Tatopoulos' allies tries to convince the military to search for the nest now that the big one is dead, because if he was right they have a serious problem on their hands.

- The people inside the nest go live on the local news, revealing the baby Zillas and that the only solution is to destroy MSG entirely before these mini Zillas escape and begin to rapidly reproduce. This gives everyone six minutes to escape as the bombs are about to fall.

- They manage to escape just in time and the baby Zillas die in fire. But there's still a literally bigger problem: Adult Zilla, returned to its nest and angered that its children are dead. It gives chase, intent on eating our group of humans. Manging to escape but now trapped in a tunnel, Zilla is moments away from managing to reach them.

- Told to lure Zilla out in the open, they manage to lure Zilla to the Brooklyn Bridge. It gets wrapped in the suspension cables after destroying the bridge, which allows the military to pelt it with missiles. Zilla dies after like a dozen missiles enter its body.

- Everyone goes home happy, but a sequel sting follows as a final Zilla egg hatches a living kin.

Kaiju Notes 

- I actually don't hate the sleek look of Zilla. A thinner, more agile kaiju is a fine idea in principle, and the heart of the creature remains intact, visually.

- The baby Zillas aren't any different from the larger one. Technically they just give us a better look at the larger version. Unlike the original Baby Godzilla compared to the OG Godzilla, who looked quite different, Baby Zilla is just mini-Zilla.

- Zilla does not have Atomic Breath, but does have an ability called Power Breath. This is essentially a massive exhale, capable of knocking cars and even tanks into the air and blowing them away. On two occasions a flammable object is caught in this Power Breath and explodes, creating the illusion of fire breathing.

My first critique of this film is simple: this script is terrible. Beyond being little more than spectacle, which can often be quite fun, it is remarkably boring for at least the first 60 minutes and every conflict in the film is resolved with one conversation. When Tatopoulos meets his ex-girlfriend for the first time in several years and doesn't want to talk to her, she simply says "aw give me a chance," and he changes his mind. When the French special forces don't want to take Tatopoulos to find the Zilla nest because of the danger, he says "aw give me a chance," and they change their mind. When Tatopoulos is betrayed by his ex and confronts her, she says she had to do it if she wants to further her career and he says "aw man why'd you do that" and she's suddenly riddled with guilt. 

I'm not saying that conversations shouldn't happen in films or be critical turning points. In fact, many plots would be resolved if people would simply talk and explain things to each other. But when every issue is resolved in about 12 words, it becomes obvious that these characters are just puzzle pieces being moved into place, not people. People don't often change their minds on fundamental issues with a simple "but c'mon," but they do in the Zilla-Verse. I can't tell if it's just laziness or because none of these characters have flaws, but in either case it makes the entire script incredibly weak. Combine all of that with how utterly dull the movie is unless Zilla is on the screen (not baby Zillas, only real Zilla) and you've got a real problem on your hands.

The titular creature, godZilla, is an interesting case. I think the design of a sleeker, dexterous create makes a lot of sense for a kaiju and I'm pleased that someone has finally truly embraced it. On the other hand, the reason Zilla is called Zilla is because, in the words of Toho producers who use Zilla in an upcoming movie "they took the god out of Godzilla." So, clearly, the redesign did not go over terribly well. And it's true, Zilla kinda sucks, but not because of the way it looks but rather how it's treated. The best example of why it doesn't work is the baby-Zillas. The primary concern of this film is not that there's a single Zilla, but that there will be more. Once the nest is taken down, everyone breathes a huge sigh of relief and now can focus on Zilla. But if this were the Japanese Godzilla, you don't have to worry about smaller Godzillas because Godzilla himself is such a threat that you have to focus on that first and foremost. Zilla is lured into a trap, wrapped in bridge cables, and killed with a few fighter jets. It really does lack the God of Godzilla, as this could never make sense for the original. Besides the fact that he'd completely destroy a bridge rather than be trapped by it, missiles can hurt him but are very unlikely to kill him by piercing his skin. While some weapon have successfully been used against Godzilla, they have to be designed and aimed very carefully to manage any significant damage. But Zilla just gets wrapped up and fucked up in the same few minutes, making it clear that Zilla's actually not terribly tough: its only real advantage was agility. And that is, ultimately, pretty disappointing.

Power Breath is a great example of what's truly "wrong" with this movie. It doesn't commit to the concept it's adapting. Godzilla is a powerful beast which normal/conventional weapons have no hope of stopping: tanks and planes can deter and damage him, sure, but it's going to take something unique to actually kill (or even critically wound) him. He also has Atomic Breath, making him a serious threat at range. But Zilla has Power Breath, which only works relatively close to it and can be killed with a couple of spare missiles as long as it can be targeted. It's a total lack of commitment to the concept of Godzilla: a threat but more of an annoyance than a creature which could destroy an entire city. The biggest challenge the military faces in this movie is trying to hit Zilla (particularly in not destroying the city surrounding it at the same time), not doing damage. I think the concept is this: how could the American military not destroy something? Ridiculous. So clearly we can kill it. How could a creature have a special breath weapon? Ridiculous. So clearly it does not have that anymore. This is not to say that Atomic Breath is not ridiculous: it is, but that's why it's awesome. Why adapt something if you have contempt for it?

If you cannot tell by all of the previous words, godZilla, as we're calling it from here on out, is a disappointment. Whether you're being bored by the humans or watching Zilla get killed really easily, there's very little of the heart of Godzilla in this film. Some of the action scenes are entertaining, so I don't want to claim it's a total waste of time, but they're few and far between and give us very little to enjoy throughout. Skip it.

Next: Yonggary (Reptilian)!