Saturday, January 29, 2022
Mothra
Saturday, January 22, 2022
Rodan
The first non-Godzilla movie on our list! Rodan was released in December of 1956 and the first movie in color. We're watching progress happen as we watch kaiju flicks, folks! Directed by familiar name Ishirō Honda and with the titular kaiju played by famed Godzilla suit actor Haruo Nakajima, this is a movie definitely made in the same vein of any other Godzilla movie, just with no appearance by the Big G. Let's get to the point.
Saturday, January 15, 2022
Godzilla Raids Again
Saturday, January 8, 2022
Godzilla, King of the Monsters!
We start in media res, finding our ever present narrator and reporter Steve Martin waking up underneath rubble, saying he was in Tokyo for a "social call." You know that that means: my boy Steve Martin was tryna fuck. We move to the sequences from the last movie, the aftermath of Godzilla attacking Tokyo, so they can frontload the terror of Godzilla. We also find out that Steve Martin is friends with almost every main character from the previous movie, including hero and scientist Serizawa and best girl Emiko. He does not seem to know Emiko's fiancé or father. Which doesn't matter much because they don't matter in this version almost at all. He also mentions that Serizawa is well-known for his revolutionary experiments.
Cutting back in time, we see Steve Martin investigating the mysterious incidents which portend Godzilla's arrival, and as a foreign reporter he is apparently immediately accepted into conversations with high-ranking Japanese intelligence officials. We also get several scenes of the original character being insert into scenes with Steve, and it's honestly sometimes very funny.
Onto the Oxygen Destroyer, the reveal is just unusual. Emiko is here to tell him that she will not be marrying him but instead her new fiancé, but can't muster up the courage. While she attempts to do so he says he has something to show her and they haul off to his lab. Given the "on a lark" approach to Serizawa's reveal and the reason Emiko is here, the whole scene where he shows her this terrible weapon reads a bit like a threat. Which is funnier, sure, but does some real damage to the "weight of the world" approach they took with Serizawa in the original.
Another important (and bad) note: the violence and carnage of Godzilla is somewhat sanitized in this version, with most of the action happening with Steve Martin and his entourage all watching the horribleness from a safe distance. Some are attempting (and failing) to look deeply affected by it all, but there's only so much tension and terror you can feel while your main character is simply watching from afar and never in any real danger. Raymond Burr's entirely stoneface performance doesn't really help. Can't tell if he just doesn't care because it's only Japanese people being murdered or if it's just how he reacts to general terribleness, but either way it becomes a lot harder to take the horror of it all seriously when every scene is intercut with Stoneface Steve Martin. Worse yet, most of the sequences of Steve Martin interrupting the action is for him to dryly explain what is happening onscreen, and that's just dreadful filmmaking. The closest Steve Martin goes to showing a human emotion throughout this film is when he believes he's about to die, as Godzilla Atomic Breathes all over his newsroom and we are thrust back to the first scene of the movie, Steven Martin crushed beneath rubble. Let's be clear, this is the closest he's gotten to appearing human, it is not actually close at all.
My favorite part of this movie is when a car is exploded by Godzilla and I SWEAR TO GOD that they've added an absolutely hilarious scream. It cannot have been in the original cut because I WOULD REMEMBER. Definitely a "so bad it's good" moment.
Wound from the attack from Godzilla we experience the aftermath of the attack from Steve Martin's perspective, focused on the suffering of this single American rather than the community pain that was emphasized in the original. He is told by Emiko the secret of the Oxygen Destroyer and convinces Emiko to go to Serizawa and insist he use the new weapon. She seemed inclined to do so anyway, it's why she mentioned it in the first place, but now she's had TWO MEN (and one WHITE) tell her to do it so obviously she's on board now.
The ending plays out largely the same, Serizawa is convinced because it's the right thing to do and eventually dies along with Godzilla. While the original plot here includes him lamenting over creating such a weapon and speaking of the horrors of nuclear war and the arms race, they barely mention it here (probably not to rustle any American jimmies) and instead focus on it being "the right thing to do". There's a certain undeniable grotesque character to an American version of a Japanese movie which warns against the dread of nuclear war instead focusing on a message that a horrific weapon has to be used for the greater good barely ten years after being the only country to actually use nuclear weapons against that same population. While the Japanese were making a movie to protest and warn against the proliferation of nuclear (and potentially worse) weaponry, American producers decided to subtly throw in that such weapons are sometimes just necessary sometimes okaaaaaay. Serizawa does still die in this version to prevent the secret of the Oxygen Destroyer from getting out, but without the foundation set up on his motivations it could potentially be read almost as an accident.
Funnily, at the end of the movie, Serizawa harkens back to my joke that he showed Emiko the Oxygen Destroyer to threaten her. He wishes her and her new fiancé luck in their future relationship as he cuts his lifelines, a conversation that has apparently never happened so he definitely knew she was moving on when he decided to show her his new and fearsome weapon. Serizawa really didn't want to lose her!
Anyway, to conclude: Godzilla, King of the Monsters! is a significantly worse version of the original with some added hideous messaging that runs nearly counter to the message of the original. Basically take a horror-monster movie allegory and remove all of the tension, intelligence, depth, and social relevance and you've got Godzilla, King of the Monsters!
This ain't it, Chief.
Next: Godzilla Raids Again!
Saturday, January 1, 2022
Gojira
Gojira: the original film, the one that started it all. I am referring to it here as Gojira to help distinguish it from both the American re-release/edit called Godzilla, King of the Monsters and two American releases decades later also named simply Godzilla. We'll get to that.
Photos
Kumonga, Son of Godzilla





Monster Hunter
We've done it. The Year of the Kaiju, 2022, has come to an end. And today we're concluding this blog with one of the most recent kai...

-
Gojira : the original film, the one that started it all. I am referring to it here as Gojira to help distinguish it from both the American...
-
Gigan is, no joke, my favorite kaiju. So rather than doing a bunch of setup about how this movie is directed by Jun Fukuda and stars Haruo ...
-
It's time for our first proper versus movie! It's even in the title. While I don't always do this, let's talk about the back...